On the most recent webisode of NonSociety’s “TMI Weekly”—that’s the internet TV show from ego blogger/“dating expert” Julia Allison and her posse—things got a little weepy. The gals—Julia, Mary, and Meghan—were discussing crying during/after sex and how doing so is “all good, but never fun to deal with.” Julia, who says she’s cried after sex with every guy she’s been in love with at least once, thinks shedding post-coital tears is a good thing because it “signifies an intensity of emotion that you just don’t normally experience” and usually occurs during “the best sex ever.” Meghan disagrees, saying that it could actually signify that the sex was really, really bad. Mary says she’s only cried once during a hookup and that was when a guy she was dating went down on her and finally made her come. I’ll spare you the torture of posting the full episode here, but I cannot resist the topic itself. Crying after sex, really? That’s normal?

In “How Not to Make Love Like a Porn Star,” Salon’s Mary Elizabeth Williams sort of suggests that watching too much porn makes you bad in bed. Supposedly, the increasingly widespread availability of adult movies has turned men into a squad of jack-hammering hump machines: “porn has changed men too—what we expect of them, what they demand of themselves.” According to Williams, the modern man has learned from porn that sex is a performance, one featuring freaky sex tricks and little emotional connection. Of course, men are not alone in this indictment. Williams suggests today’s women are behaving like wannabe porn starlets in the sack, too. We’re all porn stars now! Thankfully, Williams is here to remind: “Life’s not like the movies.” Really? Gee, thanks! Maybe the problem isn’t porn, but critics who believe consumers can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality. It’s not the porn. It’s how you see it. [Salon]

The moment has finally come. After getting your required amount of gallantry and booze, you’re going home with the new guy. But what will his place look like? We all spend the most at-home time in the bedroom, especially on that sexy sorta night. So, just like his underwear style, his sheet set can be really telling. Is your man a full-fledged flannel softie, an Egyptian cotton king, or perhaps even a bold bed-in-a-bag kind of guy? Find out how he’s exposing himself, before you even take off his pants.

Oral sex, we all love to receive it. But some peeps have a harder time giving:

I have what I feel is an embarrassing situation. I am in a long term, steady relationship with my boyfriend, and, in general, things are great. There is only one little problem in our sex life ... he goes down on me, he loves it, I love it, and life is great, but I cannot seem to do the same for him. I am so embarrassed and I don’t know what to do! I gag or feel nauseous every time I try. He says it’s not a big deal, but I know it’s something he wants and something I want to be able to give him. Is there any way for me to get over what seems like a weird, childish type of response?  If not, will he hold it against me, or do you think he means it when he says it’s not a big deal?

There are few human interactions that are as ripe for embarrassment as sex. Think about it—all those juices flowing, body spasms, and orifices opening. If it weren’t for the sheer ecstasy of an orgasm and the fact that we have to continue our species, we probably wouldn’t bother.

We all have hot buttons that love to get pushed. Like watching a good movie your new beau picked out, a new sexual partner has the potential to show you something that you love, that you never would have found on your own. Of course, we all agree, getting naked heats things up, but there’s more to sex than bodies. Your brain is your biggest erogenous zone, and there are plenty of folks with creative minds who take their sexy time to places of desire where other people would never dare to go. So, without further adieu, to inspire you, here are seven surprising fetishes you probably haven’t already come up with on your own ... or have you?

Just like women, men can woo with their extra skills. Dudes can do things that’ll make any woman weak in the knees, even out of the bedroom. So gents, if you want our attention, here are some ways you can make your spare time sexy.

I’ve recently started dating a super smart, weird, quirky, cute, funny and beautiful girl. I never like anyone, but I like her. There’s one minor (hairy) issue. She doesn’t keep things very trimmed down there. Now, before you get angry, let me preface this by saying that I really don’t need a Brazilian on my girl (or even anything really from the South American continent, for that matter)—just a nice landing strip. Is that too much to ask for? Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, so I do keep my things regularly trimmed. We’ve only been dating for a month or so, but we’ve spent a lot of time together (it’s a long distance thing, so we’ve basically spent the past few weekends totally together = relationship time warp), so I feel as if this isn’t jumping the gun or anything to think about long term personal grooming habits. am I being a superficial douche? Isn’t it fair to ask for some quid pro quo trimming? I think yes. If you agree, my ultimate question is: how do I broach the trimming subject with my long distance girl? What strategies do you have? — Hair Hater

“I’ve never even kissed a woman,” Adam said. One of my best friends on the planet, Adam was unequivocally gay—the kind of caricature personality who lisped, wore pink, plucked his eyebrows, flicked his wrists, and decorated his apartment in rainbows. He was my first call when a guy I was dating was being a jerk, the one who was always up for an impromptu shopping mission or who’d dance with me until the wee hours of the night at an ‘80s club. Technically, he was everything I’d want in a boyfriend: smart, funny, kind and gorgeous—too gorgeous to be straight, as the saying goes. But since he was gay, I barely noticed.

But as he said those words, our faces were inches apart and we were locked in that trance-like pull of an inevitable kiss. We were at a party, dancing to New Order. And soon our lips locked and we were full-on making out. As I felt his hands squeeze my butt, I backed up and stared at him. “You’re an amazing kisser,” he said, with a wink.

Next thing I knew, we were back at my place.

Our boys at Asylum have created the handy “10 Things You Should Never Tweet After Sex” guide. Their post-coital Twitter no-nos include “LOL, looks like the condom slipped off, hope she didn’t notice,” “Not as good as her mom, but not bad,” and “It’s confirmed, I’m definitely gay.” Here are 10 tweets the ladies should avoid after doing the horizontal mambo.

We’re not going to lie. Women are a fickle sort. When it comes to sex, some women like this, some women like that, and some women don’t know what the hell they want. One thing we are sure of, though, is if you’re bad in bed—at least, in our opinion. Maybe it’s us. Maybe it’s you. But if the sparks aren’t flying when we’re banging uglies, it could be because we think you don’t have what it takes in the bedroom. What’s up with that? Find out the top five reasons we think you don’t cut it, after the jump.

On my recent vacay, I learned a valuable new skill that makes me pity any man that had sex with me before. Why? Because, after many failed grade-school sleepover party attempts, I can now, finally, hula hoop. And since I have mastered the fine art of keeping it up, er, the hoop I mean, with my new and improved hip swivel, I know my next boyfriend is going to be an extra lucky man. But as the weather gets too cold to use hula hooping in a bikini as a stud magnet, we girls have to get creative. Despite the chill, here’s how you can warm things up in your love life with hobbies that’ll show dudes you knock boots better than anyone else.

In July, we learned about the woman with the world’s strongest vagina. Tatiana Kozhevnikova spent 15 years strengthening her lady parts with custom-made glass balls and worked her way up to lifting 31 lbs.

The practice of strengthening your hoo-ha by putting a ball up there isn’t new, though it’s not something we hear much about these days. Apparently, these exercises go back to ancient China, when the queen and concubines were taught how to do them in the Royal Palace so they would please the king while making love.

This week, I got a letter from a lady who has an itch she’s been meaning to get scratched. She just can’t quite seem to reach it.

I have a dilemma and am looking for some advice.  I’m 28 years old and still a virgin.  It isn’t something that I planned, and I find it a bit embarrassing.  I dated the same guy all through college, but at first I just wasn’t ready yet.  Even once I personally was ready, I knew that having my first time be with him wasn’t probably the best idea. (We were complicated, angsty, and breaking up/getting back together all the time, and I felt like having sex with him would just complicate things further.)  I dated a guy for quite a while after college whom I wanted to sleep with.  We had great chemistry, and plus I was really ready by then.  He told me he didn’t want to because he “didn’t want to be the jerk who took it from me,” and eventually he cheated on me.  It took a little while to recover from that, and I didn’t even date for a while.

A letter in this week’s Time Out New York’s sex column, Get Naked, reminded me that sometimes it’s the simplest things that can boggle a mind. A woman writes to columnist Jamie Bufalino:

I like dry sex with my husband, but it only happens a few times per month. I assume hormones are at work, but is there anything I can do to sustain this? Dehydration? I just feel so much more when everything is dry and not ruined by wetness.

At first, I thought, Oh, she likes dry humping with her husband ... like they’re a couple of teenagers ... that’s kinda cute, I guess ... But I continued reading and realized, Oh she means actual dry sex, like with a dry vagina. Um, ew! I’ve never heard of this, have you? I mean, as far as fetishes or sexual preferences, or whatever, go, it’s decidedly tame, but, still, a dry vagina? Really? I mean, wouldn’t that feel ... horrible? Bufalino isn’t even a woman and he thinks so — his response to the letter writer after the jump.

Thanks to BuzzFeed for reminding me of something totally ridiculous that I noticed in the most recent issue of Cosmopolitan. We’ve already warned you about five sexual tips courtesy of the lady rag that you should absolutely not follow, but, oh, there are so many more. Take the “fun little trick guys love” suggested in the article above. “Use your thong as a hair tie!” Um, what? Why? When? Do not understand! But maybe dudes DO like this weird little move? I asked some guys for their gut response to this suggestion. Their responses, after the jump ...

Most guys look at Cosmopolitan magazine the same way that women tend to look at Maxim—as a ridiculous, over-the-top, hyperbole-filled look at sex that has no bearing on actual real-life relationships.

Yet, men still read Maxim (or look at it and grunt), and women still revel in Cosmo‘s softcore porn-filled pages. But while many of Cosmo‘s columns are relatively harmless, the “Things to Try In Bed” features are occasionally so far off track that they threaten to ruin relationships and mental health.

From a guy’s perspective, here’s a look at a few of Cosmo‘s most insane, useless sexual tips and why you should never try them, after the jump.

This week I got a letter from a lady who’s got the rack but is missing some spice. She wrote:

I have been with my boyfriend for about seven months and it’s been going really well. 
However he keeps mentioning how much he likes/misses having “make-up sex,” and I just don’t know what to do.
 We just have never fought … in fact, I’m not much of a fighter and have never had “make-up sex” in my life. If something upsets me, sex is really the last thing I want to do with that person. 
It’s clearly something he really enjoys, and as nice as it is that we don’t have epic fights, I feel we are missing out on something. 
I have talked it through with him and he says that he doesn’t care, that it’s nice not to be arguing. But I can tell that it’s something he really misses from previous relationships. 
I have even tried picking fights, when I haven’t been annoyed at all, to try and get it going! (That’s hasn’t worked.) Please give me some suggestions!