I hate admitting that I even have a bucket list in the first place, but I do and there are many things on it, and I hope to eventually cross
all most of them off. While I know “Yoko-ing” a band and becoming the muse for the fashion designer Nicolas Ghesquière, à la Charlotte Gainsbourg, are likely impossible to achieve, there are still some things that I must do before I die – if only to kill the curiosity within and gain some bragging rights. One such item on the aforementioned list is having sex in public. Why? I don’t know. The thrill, maybe; the been there, done that, need to check it off my list, even more so.
Having just recently updated my bucket list to include a public romp (and running the Boston Marathon — haha, I can’t even run a half-mile!), my new husband and I ventured off on our honeymoon. Italy is a country of love, art, and pizza, so what better a place to have sex in public? It’s not like we’d be the first to take a roll in the grass of Boboli Gardens (where we made our first attempt), nor will we be the last to have sex in a dully-lit alleyway against some ancient ruin in Rome.
My husband, already having done the whole public sex thing, wasn’t as enthused as I was. “It’s different when you’re younger,” he said. But that didn’t deter me. After a couple of minor debacles, we pulled it off like champs, well, as close to champions we’re personally able to be, and I can proudly say that my bucket list is one item lighter. Does this make me a pro? Hell no! But from my experience and the experience of some others, I now present the ultimate how-to guide for having sex in public. It’s the summer, you guys; let’s get the most out of this warm weather, shall we? Keep reading »
It happens to the best of us. You’re just having drunk sex in the backseat of a pickup truck in the Waffle House parking lot. Then a cop has to show up and tell you to put some clothes on. Ugh, FINE. So then you grab the nearest thing that looks like one of your Old Navy sandals and try to put it on your feet. But it’s not your Old Navy sandal. It’s warm and slippery and smells like grease. It’s … it’s … a cheeseburger. Perfectly understandable. But then the Loganville, Georgia police have to write about it in their police report when they arrest you for public drunk and loitering charges, and it makes your local Patch.com, and then blogs pick it up, and next thing you know you’re going to get made fun of on “Chelsea Lately.” All for an innocent sandal/cheeseburger misunderstanding that could have happened to anyone having drunk sex in the backseat of a pickup truck in the Waffle House parking lot. Tsk, tsk. [Patchvia The Hairpin] [Image of cheeseburger via Shutterstock]
Well, I suppose the logical conclusion is that the sex was good. So damn good that a Ukranian 41-year-old man and his thirtysomething girlfriend, who were having sex on the train tracks in city of Zaporizhia, failed to notice that a train was approaching and were run over when they didn’t get off the tracks in time. The woman was killed instantly but the man survived, though he lost both legs and will likely be charged with breaking the country’s laws over, like, misusing railroad transit. Authorities say the couple decided to play their own naughty version of choo-choo train in that spot because they “wanted to experience an extreme sensation near the railroad tracks.” Yes, I would say being hit by a train while fucking would result in extreme sensations. Ugh. What a tragically ridiculous tale of the dangers of public sex. [Gawker] [Photo of couple hugging on the train tracks via Shutterstock]
We loved Nick Stahl in the too-short HBO series Carnivale, and man, has that guy had a strange year. He was missing, then found, then missing again. And now, just Thursday evening, he was caught masturbating in a Hollywood adult video store. Cops arrested him and charged him with committing “lewd conduct,” which is a misdemeanor charge, and released him a few hours later. Stahl claims it was all a “misunderstanding.” As in, I misunderstood my dick for a writing utensil? Or, I misunderstood the difference between public and private? Ah, the world may never know.
But Nick is hardly the only celeb who’s ever been caught jerking off in public. Oh no, it’s verily an epidemic! Click through to see who else was found getting a bit too frisky in public.
There are many, many things to love about summer — iced coffee, al fresco dining, going to the beach, another season of “Big Brother” on CBS — not the least of which is having sex in the great outdoors. When the weather is warm and your hormones are all fired up, here are 10 places to get it on outdoors this summer. Keep reading »
I’ve never been afraid to ask for what I want in bed. I guess because during my teenage years I figured out I was/am a perv and I just owned it. But in my decade-plus of hooking up with dudes, I’ve come to see being clear about what I want is a bit rare: Guys have told me other women become self-conscious when asking for something risqué or kinky.
So, I’m going to help you out, boys. Here are some things your lady might want, but she’s too self-conscious to ask for. Don’t pressure anything, of course — but if you offer, you may be pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastically she accepts … Keep reading »
I double-checked my bag: Wallet, bus pass, lip gloss. A bottle of cheap wine. A variety pack of condoms. My favorite vibrator and a pair of handcuffs.
My husband and I were attending our very first sex party and — by God — I wanted us to be prepared.
I wasn’t sure what to expect that evening. My libido levels had been low as of late, and intimacy with my husband was suffering. As someone who often relied upon a vibrator, was I really planning on possibly masturbating in public? Were Michael and I actually going to pull out that set of never-before-used handcuffs in a public setting? Was I going to allow myself to actually feel something? Keep reading »
Last weekend, I was in line to use the bathroom at a bar where there were only two loos. While the bathroom on the right had a steady stream of people moving in and out, whoever was in the bathroom on the left was taking forever. So none of us on line were too surprised when a couple walked out together looking drunk and googly-eyed. Now, I am hardly a puritan about bathroom sex—but if you’re gonna do it, I think it’s only fair to make sure there isn’t a line forming outside, no? Interestingly, I just read about a restaurant in Toronto that is actually encouraging patrons to get it on in their unisex loos… Keep reading »
Men look at sex the way dogs look at bacon: The object is to get as much as possible in any form or by any means before our inevitable deaths.
Some of the more inventive people in our society have come up with a variety of sex acts intended to improve the pleasure of sex. But messing around with sex is like trying to improve the taste of bacon; you can try, but, ultimately, bacon is just good. Some sex simply sounds much better on paper than it turns out to be, often leaving guys wishing they’d just gone with some basic intercourse instead.
Here’s a look at a few sex acts that guys are convinced would be awesome, but in real life turn out to be pretty disappointing. Keep reading »
We told you how to have sex in public, but we didn’t tell you exactly where to go at it. Who can keep track of all the options out in the world? Apparently, Outdoor Lovemap can. If you’re looking for the ideal location to make love alfresco, this interactive map will help you find a spot that has been suggested by people who know from personal experience. How else would you have known about Alaska’s Matanuska Glacier — by asking the locals? So far, Outdoor Lovemap encompasses 20 countries, but perhaps you have a few places you’d like to add to the list. [via Flavorwire] Keep reading »