Tag Archives: self esteem

Girl Talk: On Hearing Men Talk About Women’s Bodies

10 Ways To Love Your Body
Summer's the perfect time to show your bod some love! Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Girls
Why Kate's always checking them out. Read More »
Relationships & Body Image
How does your love life affect your body image? Read More »

I was on the train, heading back to NYC from New Jersey and there were three guys sitting behind me. They were talking about life. Which meant that they were mostly talking about girls.

“Sometimes some girls ask me if I have an ideal woman,” said the guy with the deep, commanding baritone, his voice carrying over the crackling of a broken ceiling speaker. He paused for dramatic effect.“I can give you measurements.”

The other guys chuckled, low and a little menacing.

Deep Voice didn’t leave his bros wondering. “34 C,” he said. “Definitely 34 C…” Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: 11 Better Beauty Rules

Mirror, Mirror: Girls
Why Kate's always checking them out. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Carbs
Is Kate the only person who still eats carbs? Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Bra
Why Kate's ditching her padded bra. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I have this giant list of beauty rules stuck in my head. It was implanted there when I was just a little girl, and although a lot of the work was done by this really popular girl in my 6th grade Hebrew School class, American Culture also contributed plenty.

Don’t wear short skirts unless you have long legs. Don’t wear horizontal stripes, you’ll look wider. Wear black, it’s slimming. Don’t wear long dresses unless you have long legs. Moisturize or you’ll get wrinkles. Don’t wear red lipstick if you’re too pale. Stay out of the sun. Get a tan. Don’t wear something low cut unless you have cleavage (you’ll look like a boy in a dress)/ don’t wear something low cut if you have cleavage (you’ll look trashy). Don’t wear anything anyone might consider sexy to work. Don’t wear heels if you’re too tall. Don’t wear flats if you’re too short. Don’t eat too much cake. If your nose is too big, you’re screwed. If you have short legs, your life will be sadder than it might have been.

On and on and on and on forever.

I want to write some new rules. I want to write a whole book of new rules. Maybe an encyclopedia set. But I have to start somewhere, so: Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: I’m Always Checking Out Other Women

Mirror, Mirror: Carbs
Is Kate the only person who still eats carbs? Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Bra
Why Kate's ditching her padded bra. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Skinny
Kate used to be known as the skinny girl. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I am always checking out other women. I can’t help it. They look good. It’s not a secret. They look better than men.

Women wear bright, interesting colors in creative combinations. They wear catchy jewelry and have fantastic, innovative hair. They do bold, playful things with makeup. They have cool shoes. They stand out. So I want to look at them. And then I feel awkward, because maybe I’m being weird. Maybe I’m just as bad as the annoying guys who are always staring hungrily at young women on the F train, when those women are just trying to read their damn book, thank you very much.

I feel just like a gross guy, because it seems like one gaze isn’t that much different than the other. And I don’t know what the rules really are. Or what they should be, for straight women checking out other women. Keep reading »

Panty Power: How Pretty Underwear Can Boost Body Image

Two weeks ago, I went for a bra fitting. Having been told by dozens of style experts that 137 percent of women wear the wrong bra size, I fully expected to be told that my 34C was FAR too small/big/narrow/high/thick/whatever for my frame. Miraculously, the lingerie shop owner confirmed that I was already wearing the correct size. I will admit to feeling slightly smug about this.

My smugness dissipated as she began to show me a dazzling assortment of silky, frilly, and coyly transparent bras in every style and shape imaginable. I’d worn my one cute bra to the fitting: A satin leopard print that fit beautifully, but featured thick straps and strangely stodgy detailing. Somehow, just glimpsing the universe of beautiful underthings that I’d been studiously ignoring for the past 20 years made me feel anxious. Virtually all of my friends wore and adored gorgeous lingerie, but I’d dismissed it as a frivolous expense and focused on flattering but practical underthings for myself. Yet as I discussed the physics of bras with the owner — learning about underwire placement, the importance of band fitting, and how different styles would achieve different silhouettes — I knew I needed to formulate a plan. A panty plan. Read more…

Girl Talk: On Summer Clothes And Body Image

10 Ways To Love Your Body
Summer's the perfect time to show your bod some love! Read More »
Relationships & Body Image
How does your love life affect your body image? Read More »
Kinder To Yourself
Eight ways to be kinder to yourself. Read More »

If you were to ask me about my favorite season, fashion-wise, I would always say fall. I would tell you how much I love the deep colors, the sumptuous layers, and the rich textures of wool, leather, and tweed. I love getting dressed up in glamorous coats and take-no-prisoners knee-high boots. I love seeing the new trends come down the runways. There is one thing I love about fall clothes, though, that I might not tell you: I love that they cover me up. Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: Am I The Only Person Who Eats Carbs?

Bye Bye Bra!
Kate is ditching her padded bra. Read More »
Sex For Salad?
No way! Here are some things we would actually give up sex for. Read More »
Sayonara Skinny Girl
Kate used to be known as the skinny girl. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I am the only person in my family who eats carbs. I am a rebel. But I am not able to be self-righteous about it because I might be killing myself with sugar. I don’t want to die! But these doughnuts are so friggin’ good. Am I just weak-willed and gross? Or is it possibly a little bit OK to eat some junk food once in a while? Or, you know, the occasional carb.

My whole family is not only mostly composed of type one diabetics, but also, everyone is obsessed with health. All the time. Everyone is passing around these 500-page books called Sugar: The Mass Murderer and Why You Will Die From Eating That Thing You’re Eating Right Now.

I grew up eating all organic. We lived in a rural area and my mom grew all of our vegetables. The rest of our food came by truck, frozen, from a distant, organic coop. As a kid, I thought pasta was made from artichokes. OUR pasta was, anyway.

Type one diabetes, in case anyone was wondering, is the kind that doesn’t have anything to do with what you ate first. It’s a chronic illness that you have to take insulin shots every day for, and it really, really sucks. Not eating carbs makes it a lot easier to regulate your blood sugar, which is really important. So my dad and my youngest brother and my husband and my husband’s mom all don’t eat carbs. Because that’s how many diabetics there are in my life. Keep reading »

Where’s The Dislike Button? Social Media Is Ruining Our Lives

Addicted to Facebook?
Answer these 6 questions to find out! Read More »
FB Friend Dealbreakers
These infractions will get you unfriended. Read More »
Facebook On The Frisky
Everything The Frisky has ever written about Facebook! Read More »

Pretty much every day a new study comes out affirming what we already know: Facebook is turning us into quivering piles of insecurity who can barely muster the emotional strength to hit the “share” button on the latest version of the “Ermahgerd” meme. The latest findings come courtesy of the UK’s University of Salford, where researchers polled 298 social media users, half of which indicated that their use of social media negatively impacts their life. Respondents described dips in self-esteem after comparing themselves to their online friends, feelings of anxiety when they were unable to log on to social media sites, and trouble sleeping after spending time in their online social world. Intense huh? This study has a fairly small sample size, but still, it underscores the fact that we’re constantly connecting with people online, and constantly comparing ourselves to others’ online personas–it’s a recipe for a self-esteem disaster. Hopefully there’s a way to maintain a healthy self image in this crazy new world we live in. Have you ever experienced social media anxiety? [Mashable]

Mirror, Mirror: Ditching My Padded Bra

Small Boobs Rule!
10 reasons to love small boobies. Read More »
Mirror, Mirror: Skinny
Kate used to be known as the skinny girl. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

A funny thing happened in the heat. I briefly forgot about my breasts.

Which you’d think would be an easy thing to do, considering how small they are. But it isn’t, because I’ve been busy trying to make sure I look like a real woman and stuff. It goes like this: My padded bra is like a wig on a bald person. I only appear to have long, lustrous hair when, in fact, this is all a clever trick. I only appear to have long, lustrous boobs …or, you know, just boobs.

My padded bra makes me feel comfortable, normal. It’s a disguise. I can blend into any crowd when I’m wearing it. People who glance at me won’t give me a second thought. “Oh, just another woman with some boobs.”

But it’s a lie! When I take the very padded bra off, there’s a different story underneath. A story about some very small breasts. Breasts that, for whatever reason, decided they were done before they hit the “done” stage (stage 5 in the What’s Happening To My Body? Book For Girls). That book convinced me that there was hope when there wasn’t any. Just one more stage, and they’d fill out pleasantly. They’d be little adorable balloons, perched on my chest, soft and proud and round. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m A Nervous Nude

Reasons To Be Naked
You should be naked more often. Read More »
Getting Naked In Class
Why this woman got naked in class. Read More »
On Sleeping Naked
sleeping naked photo
Jessica cannot sleep naked, despite many valiant attempts. Read More »

Writing about body love and acceptance? That’s my jam. Teaching women to embrace their supposed “flaws,” accept that physical beauty comes in infinite forms, and learn to love their own bodies just as they are? My life’s quest. So it is with great trepidation that I reveal the following: I really dislike being naked. I mean, if there’s gonna be a roll in the hay, that’s one thing, but hanging out in the locker room? Sleeping? Just about anywhere except the bathtub? I’d rather have a bare minimum of knickers and a bra. Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: What If Someone Calls Me Ugly?

Mirror, Mirror: Skinny Girl
Kate used to be known as the skinny girl. Read More »
Bikini Fears
We freak out over too many things each swimsuit season. Read More »
My Nose Job
One writer talks about getting a nose job. Read More »

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other Thursday on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I finally saw “Snow White and the Huntsman.” With two guys. They were like, “Sweet.” I, on the other hand, was tormented by the symbolism. Because I’m cool like that. Because I over think everything. I wanted Snow White to talk more—to seize the day. Instead, Kristen Stewart mostly looked frail and concerned. She kept opening her mouth a little, but then it turns out that’s just because she looks sexy in a helpless way when she opens her mouth a little.

You probably could have guessed: The whole deal with the Snow White story, no matter how many evil crows and broad-shouldered huntsmen you add to it, is that beauty is power. In case you grew up without watching any Disney movies (like me, I had a weird childhood), and then continued to never watch any because you were really busy, the Snow White story is about an evil woman who is desperate to hold on to her beauty and an innocent girl who is more beautiful than her no matter what.

Spoiler alert: The most beautiful girl wins.

Keep reading »

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