I spent most of last week being confused/disturbed by Panty O’s new kegel panties, which allow you to exercise your vaginal muscles while you wear the underwear. I found this frightening, but then I received a press release for the Magic Banana. Never heard of it? I hadn’t either. It’s a flexible accessory for “strengthening your inner magical muscles.” I’m not going to get anymore detailed, but I think you should watch the instructional video. Just do it. It uses the phrase “in the smiling position.” So it’s marketed as a kegel exerciser that is supposed to help you achieve multiple orgasms.
The Magic Banana led me down a kegel wormhole. Pun intended. Let me warn you, most kegel exercise products are pastel and look like Medieval torture devices. But if your vagina’s been slacking off, you might want to check out some of the products available to work the lazy girl out.
Some ingenious ideas from HomemadeSexToys.com about how to get the most out of your sex toys. You know, when you’re not using them for sex. For instance,did you know that butt plugs make wonderful doorstops? Well, now you do. Click through for a few ideas about how to use sex toys around the house. You can check out more here. [Homemade Sex Toys]
I’m pretty sure that the best thing to come out of the nation’s obsession with mommy porn series 50 Shades of Grey is this video of Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb fondling ben wa balls on “The Today Show.” Ben Wa balls, of course, are shoved up inside your vagina to stimulate and encourage greater orgasms. I wonder if Kathie Lee took a set home…
The other day, I clicked on a perfume ad and left the room for a second. When I came back I thought for sure my computer had been redirected to a sex toy site, because wow, the majority of women’s fragrances these days seem to be packaged in a vibrator or hollowed-out dildo. To prove my point, I’ve rounded up 10 of the most egregious offenders–no comment necessary. Click through to see for yourself…
In his new project “Grand Old Party,” NYU graduate student Matthew Epler found a sexier way to visualize the Republican presidential candidates. Using Gallup’s website for data, he determined the width of each toy by approval rating while the height was determined by the length of each campaign. But these aren’t just imaginings. Epler took it a step further and made replicas of the toys out of black silicone. They are available for purchase on his website, provided that you would want to masturbate with them … even ironically. You can see his full line of Republican dildos here including Michelle Bachmann and Rick Perry, who come in butt plugs. Um. Awesome. [The Daily Beast]
A decade ago, my grandmother, then 82, broke her hip. Her recovery involved a month in the hospital while she learned to walk comfortably again, a month that drove my mother, my grandmother’s sole caretaker, to the brink of insanity.
“I can’t go on,” she’d moan. “Calgon, take me away.”
Such was her constant refrain, and this was owing to the fact my grandmother’s behavior while infirm was impossible. Every half-hour my mother fielded a phone call from the hospital: “Bring me my robe! Different hand soap! Scotch tape!” she’d demand.
She’d be angry with a nurse or the limited food selection in the cafeteria, and the constant catering to such needs without nary a please or thank you? It was too much for one woman, my mother, to bear. Keep reading »
For some, the pleasure of returning text messages is one that should be denied. The Textercuff, part handcuff, part thumb gag, is the perfect sex toy for restraining your technology addict from the instant gratification he desires. Deny him the touch of his iPhone, shame him for being too plugged in, make him beg to tap the keys, punish him until he knows who’s the boss of his text messages. Then release his thumb from bondage and let him have at it. I’m dubbing this Kinkology. [Gizmodo]
Sometimes, you open your sex toy drawer and think, I really wish my sex toys weren’t so generic. If only they were more … original, more handmade, more artsy, more a reflection of my individual, sexual expression. Well, Etsy has you covered. Click through to see some crafty adult toys for your one-of-a-kind sex life.
Vibrators as we know them haven’t always existed. Back in the day, women used some crazy (and scary looking) contraptions on their nether regions. Vibrators were originally introduced in the 19th century as a medical tool to treat female hysteria. Doctors would give the women “pelvic massages” until they had orgasms. But they found this course of treatment to be too laborious (oh, poor them), hence the invention of the vibrator. San Francisco’s new Antique Vibrator Museum will feature a special exhibit of antiquated sex devices. Like this “Blood Circulator,” which was popular in the late 1800′s. Operated by a hand crank, the device allegedly cured more than hysteria. It was used to treat pain, deafness, anemia, heart disease, polio, and menstrual cramps. Well, doesn’t that thing look fun … and vaguely like a meat grinder. Click through to see some more of the museums’s craziest collectibles, sure to frighten the crap out of your vagina. [Huffington Post]
I’ve promised my friends that if I ever got to the point when I was single, approaching mid-30′s and out of options that I would try online dating (again). I’ve arrived there, but I’m skittish. Last time I forayed into virtual dating world, I ended up on a date with a guy who was “under federal investigation.” That was enough to put me off for a long time. Lately, a single friend has been doing the online thing and trying to convince me to do the same. On her most recent date, the guy was waiting for her when she emerged from the bathroom … right outside the door. When she declined a make out session, he said he “just really needed to go.” OK. This does nothing to encourage me. The pickings appear to be very SLIM. This leads me to my discovery: There exists an untapped market of available men who are sure to be more fun (and safer) to spend the evening with than a criminal or a bathroom stalker. Who are they, you ask? Where are they? I’ve scoped them out for you, for us. Click through to see the most eligible sex dolls out there.