Tag Archives: saying i love you

Dear Wendy: “How Long Does It Take The Average Person To Say ‘I Love You’?”

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about seven months, and things are going amazingly. For the first time in my life, I feel emotionally healthy and secure with myself. I spent a year being single, working on loving myself and I’m no longer battling the constant fear that the man I’m with will abandon me and nobody will love me. I’m feeling so good about things with this man, and I’m dying to tell him that I love him, but something is holding me back. I’ve read your piece about why women shouldn’t say “I Love You” first, and I have to say I have zero fears that it would freak him out or send him running for the hills. I’m not afraid that he doesn’t love me, and even if he doesn’t yet, I know things are heading in that direction. My fear is this: if he doesn’t say it back, I might revert to the insecure, unstable girl that I was. I don’t want the constant anxiety and tears, always thinking that I’m not good enough to be loved. What should I do? Should I face my fears and tell him how I feel? Or should I be patient, and wait until he’s ready to say the words first? And how long do you think it takes the average man to say “I love you”? — Waiting To Hear The Words

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Dear Wendy: “I’m Scared To Say ‘I Love You’”

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a while now, and quite a few times in the past few months (especially recently) he’s told me that he loves me or is in love with me. Every time I’m with him my thoughts are screaming “I love you!” and I want to say it, and I’ve tried, but my head can never tell my mouth what to say, which leaves me wondering if I do indeed love him. When I’m with him, everything is finally okay, but when we’re apart, I don’t feel exactly right. I’m willing to do anything to see him happy, even if it means bending over backwards, which I’ve done, and I’ve sacrificed my own happiness for him a few times (he was unaware of it though) just to help things work for him. Twenty years from now, I want more than anything for him to be happy and with the love of his life, but sometimes I don’t think I’m her. There are times when I feel like we’re great now, but not necessarily forever, and that leaves me wondering if I really love him. What does it mean to you to be in love? If you’re in love does it mean that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, or can it simply be something just for now? And also, how do I go about telling my boyfriend that I love him, when every time I’ve wanted to and tried, I’ve failed? I feel like I can’t rely on myself to say a simple “I love you” so are there other ways to do it, while keeping it incredibly romantic and memorable? — Love Shy

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Dear Wendy: “I Accidentally Said ‘I Love You’!”

It’s time again for “Shortcuts.” For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss accidentally dropping the L-Bomb, what’s appropriate contact between two exes, and when it’s time to MOA. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Why Won’t He Say “I Love You”?

Wendy is off today. So in lieu of a brand-new Dear Wendy, we’re rerunning one of her early columns. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Love And The Absence Of Love

I was lying in the bed of my current lover. I don’t know if I would call him a lover, maybe just an intimate friend. Or a spiritual hookup. I’ve stopped labeling these things since I turned 30. They are too nuanced and complicated to put a name to. Keep reading »

34 Ways To Say “I Love You” Without Actually Saying “I Love You”

Sure, Valentine’s Day has passed and the Hallmark cards and heart-shaped balloons are now in the half-off bin, but if you’re in a relationship, there’s no reason to slack off on showing you care the other 364 days of the year. Still, saying “I love you” doesn’t always come easy or convey the depth of feeling as much as simple actions do. After the jump, 34 ways to tell her “I love you” without actually saying it. (And gals, plenty of these can apply in reverse!) Keep reading »

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