Know-it-all alpha dudes without a care in the world are great and all, but who doesn’t love that their neurotic sidekick just as much? TV and movies are full of lovable, mildly troubled neurotic souls who spend their days worrying, analyzing and questioning every event — and I have a major crush on them. The traits that make these guys so quirky also make them thoughtful and loving, right? Not all of them are the perfect boyfriend material I wish they were, as exhibited by their many failed onscreen relationships, but a girl can dream, can’t she? Here are 12 neurotic characters I’m totally into.
The macabre Tumblr Jerry Seinfeld’s Skeleton uses a sandbox game called Garry’s Mod to recreate the greatest moments of “Seinfeld” – performed only by Jerry’s digital skeleton. The site’s creator, Bryce Maciel, goes through “Seinfeld” screenshots to make sure the skeletons are posed exactly like Jerry is onscreen. It’s unclear what makes this creepy site so enticing (besides the glory of reliving the Soup Nazi debacle), but for some reason, I’m terrified and still can’t stop staring. With almost 10,000 follows, other “Seinfeld” fans seem to agree. After the jump, a few of Jerry’s skeleton-style one-liners. Spooky.
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“I wasn’t getting much work before the incident, which was one of the reasons I was ding-donging around in those clubs late at night, unannounced — coming in and working on material. I thought I would try to reinvent myself. … What happened in the club? Oh, that’ll never happen again. I know how to behave, to consciously behave. When something like that comes up, I don’t let the heat of anger burn me up as it did. When you’re under the helm of anger, watch out, ’cause it’ll take you down. It’s like being possessed by a demon. [I was angry] at the act, angry that it wasn’t funny, angry that I was being interrupted, angry that I’m not as good as I would like to be. You know, I was frustrated that night, and so I turned on everybody.”
Remember back in 2006 when the actor who played Kramer on “Seinfeld” was doing standup in a club and he got mad at a heckler and started screaming the N-word? Well, Michael Richards is headed back to TV on Kirstie Alley’s new sitcom and he’s spoken with TIME magazine about the incident. It is actually one of the most honest apologies that a celebrity has ever given for bad behavior. He also said that after the incident, he took a break from show business to do personal work on himself and reconnect with his family and that helped him stop being a douchebag. It doesn’t excuse the harm Richards caused, of course. But it does illuminate how people who are unkind act out in racist or homophobic or sexist ways because have huuuuge underlying issues. Are you listening, Alec Baldwin? [TIME via Gossip Cop]
Adding a laugh track can make just about anything better. Witness how the ’70s horror classic “The Shining” is transformed into a total comedy fest with the addition of the “Seinfeld” theme song and a friggin’ laugh track. It almost, almost makes Jack Nicholson seem like a kitten. Okay, not really. [YouTube]
As hard as I tried to write something original about this outfit Gwen Stefani wore to the Vogue CFDA Fashion Fund show, I finally realized that like so many situations in life, it’s best summed up by a “Seinfeld” quote: “So we got an attractive woman, wearing a bra, no top, walkin’ around in broad daylight? She’s flouting society’s conventions!” No word yet on how many car accidents she caused. [Photo: Fame/Flynet]