We all want to be successful, but things like tyrannical bosses, stapler-stealing co-workers and the statistical impossibility of every single person being a CEO keep bringing us down. So we try to balance the scales by following the advice of self-help books or motivational guides — sure, a lot of those things are probably bullshit, but it can’t hurt to give them a try, right?
Actually, yes. Yes, it can hurt, because several of the “tips” that you’d expect to help you are actually messing you up. It turns out you’re not a success because you do things like … Read more…
I work from home, so I spend a lot of time alone. Eight hours a day, actually, and often more than that. I miss having coworkers (especially because my Frisky coworkers are so freakin’ awesome), but my ADD makes it really hard to get anything–especially writing–done anywhere other than a totally controlled, calm environment. When I tell people about my work schedule, they usually say something like, “I can’t believe you spend all day alone. I would go crazy.”
“Thank you,” I say stoically. “It’s hard sometimes, but it’s really good for me.” And then I go back to debating the finer points of gun control with my quesadilla.
Spending so much time alone led me to the logical conclusion that I’m pretty good at being alone. I mean, not everyone can work all by themselves day after day, right? I figured that made me some kind of professional loner. But recently I realized that maybe there’s more to this whole “being alone” thing than the hours you put into it, and maybe I’m still learning how to truly be alone. Keep reading »
Self help books get a bad rap sometimes, I think. They’re seen as the province of walking, talking “Cathy” cartoons and hippie-dippie-fruit-loop types. That couldn’t be less true: there are many different types of self-help books for all kinds of problems. Some books are more spiritual while others are more practical, as in teaching you techniques of coping with depression and anxiety. Not only is a good self-help book cheaper than paying for therapy — even if it’s just a co-pay!— but you can circle sections, fold over pages, and come back to them whenever you read.
I scoured my own bookshelf and that of The Frisky staff to find the best self-help books we’ve ever read — ones that actually work!
This piece is part of The Frisky’s How To Deal Week, in which we’re tackling mental health issues.
Last week, I wrote an “Open Letter to Mayor Bloomberg,” informing him he had no right to tell me how much Coca-Cola I am allowed to consume. After many comments about me sounding like “a high school drama queen” and telling me to “calm down,” I felt very discouraged, and even doubtful about my writing in general.
While I did get a few positive reviews, I soon realized that many commenters did not understand the tongue-in-cheek tone I tried to embody, and I decided to carefully read through each comment in effort to learn from what everyone had to say, even the nastier toned ones. Even if you don’t write on the internet and don’t regularly have strangers critiquing your words, we all face criticism of some sort on a daily basis — here’s how I learned to get the most out of it. Keep reading »
Last week, I gave the thumbs-up to a piece I had read on Dumb Little Man that advised would-be-lovers to make people love them by making them take care of them. I’ve changed my mind. Sure, it sounds nice in a fairy tale, when this advice may have made sense, but it’s 2008! So I said, “…the exhausting trials of getting a man to love you warrants the easy use of a little Psych 101″ but then I realized that relying on a man for help, and him relying on you to want help from him is vaguely “co-dependent”.
Every time a girl goes bossing her boyfriend around, coddling him into helping her when she’s perfectly capable herself, Elizabeth Cady Stanton rolls around in her grave. So, if you want a dog, go to the pound, don’t make your boyfriend your bitch. Being a damsel in distress is lame and transparent and in the end, being that kind of girl only makes you and your man look bad, feel bad, and act bad(ly). We ladies have ourselves and that is all we were given because that’s all we need to get by. Start realizing all the things you’ve gotten done right by relying on yourself and you’ll attract the right kind of man naturally. And when he finds you, open a pickle jar for him instead! Keep reading »