Maybe it’s because I’ve come to expect little more than fist fights, hot tub hookups and peeing in public, but lately, approximately once an episode, I’ve noticed some serious words of wisdom coming from the mouths of the cast members of “Jersey Shore.” Last week, I was impressed by Deena‘s coinage of the phrase “female backpack.” This week it’s—and I can’t believe that I’m actually saying this—Ronnie who gave me something to think about. During a fight with Sammi he yelled, “I need a mind condom because you are mentally f**king me.”
Yeah. Let’s all take a moment to let Ronnie’s words sink in. Keep reading »
Sometimes being a feminist means sticking up for someone you hate when she is being treated wrong. That feminist is me and the person I hate is Angelina from “Jersey Shore.” Angelina is the embodiment of every awful characteristic in a human being: duplicitous, slimy, back-stabbing. None of her “Jersey Shore” cast members like or trust Angelina and call her the “Staten Island dump” to her face. Really, the girl’s lack of self-awareness would be amusing if it weren’t so sad.
One person does like Angelina, though: Jose, a gent from Miami who buys her a Fossil watch after two dates. Angelina takes the watch from Jose, but then “smushes” with Vinny during a drunken night of bad decisions. The cast will have none of this. They call Angelina a “whore” and a “slut.” The Situation goes up to Jose at the club one night to say Angelina has something she needs to tell him. Keep reading »
Can we talk about last night’s “Jersey Shore“? It was CRAZY. The Situation hooked up with the hottie of his dreams, only to kick her out minutes after the deed was done. Snooki got down with Vinnie, and let us know that sex with him was “like putting a watermelon into, like, a pinhole.”
But the craziest part of the episode was the final scene, when J-Woww and Sammi got into a physical fight. (See the first half of it, above.) And I’m not talking a little hair pulling. This was a knock-down, drag-out fight where punches were thrown and the rest of the cast had to jump in to hold them back. Keep reading »
Stop the presses! Sammi finally grew a teeny-tiny backbone this weekend and quit “Jersey Shore.” According to sources at OK! magazine, the Jersey Shore’s dimmest bulb didn’t realize the horrifying range of Ronnie‘s wandering penis until last week’s episode aired. On Friday night, she allegedly had “a monster fight” with her slimeball on-again-off-again ex, ripped off her microphone and quit the show. “The door was left open for Sammi to return whenever she wanted, but she said ‘No way, not happening’ and is home,” the source said. But hold your applause. This is Sammi we’re talking about, remember? Girlfriend came crawling back like she always does. “After negotiations with producers,” she’s back in the house filming, the source says. And probably still in love with Ronnie. Is this girl the most codependent person you’ve ever met or what? [OK!] Keep reading »
Because the cast of “Jersey Shore” is known for nothing if not serving as the paragon of what American style should be, apparently the guidos and guidettes have Fashion Week invites flowing in. (With QVC and Kim Kardashian for Bebe showing at the tents, are you really all that surprised?) More than invites though, certain super special cast members have been approached to actually model in a few shows. Before you start trying to imagine Snooki sober enough to walk a straight runway line or “The Situation” pulling off the epic feat of strutting without removing his shirt, we’ll end the maddening suspense: JWOWW and Sammi are the chosen two. Allegedly, three different labels have talked to their (shared) manager about the possibility of the tan and lovely ladies gracing the runway at Bryant Park. God help us all… [The Cut] Keep reading »