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Hide Your Good Snacks & Other Rules For Hosting A Booty Call

BARFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, I hate new sex.

And I know it’s a thing (maybe a sitcom thing?) to bitch about having to do a fake porn moan under the same sweaty, hairy, disgusting meatsack of a pre-corpse you’ve been holding your farts in under for the last five or 10 or 15 years or whatever, but I don’t even care: I WANT THAT.

I’m over the rush of the new; bring on the last dick I’m ever gonna suck. Keep reading »

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