Tag Archives: semen

Perv Pleads Guilty To Handing Out Semen-Tainted Yogurt

Tainted Yogurt
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Woman claims yogurt sample "tasted like body fluids." Read More »
Semen 101
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Everything you need to know about man's precious nectar. Read More »
Horse Semen, Anyone?
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You don't even want to know. Read More »
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Anthony Garcia of Albuquerque, New Mexico, plead guilty on Thursday to handing out yogurt samples at Sunflower Market in January with an extra-special ingredient. Extra-extra special, if you know what I mean. Keep reading »

Horse Semen, Anyone?

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Holhoi tattea shots are all the rage at the Green Man Pub in New Zealand. For a mere $25 per shot glass, ladies are coming in droves to throw them back like champs. So what is holhoi tattea you ask? Oh, it’s just apple-flavored horse semen which supposedly tastes a little bit “like custard.” (Hold on. I have to vomit real quick. OK I’m back.) If you are chomping at the bit to try a shot of holhoi tattea, you’d better giddy up. The special semen shots are only available until Sunday as part of a Wild Food Challenge. Yeah, that’s wild alright. File this under things that too closely resemble bestiality. [Oddity Central] Keep reading »

Come And Get These Sperm Jeans!

One of my biggest fashion pet peeves are what Stacy London and Clinton Kelly of “What Not to Wear” call “fancy jeans.” That’s any pair of jeans that are bedazzled, painted, embellished, or appliqued in any way. I find “fancy jeans” offensive. But these “cum wad pants” take “fancy” to a whole new level. WHO and WHY? [The Clearly Dope] Keep reading »

Update: Did The Yogurt Come Back Positive For Semen?

Oh thank god. There’s been an update in the case of the yogurt that tastes like semen. A couple weeks ago, I told you about the 28-year-old Albuquerque woman who said the yogurt sample she was given at her local grocery store tasted like “bodily fluids.” In fact, in her statement to police she said, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset. [The manager Catherine Flores] told me it was a Greek yogurt. People love it, it has lot of protein on it.” Ahem. Police arrested Anthony Garcia, 31, the supermarket worker who gave the woman the yogurt, because he had outstanding bench warrants, and sent the yogurt to the lab for testing. Well the results are in! And it seems that the woman’s discerning palette was correct! The yogurt did indeed contain semen, and though Garcia maintains his innocence, a judge issued a warrant for DNA and blood samples to make sure he doesn’t have any diseases. [The Smoking Gun] Keep reading »

Woman Claims Yogurt Sample Tasted Like Semen

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Hello. Are you eating? Maybe stop for a second. Especially if you are eating yogurt. So, a woman in Albuquerque, New Mexico, called the police because she said a yogurt sample she was given at her local grocery store “tasted like bodily fluids” aka semen. Police arrested Sunflower Market employee Anthony Garcia, 31, on outstanding bench warrants, but are currently conducting lab tests on the yogurt in question to find out if it does indeed contain ejaculate — or just tastes like it. Speaking of… Keep reading »

Nude Photo Leaked Of Ke$ha Covered In, Um, Masculine Essence

Satisfied with the devil’s handiwork he accomplished with poor Miley, Perez Hilton has moved on to his next victim: Ke$ha. Perez just posted a nude photo of Ke$ha allegedly covered in, shall we say, ambrosia of man. I took out my spectacles and I don’t see a single thing on her: She just looks like her usual self, lying back and looking crunked. (We can’t/won’t link to the photo since, duh, we hate him. Also, we are using that blue-haired photo of him in perpetuity.)

Leave it to Perez and his super-sperm-eyes that can sense DNA on nubile young pop stars. (P.S. Thanks, John DeVore, for the dirty euphemisms!) Keep reading »

Want To Meet The Love Of Your Life And Get Pregnant? Here’s How.

This video? It blew my mind. So to speak! Seriously, though. Three women — Carey Goldberg, Beth Jones, and Pamela Ferdinand — find themselves “of a certain age,” childless, and partner-less. Finally, one decides she’s tired of waiting around for Mr. Right. So, she orders herself some sperm from the sperm bank. Right when the order shows up, BAM, she meets a guy and gets pregnant. But then her friend is partner-less and childless. So, the first woman decides to give the second woman her sperm. Before the second woman can use it, BAM, she meets a guy and gets pregnant. But then there’s their third friend, who’s partner-less and childless. So, the second woman gives the third woman the sperm, and — well, you can probably guess the rest. So many happy endings, they wrote a book about it: Three Wishes: A True Story of Good Friends, Crushing Heartbreak, and Astonishing Luck on Our Way to Love and Motherhood. Who’s the dude with the super-sperm? Inquiring minds want to know. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Semen 101

Thanks to BuzzFeed for providing us with more information than we ever needed to know about sperm, in handy infographic format. Some nuggets of info we’ve gleaned: a serving size (one teaspoon) contains 20 calories and the average speed of ejaculation is 31 miles per hour. Learn lots more after the jump. Keep reading »

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