“I can’t afford security, so I practice self-defense and chain punching. … I spent millions in security in the last four years. I have had to change my life. I can’t afford to go out to the clubs anymore because the sort of protection I need can cost anywhere from 5 to 10 thousand dollars a night. … That is actually where all my money went because safety is number one.”
—Heidi Montag explains why she has been taking intense martial arts classes for the past six months, and in the process continues her tour of delusional. Sure, she probably spent a lot on security. But if she wants to know where her money went—it’s in the 10 plastic surgery procedures she had done at once, the money she spent putting out her album, and the fact that she spends, spends, spends in general. [NY Daily News] Keep reading »
Yesterday I posted a quote from former Bond Girl Eva Green, who complained about being told she’s beautiful because she’d rather people compliment her for her acting talents. This quote irked me — as it irked many of you — and I’ve been thinking a little bit about why, exactly, I found it so annoying. On one hand, it’s irritating to hear anyone complain about being complimented. On the other hand, I “get” why it would be bothersome to have her good looks seemingly overshadow her other talents. Regardless, Green’s problem is utterly unrelatable; it’s certainly not one I’ve ever dealt with — quite the opposite, in fact.
Put simply, I would just love for someone to tell me that I am beautiful. Keep reading »
President Obama has authorized the use of brand-new body scanners at airports, as part of heightened security efforts to fight terrorism. The problem is, these new scanners provide incredibly detailed, high-definition images, where everything from the gun hiding in your anus to the details of your vag are visible. The image above is one such example and is only a low resolution version — airport security will get a much more up-close and personal looksie — in fact, the scanners technically violate U.K. child pornography laws. I’m all for making s**t more secure when I’m flying, but I’m not sure I want airport security knowing I haven’t shaved my pubes in a few days. [InfoWars.com] Keep reading »
The new T5000 Camera, which is taking off this weekend at a British exhibition, will also be taking off peopleâ€™s clothes. ThruVision promises their crafty cameras can see through clothing to identify any contents a person maybe carrying. Using T-ray (natural electromagnetic waves) technology that has been applied by the European Space Agency on dying stars, the camera will give the photographer x-ray vision. It produces a picture that distinguishes items — flour from cocaine, a plastic toy from a real gun — along with an outline of the body. Sure, the camera may be designed to search for an actual weapon, but it also could be used to check if your new sexy boyfriend is packing heat. Better yet, with this baby, you can even investigate Brad Pittâ€™s suspicious package. You just have to get within 80-feet of the target and then wham, bam, thank you maâ€™am! [Coolest Gadgets] Keep reading »
Sure, a lot of guys claim their ex-girlfriends are crazy, but in this case, the guy isnâ€™t “ex”-aggerating. April Wormly, 36, was too much of a wuss to drop the breakup bomb on her boyfriend face-to-face (or even via Wikipedia). So when he headed to the airport in San Antonio to depart on a trip, Wormly called in not one, not two, but a whopping 36 fake terrorist threats on his flight. Needless to say, with understandably uptight Homeland Security officers searching babies and throwing out water bottles, they took the phone calls seriously and evacuated the 120 passengers on the Southwest flight. Wormly hoped that when her man found out she had made all the calls, he would do the dirty work and dump her. But in court this week, the real bomb got dropped on Wormly, who certainly was broken up when she was sentenced to two years in prison and a $19,761 fine for her idiotic scheme. [MSNBC via Fark]
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