My new favorite TLC show, “Sex Sent Me To The ER,” features awful reenactments of the most cringeworthy sex accidents. It’s almost as good as “Investigation Discovery.” I said ALMOST. This week’s episode features teenage couple Katie and Brent, who ran into trouble when they were rounding third base. It’s the same old story … with a painful twist. Boy sneaks into girl’s bedroom at night. Girl gives boy a blowjob. Girl dislocates her jaw. Boy, scared shitless, jumps out of girl’s window and hurts himself. Dad threatens to dislocate boy’s arm. Boy escapes from hospital. Doctor savagely snaps girl’s jaw back in place. Girl makes up a preposterous story about how the accident REALLY occurred to pacify her angry father. “They were just texting,” and her jaw got stuck like that from a “really big yawn.” Good one, Katie! Check out the denouement after the jump. Keep reading »
We’ve all done something stupid in the name of sex, usually involving one too many tequila sunrises and men with neck tattoos. But one Australian man puts us all to shame: he shoved a fork up his peehole. Yes, he shoved a piece of cutlery into his urethra. The 70-year-old Canberra man’s escapade was cataloged in a report called “An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body” from the International Journal of Surgery Case Reports. In a ballsy attempt to”achieve sexual gratification,” this elderly fella inserted the four-inch-long fork inside his penis … only to rush himself (or waddle slowly) to the emergency room when he couldn’t get it out. The fork was not visible from the outside, but could be felt by doctors. They were able to replenish his cutlery drawer using forceps and “copious lubrication.” Who knew the urethra could stretch so large! Just keep Grandpa away from the sporks, OK? [Huffington Post; News AU]
It’s only May, but let’s just say, spring has officially sprung! From every corner of the globe, people have been getting freaky in the freakiest ways. Thanks to our equally pervy friends at Fark, we’ve rounded up the 10 strangest close encounters of the sex kind from 2009 so far. From a raccoon who can fend off a rapist, to a soccer player who scored on the field, here the best of the worst humpin’ happenings that’ll truly have you wondering, W-T-F?!
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Sex is gross and weird enough without some total moron winding up in the emergency room. But if there’s one good thing that comes out of all this — it’s not babies, luckily — it’s hilariously awesome stories that make urban legends seem redundant. Here are the eight funniest sex tales of whoa, that don’t come from an O! Keep reading »