We’re taking a break from our regularly scheduled “Sex with Susannah” programming to bring you breaking news from the “everything your mother never told you about sex” front. During the course of writing this column, receiving reader letters, and writing about sex and relationships for The Frisky, it’s come to my attention that there are certain basic sex life facts that it would behoove everyone to know, especially the ladies. Find out what they are after the jump! Keep reading »
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I’m 26 and my boyfriend is 29, and we recently moved in together after dating for about two years. Things are going great except for one thing: my boyfriend watches a lot of porn … at least, it seems like a lot to me. Before we lived together, I knew he looked at porn periodically, but since we moved in together I’m realizing that it’s more frequently than I thought — like, three or four times a week. Lately, he wants to incorporate it as part of our foreplay, watching together before we have sex and then trying out some of the stuff they do in the videos. I’m fine with some if it, but not some of it. I’m worried that since my boyfriend watches so much porn, he’s going to lose interest in me. I guess I’m wondering why, if he loves me and is satisfied with our sex life (like I am), he feels the need to watch so much porn, and does he truly expect me to do all those things he see the porn stars do?
I met the most amazing man four months ago. We recently started to date, and I realized there was no doubt in my mind he is the one. Last night I opened up to him as things got steamy, and he went for a condom. I told him my ex gave me herpes, and we should never have sex without a condom. He froze, put his shirt back on, and told me to leave. I have never been more devastated. I was apprehensive about telling him, but my friends and family assured me that if he cared about me like he really said, he would work around it. I truly love this man and would totally understand if he stopped talking to me completely. All I care about is his happiness and safety. But this whole ordeal has made me think that I will have to settle for someone who will have to settle with me and my disease. Like the true love I feel for this man will never be mine completely or will be ignored because of this horrible infection I have. My self-worth has diminished to nothing, and I fear I will never be able to love or be loved. Please … help. – The Love Struck Statistic
So the guy I’m dating DOES NOT LIKE ORAL SEX. Like, he does not like giving or receiving, and in the month we’ve been dating hasn’t let me go down on him even ONCE. He says it is something he can open up on in a relationship, though it’s just not one of his favorite things on the sexual menu, but that he considers it much more intimate than intercourse so isn’t down to go there yet. Have you ever heard of a guy not liking getting blowies? Is he a total freak? And if not, any ideas on how I can get him comfortable enough to at least give it a go? It feels weird to me to be sleeping with someone and have this whole sexual arena that’s off limits. And, please, oral sex is the best. – Oral-less in Oregon
I am a 25-year-old in my first long-term relationship. We have been dating for nine months, and it is going swimmingly. He is smart, kind, and generous. Here’s the problem: I have zero libido. I mean zero. I don’t want sex, I get no pleasure out of having sex (nor out of masturbation), and I certainly can’t orgasm. However, I WANT to want sex and enjoy it (duh!). This is causing relationship problems — he is frustrated that he can’t get me off, and I am frustrated that I can’t get off (not to mention worried about what the hell is wrong with me). I have never had sexual responses with anyone, including myself, so this definitely isn’t his fault, although he feels like it is. The doctor tells me it’s in my head. The sex therapist tells me that if I haven’t been abused, my problem must not be real (thank god I have not, although I maintain that my problem is real). There are no other sex therapists in my town, and most books seem directed at post-menopausal libido loss. What can I do?! I am frustrated and stressed about this (which I’m sure doesn’t help), but I need help. – Love’s Libido Lost