For all the sex positive writing that I do, I’d never actually talked with someone who worked in the adult entertainment industry for a living. Like a lot of people, I just assumed they all were failed actresses and cokeheads.
That was unfair of me.
Over the summer, I met up with Ryan Keely, an adult film star, Penthouse Pet and Penthouse advice columnist, and an erotic dancer. Ryan, who is originally from Seattle, is as smart as she is beautiful; it’s clear from spending time with her that her heart lies in bringing the joy of sexuality and sensuality to others. Recently, Ryan has been teaching seminars for Porn Star Sex Life, co-founded with Josh Rosenberg, a pick-up artist who created UpYourAttraction.com. I was a little skeptical, too, of Porn Star Sex Life classes. Generally speaking, I think porn gives us stupid role models. The actors and actresses fake great sex and know how to make it look really awesome on screen. Why would we want to emulate that? But Ryan is an approachable educator: she’s had a lot of sex with a lot of partners, both men and women, both onscreen and off, and she is ashamed of nothing. “What it takes to be a porn star is you want to explore your sexuality,” she told me. “The people that are in this industry for the right reasons are people are want to take sex to the next level. We’re sexual athletes.”
I walked away from an afternoon of cake and milk with Ryan thinking, “Damn, I want this girl to be my best friend and I want to sleep with her.” After the jump, Ryan opens up about why missionary is the best sex position for women, her stance on sex positive feminism, why she hates KY Jelly, and her one-woman campaign to bust sexual taboos! Keep reading »
Teens learn about the birds and the bees in high school sex ed — but they’re not, apparently, learning about birth control. A report from the Centers for Disease Control found that 97 percent of teens received sex education by the time they turned 18, but an alarming 30 percent of teens said that contraception education wasn’t a part of their sex ed curriculum. Keep reading »
An open dialogue about sex? That would be much too simple. Instead, the University of Central Florida has created an “Avatar”-like video game “that promotes sexual abstinence,” according to Fox News Orlando. How does it work? A pre-teen girl puts on a “motion capture” suit outfitted with marks which are picked up by infrared light and then simulated on-screen. Then the girl gets propositioned by another avatar. “A boy similar in age might approach the person playing the game and might ask her to make out or there might be some sexual innuendo,” explained UCF Professor Anne Norris of the UCF Institute for Simulation and Training. “They’ll have an opportunity to interact with the avatar and they’ll get points for social skills that they develop.” Which I assume means she says “no” to sex.
And hey, Floridians, the whole shebang will cost you $434,000 in federal tax dollars! Keep reading »
Starting in September, the small, seaside town of Provincetown, Massachusetts, will give a condom
to any student in grades 1 through 12 who asks for one — but only if they listen to a “birds and the bees” talk first. Keep reading »
My first introduction to s-e-x was at the New England Aquarium in Boston when I was in 4th grade. My friends and I were on a Girl Scout trip and let’s just say us Girl Scouts knew about more than just tasty cookies after watching a pair of rock hoppers in the penguin pen. The next year, the health teacher separated the boys into one room and the girls into another room for the big puberty talk. By that point, I had read enough Judy Blume books to understand about menstruation, but fun facts about sexual activity — in humans, of course — were news to me.
I wasn’t the only kiddie who grew up naive about the birds and the bees: the Facebook group, “We bet we can find 100,000 people who were clueless about sex growing up!” has 120 members so far and is growing. After the jump, read a couple funny — er, funny/sad — stories from the sex ed trenches. Keep reading »
Porn: whether you love it, hate it, or feel indifferent, you can’t deny it influences people just like any other form of media. Generally, “Think of the children!” hand-wringing is something I ignore because I think it can get really overblown. But a recent report on how exposure to porn affects young boys is a brash wake-up call that not worrying about their exposure is to their, and our, detriment. Keep reading »
Breaking news! Hooking up won’t lead to ruination, death by AIDS, and a locust plague. A recent study by University of Minnesota School of Public Health found young adults who had casual sex were in a no worse emotional state than ones who had sex in committed relationships.
Researchers spoke to 1,311 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 about their last sexual encounter and found that the one-fifth who last had casual sex and the four-fifths all felt emotionally similar afterward. “We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, an assistant professor at UM. “The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, ‘friends with benefits,’ and hooking up is hurtful. That’s what we’ve been teaching kids for decades.”
Obvi. That’s because conventional wisdom is crap. Keep reading »
Going to the gynecologist is never a pleasant experience, but most responsible women suck it up at least once a year to have an annual pap smear. The new pap smear recommendations say women should delay getting their first test until they’re 21, regardless of whether they’re sexually active. But for some women, the pap and fear of developing cervical cancer were the only reasons they went to the doctor in the first place, and once they were in the stirrups, their doctor could examine them for signs of STDs. The new pap guidelines mean a whole generation, mainly teens, will be unlikely to get tested for STDs and STIs as they begin having sex. Black teens are especially at risk; find out why after the jump. Keep reading »