A decade ago, my grandmother, then 82, broke her hip. Her recovery involved a month in the hospital while she learned to walk comfortably again, a month that drove my mother, my grandmother’s sole caretaker, to the brink of insanity.
“I can’t go on,” she’d moan. “Calgon, take me away.”
Such was her constant refrain, and this was owing to the fact my grandmother’s behavior while infirm was impossible. Every half-hour my mother fielded a phone call from the hospital: “Bring me my robe! Different hand soap! Scotch tape!” she’d demand.
She’d be angry with a nurse or the limited food selection in the cafeteria, and the constant catering to such needs without nary a please or thank you? It was too much for one woman, my mother, to bear. Keep reading »
For some, the pleasure of returning text messages is one that should be denied. The Textercuff, part handcuff, part thumb gag, is the perfect sex toy for restraining your technology addict from the instant gratification he desires. Deny him the touch of his iPhone, shame him for being too plugged in, make him beg to tap the keys, punish him until he knows who’s the boss of his text messages. Then release his thumb from bondage and let him have at it. I’m dubbing this Kinkology. [Gizmodo]
Sometimes, you open your sex toy drawer and think, I really wish my sex toys weren’t so generic. If only they were more … original, more handmade, more artsy, more a reflection of my individual, sexual expression. Well, Etsy has you covered. Click through to see some crafty adult toys for your one-of-a-kind sex life.
Vibrators as we know them haven’t always existed. Back in the day, women used some crazy (and scary looking) contraptions on their nether regions. Vibrators were originally introduced in the 19th century as a medical tool to treat female hysteria. Doctors would give the women “pelvic massages” until they had orgasms. But they found this course of treatment to be too laborious (oh, poor them), hence the invention of the vibrator. San Francisco’s new Antique Vibrator Museum will feature a special exhibit of antiquated sex devices. Like this “Blood Circulator,” which was popular in the late 1800′s. Operated by a hand crank, the device allegedly cured more than hysteria. It was used to treat pain, deafness, anemia, heart disease, polio, and menstrual cramps. Well, doesn’t that thing look fun … and vaguely like a meat grinder. Click through to see some more of the museums’s craziest collectibles, sure to frighten the crap out of your vagina. [Huffington Post]
I’ve promised my friends that if I ever got to the point when I was single, approaching mid-30′s and out of options that I would try online dating (again). I’ve arrived there, but I’m skittish. Last time I forayed into virtual dating world, I ended up on a date with a guy who was “under federal investigation.” That was enough to put me off for a long time. Lately, a single friend has been doing the online thing and trying to convince me to do the same. On her most recent date, the guy was waiting for her when she emerged from the bathroom … right outside the door. When she declined a make out session, he said he “just really needed to go.” OK. This does nothing to encourage me. The pickings appear to be very SLIM. This leads me to my discovery: There exists an untapped market of available men who are sure to be more fun (and safer) to spend the evening with than a criminal or a bathroom stalker. Who are they, you ask? Where are they? I’ve scoped them out for you, for us. Click through to see the most eligible sex dolls out there.
It’s come down to this. The Final Four. (There’s still time to vote for either Rush Limbaugh or the Pee Drinker, by the way!) And what an interesting matchup this one is: a state that is intent on making sure getting and remaining pregnant are the sole options for sexually active women versus a sex toy for men that mimics the, uh, feeling of having sex with a pregnant woman’s vagina. So, you tell us — which is crazier? Vote now!