Tag Archives: sex lessons

Goats In Lust: They’re Just Like Us!

Goats In Lust: They're Just Like Us!

We’d all like to think we’ve evolved way past our animal antecedents, having transcended the baser survival instincts that propelled us from the primordial ooze to this moment. These very instincts have been variously invoked by relationship experts, who will one day have us believing that we’re not that different from our mammalian brethren and the next consoling us with the alleged ocean that exists between our higher selves and our need-driven beast counterparts.

All that stuff about how men can’t be expected to be faithful because they’re programmed to spread their seed much like our ape ancestors did … I mean who the fuck knows? Seems like a pretty convenient theory that leaves out a lot of female agency.  I’m hardly an expert in matters of love, human evolution or animal psychology, but I did recently begin a new career in goat husbandry, and if my weeks inside a barn witnessing the aforementioned ruminants breed is any indication, we’re really not so far off from our quadripedular (not a word but it stays) friends. Here are some things that I found eerily familiar in simultaneously distressing and comforting ways. Being that I’m totally objective and trained in these matters, I will say authoritatively that these observations basically reaffirmed my suspicion that dudes are by and large totally addled idiots when fueled by lust, and that sex makes bitches act cray. Highly scientific stuff. I’m probably going to be awarded an honorary degree from somewhere any minute. Keep reading »

30 Important Sex Lessons We Learned This Year (NSFW)

This year did not disappoint when it came to sex headlines. In 2012, I learned a lot of new and important (I’m not sure if “important” is quite the right word, but I’m going with it) lessons. I’m still trying to make sense of it all, but let’s review what I’ve absorbed thus far. There was just so much…

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