I wouldn’t know if I could tan naturally because I’ve never actually tried. Aside from the fact that, you know, the sun wants to give you cancer and shit, I’m just not someone who has ever liked to bask outside and broil. My brother and I, unlike our medium-skinned parents and the rest of our family on both sides, are both super-fair, easily burnt freckle faces. We often wonder whose children we actually are (in fact, we both bear a slight resemblance to Guy Fieri). In summers of yore I’ve been totally content with my bright white (seriously, I am the whitest) complexion, but I think I’m on the brink of a change of heart. Frightened by the starkness of my legs, and sporting a subtle, summery ombré fade in my hair, I am ready to join the rest of the world and get a tan. Not a real tan, of course — I still hate laying outside. It’s so boring. Whatever! Problem is, I can’t seem to find the right self-tanner for my skin tone. I figured Jergens Natural Glow was a safe place to start, but the incredibly overwhelming smell put me off after applying it twice. Seriously, I wanted to run away from myself. Keep reading »
