I don’t get lady times once a month. In fact, I don’t get it ever. Due to babymaker problems that you’d prefer not to think about (trust me), I’ve been on a constant stream of birth control for six months so as to avoid more surgery. In short, my reproductive system doesn’t function. The factory has been shut down.
But because a few icky lady parts problems and surgeries just aren’t enough to deal with, I’ve also reacted badly to six different forms of hormones, becoming a bloated, mean, or moody mess after a few weeks on each. So last week, once the inexplicable crying had set in, my chest had inflated to monstrous proportions, and I felt the urge to kick small children, my doctor decided it was time to try my seventh variety of hormone. But rather than switching directly from the patch to the new pill, she told me to take a week off, complete a cycle and then get back to being The Amazing Period-Less Girl. Keep reading »
With all the advances in technology and medical research, it’s about damned time someone discovered a way to minimize or eliminate that inconvenient monthly scourge we ladies call our period. Or so drugs like Seasonale and Lybrel, which advertise their ability to reduce or annihilate a monthly period (respectively) would have you believe. As anyone who watches E! or SoapNet (what? You don’t watch “Being Erica”?) can attest, there’s been an explosion in the marketing of birth control pills that help you manage your flow, but the technology allowing a woman to do this has been around since the advent of the Pill in 1960. In fact, the Pill’s creators allowed specifically for a week-long sabbatical from the hormones that stopped you from ovulating with the specific intention of mimicking the body’s natural cycle, worried that women would balk at the notion of not having her trusty monthly visitor. But the fact is, if you’re on the Pill, there’s no reason to bleed. And yet some women still find the idea of not having a period exceedingly unnatural. So the question is: when you’re on the Pill, is your period really necessary? Two women weigh in, after the jump… Keep reading »
“I’ve heard about the various birth control pills that you can take to go without your period for a few months and longer. Are they really safe and recommended?” — Banning Aunt Flo, via email
Have you seen that SNL skit (clip after the jump!), where the women are going ape sh*t because they haven’t had their period in months? I have, and I have to say it scared that crap out of me. Keep reading »
This morning we got a famous hoax-ish email forwarded from a friend with the following headline: “MENSTRUAL CYCLE: PLEASE READ!” Tantalizing! The author’s email concerns her sister, named Nicole, who was taking Seasonale, the birth control pill that leaves you period-less for four months. Somehow, supposedly, the pill caused a blood clot to develop in her neck that then spread to her brain and caused a stroke that killed her.
The tale is basically bs, however it does bring up a question we had about Seasonale to begin with. Like, isn’t it kind of gross to not get your period for four months? Doesn’t the uterine lining build up, but instead of shedding every month during your period, it just chills inside like, you know, old takeout in the back of your fridge? Apparently, we are so wrong! While the long-term affects of Seasonale are not known, doctors do know that when you’re taking any form of birth control hormones, the uterine lining doesn’t build up to the degree that it would when you’re not on the pill — that’s why women on the pill typically have lighter periods. Anyway, we’re sorry Nicole died, but it’s good to know that should we decide we don’t want an excuse to take a week off humping our boyfriend, we have the option. [Urban Legends] Keep reading »