You know what we miss the most about Jane magazine (other than all of Jane magazine)? The makeunders. The mag would pull some woman off the street, snatch the black eyeliner out of her hands, and do her up in a more subtle makeup look using fewer products. Now the ladies of xoJane.com, where editor Jane Pratt has landed, have gifted Sammi Giancola from “Jersey Shore” a makeunder and day-um girl. Sammi’s always been really pretty, but her xoJane makeunder really lets her natural beauty shine through. The makeup artist hired by xoJane only used five beauty products and took no longer than five minutes to make her up. I like! Lay off the tanning beds and flatirons for awhile, Sammi, pretty please? [xoJane] Keep reading »
Well. I do not like this Snooki/Jionni relationship one bit. Who dares call Snooki a “bitch” and say she’s embarrassing? Like that’s a bad thing? Of course she’s embarrassing! She’s Snooki. And I kinda love how the roommates all closed ranks to get her to realize that Jionni is a putz that doesn’t deserve her. It was a brief, fleeting moment showing that even if they’re actually good people deep inside. (Sometimes. A little bit.)
Find out more about Snooki’s relationship drama — and the infamous “meatball fight” — after the jump! Keep reading »
Finally, a Valentine’s Day card for that untapped “ex who made your life a living hell” demographic. [Shlooby Kitten] Keep reading »
When we last left off with “Jersey Shore,” Ronnie and Mike got into a screaming match about Ron’s on-again, off-again girlfriend Sammi and Ronnie beat Mike to a pulp, sending him to the hospital. At least, that’s what it looked like thanks to MTV’s editing. It’s true that Mike and Ronnie — whom I will henceforth refer to as Testoster-Ronnie — had a brawl. But we came to find out in this week’s episode that all is not what it seemed.
Spoilers (and lots of disturbing Ronnie/Sammi abuse) after the jump… Keep reading »
Are we surprised the Italians speak better English than the “Jersey Shore” cast does? Last night’s episode brought us new words like “romantical,” “conversating,” “twin sandwich” and of course, “twinning.” Why so much twin-talk? The Situation meets pretty blonde twins at a club — and one of them is a virgin — so naturally they bring these delightful specimens back to the house to smoosh. And true to the twin-theme, this episode had two times the drama: Keep reading »
Last night’s “Jersey Shore” was a big time set-up episode, setting the stage for all the drama that’s going to go down this season. (If you haven’t watched yet, SPOILER ALERT.) The Situation is slithering up Snooki‘s miniskirt; Sammi is whimpering over Ronnie again; and Pauly D has, thank God, not yet inhaled enough hairspray fumes to think sex with Deena is a good idea. I am going to need six limoncello shots to cope if any of these housemates hook up with each other, let alone start dating.
After the jump, the good, the bad, and the WTF of last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore.” Keep reading »
Maybe it’s because I’ve come to expect little more than fist fights, hot tub hookups and peeing in public, but lately, approximately once an episode, I’ve noticed some serious words of wisdom coming from the mouths of the cast members of “Jersey Shore.” Last week, I was impressed by Deena‘s coinage of the phrase “female backpack.” This week it’s—and I can’t believe that I’m actually saying this—Ronnie who gave me something to think about. During a fight with Sammi he yelled, “I need a mind condom because you are mentally f**king me.”
Yeah. Let’s all take a moment to let Ronnie’s words sink in. Keep reading »
Sometimes being a feminist means sticking up for someone you hate when she is being treated wrong. That feminist is me and the person I hate is Angelina from “Jersey Shore.” Angelina is the embodiment of every awful characteristic in a human being: duplicitous, slimy, back-stabbing. None of her “Jersey Shore” cast members like or trust Angelina and call her the “Staten Island dump” to her face. Really, the girl’s lack of self-awareness would be amusing if it weren’t so sad.
One person does like Angelina, though: Jose, a gent from Miami who buys her a Fossil watch after two dates. Angelina takes the watch from Jose, but then “smushes” with Vinny during a drunken night of bad decisions. The cast will have none of this. They call Angelina a “whore” and a “slut.” The Situation goes up to Jose at the club one night to say Angelina has something she needs to tell him. Keep reading »
Can we talk about last night’s “Jersey Shore“? It was CRAZY. The Situation hooked up with the hottie of his dreams, only to kick her out minutes after the deed was done. Snooki got down with Vinnie, and let us know that sex with him was “like putting a watermelon into, like, a pinhole.”
But the craziest part of the episode was the final scene, when J-Woww and Sammi got into a physical fight. (See the first half of it, above.) And I’m not talking a little hair pulling. This was a knock-down, drag-out fight where punches were thrown and the rest of the cast had to jump in to hold them back. Keep reading »
Stop the presses! Sammi finally grew a teeny-tiny backbone this weekend and quit “Jersey Shore.” According to sources at OK! magazine, the Jersey Shore’s dimmest bulb didn’t realize the horrifying range of Ronnie‘s wandering penis until last week’s episode aired. On Friday night, she allegedly had “a monster fight” with her slimeball on-again-off-again ex, ripped off her microphone and quit the show. “The door was left open for Sammi to return whenever she wanted, but she said ‘No way, not happening’ and is home,” the source said. But hold your applause. This is Sammi we’re talking about, remember? Girlfriend came crawling back like she always does. “After negotiations with producers,” she’s back in the house filming, the source says. And probably still in love with Ronnie. Is this girl the most codependent person you’ve ever met or what? [OK!] Keep reading »