It’s come down to this. The Final Four. (There’s still time to vote for either Rush Limbaugh or the Pee Drinker, by the way!) And what an interesting matchup this one is: a state that is intent on making sure getting and remaining pregnant are the sole options for sexually active women versus a sex toy for men that mimics the, uh, feeling of having sex with a pregnant woman’s vagina. So, you tell us — which is crazier? Vote now!
Abortion. Marriage equality. Health care reform. There are oh-so-many things that Democrats and Republicans do not agree on. But one thing we can all agree on is that every lady needs a little battery-operated something-something. That’s where Toys In Babeland’s newest toy, the Bipartisan Bunny vibrator, comes in. Priced at $114 and available next week, the Bipartisan Bunny comes in two modes, Red and Blue, which are pre-programmed with different saucy sayings. The Red mode says: “I’ll make you scream louder than a Fox News talk show host,” “A little lower please, and I mean lower than a billionaire’s tax rate,” “Drill, baby, drill,” and “Oh yeah, baby, just like a filibuster.” The Blue mode says: “We can do this together, yes, we can,” “A little more to the left, oh yeah, there, that’s it,” “Orgasms for all,” and “Occupy me.” Let’s forget for a moment that talking vibrators should not become a thing and give thanks to the folks at Babeland for their, uh, bipartisan support. [Toys In Babeland]
Your votes have been tallied. The results are in! In Round One of our Real March Madness, Lindsay Lohan and her Terry Richardson-lovin’ self clobbered Paz De La Huerta (of the Elvis ghost orgasm), while the pregnant woman fleshlight out WTF’d those manties made of beef jerky. Now Lilo and the Knocked Up male masturbator will go at it in Round Two. My God, that sounds wrong. How to compare them? Well, they are both missing a brain. The preggo fleshlight, well, because it doesn’t have a head. And Lilo, because she fried hers. Even though she claims to be sober, we’re not so sure. Who/what is crazier? You tell us! Vote!
Who/What Is The Craziest: Hot Mess Lindsay Lohan Or The Pregnant Fleshlight?
- The Pregnant Fleshlight! (55%, 241 Votes)
- Lindsay Lohan! (45%, 199 Votes)
Total Voters: 438
There are some new WTF sex products on the market, peeps. Woot woot! Question is: Which one will you NOT be bringing into your bedroom this spring? The competition is on. In one corner we have the new My First Knocked Up line of male masturbators. Yes, this fleshlight simulates sex with a pregnant woman, sorry, I mean a headless, limbless pregnant torso. Best of all, they come in different races. Sexxxy. Duking it out FTW are Brief Jerkies, a style of underwear a dude shouldn’t be caught dead in. Made of beef jerky, bedazzled with rhinestones and rumored to mix perfectly with ball sweat to enhance natural male pheromones, these meat haute couture manties are contendahs. So … which sex product is crazier? Cast your vote.
Which Is The Crazier Sex Product?
- Disembodied, pregnant fleshlights are too hot -- and nuts -- for words. (70%, 308 Votes)
- I want to eat those Brief Jerkies off my man. (30%, 130 Votes)
Total Voters: 438
One of the perks of my job at The Frisky is I get sent a lot of vibrators. This is great, as I avidly practice self-love and think every woman needs to have a vibrator. But with so many vibes on the market — seriously, there are tonssssss – how’s a gal to choose? This flowchart should help! Each of these has been tried and tested by yours truly so get ready to get your buzz on! Details on each model and where to buy, after the jump! Keep reading »
Sure, it’s the holiday of “love,” but Valentine’s Day-themed sex toys are just too much. We’re not trying to discourage anyone from getting it on this V-Day, but I think even Cupid wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a Valentine’s Day c**k sock. God bless the Tuggie in all of its many incarnations (I’m looking forward to the Easter Tuggie … I hope it’s a bunny), but it is completely unnecessary for a night of steamy lovemaking. Click through to see some more totally unnecessary V-Day sex toys. Regular ones do the trick just fine. [Sensually Yours] Keep reading »
As mostly heterosexual ladies, we’ve had to fear/admire Fleshlight from afar. The silicone vagina slightly horrified us, especially the ones modeled after adult film actresses. Then again, if we’re here wishing upon a star that vibrators rain from the sky, why shouldn’t men enjoy sex toys, too? It’s only fair. Now the tech blogs Geekosystem and Gizmodo report Fleshlight is developing an iPad attachment to make masturbating to porn on your tablet even easier: it attaches onto the iPad like a regular iPad case, but there’s a fake p**sy attached to the end. Messy is the first word that comes to my mind. Little birds tell me that Fleshlight needs lube to achieve that authentically vaginal feel. I don’t know about dudes, but I keep lube bottled up around my $500 toy. [Gizmodo via Geekosystem]
Keep reading »
One sex toy company wants to service the men and women who serve our country. Adult toy company RealTouch is looking to donate thousands of male masturbator systems to military families. Their award-winning electronic vagina can be hooked up to a computer and synched with the action of one’s favorite porno. But instead of creating a virtual porn, the owners of RealTouch have developed new software that allows the masturbator to synch up with an electronic dildo via the internet. So basically, deployed partners can have e-sex with their S.O.s back home in real time. Sounds rather confusing logistically, but a great idea. RealTouch is still waiting to get the military’s approval. Something tells me that’s going to be difficult. [Digg]
I once spent a 4th of July weekend with about 15 hardcore evangelical Christians. (Ex-Mr. Jessica’s sister was a born-again.) Explaining to some of the women what kind of website I write for proved to be awkward. But when I told one woman that The Frisky was similar to Cosmopolitan magazine, she exclaimed, “Oh, I read that!”
“Really?” I asked. “Isn’t it a little … uh … raunchy?”
She laughed. “Oh, I just flip past all the shirtless guys and stuff about sex.”
Then what part of the magazine do you actually read? I thought to myself.
That conversation popped into my head again when I saw this article on The Daily Beast about religious websites selling sex toys and the horrifying — not being hyperbolic here — opening story about a Christian woman who was married for 25 years before she finally bought a vibrator and had her first orgasm. Praise be! Keep reading »
When I started writing for The Frisky, I had no idea what a Fleshlight even was, which makes sense because I don’t have a penis. I thought they were flashlights used to light the way during oral sex. Oh, the things you learn! Imagine my surprise when I discovered that a Fleshlight is actually an orifice (mouth, vulva, or anus) resembling a flashlight, which is used for male masturbatory purposes. This makes me all the more skeeved out by these My Little Pony branded flashlights, which appear to be the Internet’s idea of a joke. Kids toys and sex toys do not a tasteful mashup make. The poor ponies. They just want to have their hair combed and eat grass out in the backyard. At least, that’s what mine liked to do. How they have been denigrated by the sex toy industry. Click through to see more fleshlights that creep the crap out of us. [Buzzfeed]