“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay and gay is better.’ They tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people, it’s not, but for me, it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not. … Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and I didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”
– Cynthia Nixon from “Sex and the City” explained her midlife change to lesbianism in this weekend’s New York Times Magazine. Cynthia had been in a relationship with a man for years, with whom she had two children, and after they split, she got into a relationship with a woman, with whom she has had another child through the help of a sperm donor. I guess I don’t understand why people are so obsessed with putting labels on other people’s sex lives (and yes, I am thinking back to the Girl Talk essay we ran recently about a lesbian who enjoys sex with men). Sexuality is a spectrum and it’s complicated and it’s never going to fit into neat and tidy little boxes; people who obsess about who gets to call themselves what are just wasting everyone’s time. I also love what Cynthia said about not letting other people try to “define my gayness for me.” She’s so smart, strong, kickass and awesome. Cynthia Nixon is the kind of celebrity that you wish celebrities in general were more like. [NY Times Magazine]
