Breast implant technology is growing by leaps and bounds (just like those cup sizes, I know you bros hear me), and a company called Establishment Labs has announced its latest innovation: a breast implant with a microchip that would make medical care significantly easier for implant havers.
The Motiva Implant Matrix Ergonomix (name of implant, not a blender as I originally suspected) contains a “radio frequency identification (RFID) microchip that gives doctors and patients easier access to information about the implants, including their serial number, manufacturer name and other data.” They’ll be sold in 28 European countries, although no word yet on when these knockers will be available in the US. Read more on The Gloss…
Over the years, I’ve made a commitment to helping you get laid. And if you followed the advice in those articles, you’re probably having some trouble reading this one because the writhing mass of naked bodies you’re currently tangled up in won’t hold still. So you’ve got the hot, meaningless sex part down, but studies show that young people are still more interested in relationships than hookups, and, despite the sky-high divorce rate, the vast majority of people still want to get married one day.
You’re Looking For A Soul Mate: While your grandmother probably prayed that her future husband would be a caring father or know how to raise a barn or just be a supernatural hump machine (pausing to let that image sink in), these days it seems everyone is hoping to find their “soul mate.” And while it may sound romantic, in reality trying to find your soul mate can lead to The Last Airbender levels of disappointment. Read more on Cracked…
Obviously, life in outer space would be no vacation — you’re out there braving the final frontier, battling meteors and malfunctioning airlocks, and knowing you’ll die horribly in the abyss of space if some tiny thing goes amiss. But that’s what’s so awesome about it — it’s an adventure, baby! And you’re doing it all in goddamned outer space!
But actually, the hardest part about life on a space station or moon base is a whole bunch of little everyday annoyances that will make your life a living hell, and not in an awesome way. Read more at Cracked…
Gender stereotypes: let’s pretend, for a moment, that they exist for a reason, reason being that they are sometimes (sometimes) applicable. The largest analysis ever undertaken of words we use on Facebook, a socio-linguistic study published by researchers from the University of Pennsylvania and Cambridge University, produced “strong results” emerging from the analysis aligning with “past studies of gender.” It’s up to the individual to draw their own conclusion from what is presented in front of them, and that conclusion may very well be, “holy shit, we are all just horrible boilerplate human Internet stereotypes.” It’s really up to you. Check out the full image, after the jump … [Gawker] Keep reading »
I have been achingly cool for almost as long as I can remember, but circa fifth and sixth grade was the absolute low point of my coolness. I know it’s hard to imagine, but I was really, really lame — I’m talking Hot Topic wardrobe, greasy hair, Transitions lenses … it was a rough couple of years. I was weird, and nobody wanted to middle school date me at a time when everyone was middle school dating, and I felt like a total loser. SUCH a loser! But a new study found that early-starting kids who began “dating” at an average age of 11.6 years were reported twice as likely to engage in abnormal or delinquent behavior as on-time (about 12.9 years) adolescents and late bloomers (14.9, holllllller), so maybe I’m better for it? Just kidding, I also engaged in these behaviors myself, but I am a scientific anomaly and also not a part of this study.
My real question is, what is this “dating” at age 11.6? I have no firsthand account, so I can only imagine it is limited to the awkward conversations across hallways and uncomfortable, clammy “hand-holding” that I served only witness to. Are these children allowed at one another’s homes? Don’t these kids have parents? Speaking of parents: parents, do not EVER purchase Transitions lenses for your school-aged children. Do you know what they call that? They call that FATES WORSE THAN DEATH. Social suicide, I’m telling you. [Gawker]
[Photo of happy smiling kids via Shutterstock]