Hi everyone it’s Sarah, not Amelia, writing “The Bachelor” recap. It is both an honor and quite a bit of pressure given that last night was the dramatic season finale. The occasion, of course, called for a group of friends gathered around bowls of chips, salsa and rice crispy treats to fully immerse ourselves in this “so bad it’s good” TV.
I started watching “The Bachelor” three years ago with Jake’s season in an attempt to bond with a large group of girls in my Washington, D.C. dorm/apartment. (They had a group name and everything. I never quite got it, or fit in). I was the girl who sat in the corner and quietly made fun of everything. Despite thinking the “journey” was ridiculous, I’ve been hate-watching ever since. Keep reading »
I know “The Bachelor” is all about a dude finding true love with a girl and all. But let’s get real…probably the most romantic part of the entire “Bachelor” brou-ha-ha was during the “After the Rose” follow up show (btw, it’s federally mandated that you have to passionately whisper the phrase “after the rose.”) Bachelor Sean Lowe talking about his feelings with Chris Harrisoin. Surrounded by soft lighting and about a thousand candles (hello fire hazard!), the two men dished on Sean’s love life and his rejection of runner up Lindsay. And then the stage caught on fire! No, no, just kidding! But really, you so rarely see two dudes talking about their feelings. It was really sweet.
Well, the journey is almost over. Last week, Bachelor Bronze visited the final four’s hometowns and sent sweet Des packing because he was totallys cared of her tattooed brother. This week, it’s time to get the romance on, as Sean and the final three travel to Thailand so Sean can bang all three women on the Fantasty Suite before choosing which two he wants to introduce to his parents. Wait, Sean doesn’t do that. I forgot he’s a born-again virgin. Maybe he’ll finger bang them? Let’s find out! Keep reading »
ABC must know they need to up the ante now that this season of “The Bachelor” is less Tierrable, because they’ve double-downed with two episodes this week. This first was a regular episode which aired last night featuring the four hometown dates (recap coming up after the jump). The second is a “Sean Tells All” special airing tonight. Why does SEAN get to tell all for an hour while no previous Bach has ever been given the same opportunity? You know who deserves a Tell All episode? Tierra’s eyebrow. You know that bitch has stories. Eh, whatever, you know I’ll be watching. After the jump, I’ll recap last night’s shenanigans, and reveal with woman was sent home. Keep reading »
We have reached a pivotal moment in every “Bachelor” series — it’s time for our lovelorn hunk to choose which four women will get to take him home to meet their families. Bachelor Bronze Sean Lowe has so whittled down his potential wives to six women: AshLee, Catherine, Dez, Lesley, Lindsay and Tierra. At this point, it’s hard for me to imagine which two girls Sean could possibly let go of, since he has off-the-walls chemistry with all of them, including the loathsome Tierra. Let’s see how he manages such an arduous task… Keep reading »
Two episodes of “The Bachelor” in one week? Cat lady Christmas has come early this year! I’m not sure why ABC felt these two episodes were climactic enough to warrant back to back airings, but I’m not complaining. On Monday’s episode, Tierra The Tierrable established herself not only as this season’s villain, but its resident bunny boiler as well. So, was she any more Tierrafying in last night’s episode? Let’s find out! Keep reading »
I’ve talked a lot about the diversity on “The Bachelor” this season, specifically focusing on the two black women who’ve made it farther than in any of the previous seasons. But there are also two other women of color in Sean’s group of lucky paramours — Catherine, who’s Asian, and Selma, who’s Iraqi. Last night, we got to learn a little more about Selma’s Muslim upbringing and how it affects her approach to appearing on “The Bachelor.” Let the recapping begin! Keep reading »
Has there ever been a more perfectly blonde and tan example of why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover? I admit, I came into this season of “The Bachelor” knowing little about Sean Lowe, but was pretty dismissive of him based on the fact that he’s such an Aryan Ken Doll. I assumed he must be shallow and vaguely dumb and just looking for a woman he could keep barefoot and pregnant at home. I am quickly starting to realize, however, that I was very wrong about him. Sean may just be the deepest, most authentic “Bachelor” in the show’s history. Let the recapping commence! Keep reading »
It’s a new year. You know what that means — it’s time for another season of everyone’s favorite sadly embarrassing dating show, “The Bachelor”! I took a wee bit of a hiatus from “Bach”-snarking last season, because I literally could not muster up one single solitary fuck about “Bachelorette” Emily. So boring, and from what I understand, so was her season. I must admit, I was sort of tempted to keep up my “Bachelor” break this season when I learned the new leading man would be one of Emily’s rejects, Sean Lowe. With his bleaches blonde hair and orange-y tan, he’s practically her twin. But then I remembered that “The Bachelor” is never about the man in question, but the crazy women fighting for his heart. Also, I never have plans on Monday, so what else was I going to do with my time? So, let’s get to know Bachelor Bronze (my nickname for him, henceforth, because he is SO tan and he came in third in Emily’s season) and his bevy of desperately single broads… Keep reading »