Tag Archives: sex injuries

Watch A Teenage Girl Try To Explain A Blowjob Gone Wrong To Her Dad On TLC’s “Sex Sent Me To The ER”

Yeah Right!
Watch What Happens When A Blowjob Goes Terribly Wrong On TLC's "Sex Sent Me To The ER"
"It was a really big yawn."

My new favorite TLC show, “Sex Sent Me To The ER,” features awful reenactments of the most cringeworthy sex accidents. It’s almost as good as “Investigation Discovery.” I said ALMOST. This week’s episode features teenage couple Katie and Brent, who ran into trouble when they were rounding third base. It’s the same old story … with a painful twist. Boy sneaks into girl’s bedroom at night. Girl gives boy a blowjob. Girl dislocates her jaw. Boy, scared shitless, jumps out of girl’s window and hurts himself. Dad threatens to dislocate boy’s arm. Boy escapes from hospital. Doctor savagely snaps girl’s jaw back in place. Girl makes up a preposterous story about how the accident REALLY occurred to pacify her angry father. “They were just texting,” and her jaw got stuck like that from a “really big yawn.” Good one, Katie! Check out the denouement after the jump. Keep reading »

We Can Blame Fifty Shades Of Grey For The Rise In Handcuff-Related Injuries

Not Christian Grey
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Further fodder for my irrational dislike of Fifty Shades of Grey: since its release, London firefighters suspect the erotic series is to blame for the increase in handcuff-related emergencies. Since 2010, the London Fire Brigade have come to the aid of 79 people trapped in handcuffs and one man with his penis stuck in the toaster (not related to Fifty Shades of Grey, but I thought you’d find it interesting nonetheless).

“I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up,” said one of the officers.

The brigade is hoping that these stats will encourage people to exercise caution and use more common sense when playing with handcuffs (or toasting their penises). Maybe the Fifty Shades trilogy needs a disclaimer: Don’t try S&M at home unless you possess common sense. [AP[Photo from Shutterstock]

MMA Fighter Ray Elbe Is The New Spokesman For Broken Penises

Keep it safe during sex.

After the news broke that MMA Fighter Ray Elbe’s penis broke (I missed that news seeing as how I’d never heard of Ray before), he felt called to make a video about the incident. He says he wanted to come forward to talk about his traumatic penile fracture so that people could understand the “significance of the emergency” of having a broken dick. (Oh, I think we understand. Even those of us who don’t have them.YIKES.)

After Googling it, Ray discovered that lots of other men break their penis bones and some are too embarrassed to seek help. He doesn’t want anyone to be alone in this nightmare. Now that I know who he is and all the gory, bloody details of his sex injury and have seen him pour his pee from a catheter into a pitcher, I feel much more informed about penis injuries. In Ray’s words, “Keeping it safe during sex isn’t just about wearing a condom.” Noted, Ray. I will take great care next time I “come out the top and down” on a penis. His words, not mine. [Dlisted]

Condom Inhalation, Hickey Paralysis & Neon Ass: Horrifying Sex Injuries You Didn’t Know To Be Afraid Of

Sex can be dangerous. That’s why you must protect yourself — not just against pregnancy and STDs, but also from sex-related injuries. And I’m not talking about your run of the mill penis fractures. A broken wiener will sound like a walk in the park when you hear these stories. Click through to learn about the most horrifying sex injuries you didn’t know you should be afraid of. Safety first!

8 Sex Injuries To Watch Out For (And Enjoy)

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Something no one tells you about sex? A good romp in the sack can be dangerous. No, I’m not talking about potentially deadly sexually transmitted diseases and infections, like HIV. (Although those are dangerous too, obviously.) I’m talking about the rug burn, pulled hair, and the overzealous nipple bite (ow!) that every woman needs to watch out for. And no, a hickey doesn’t count as an “injury.” Keep reading »

You’re Not The Only One With A Cricked Neck And Broken Tea Cup

These are the top 10 injuries, “danger spots,” and “broken items” incurred from having sex according to the UK’s Daily Mail. Ohhh, that explains the tea cups. This is a British “study.” Heh. [The Gloss] Keep reading »

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