Hmm, filming someone as they’re waking up from anesthesia after getting their wisdom teeth removed — mean or hilarious? I think it depends entirely on what they say while they’re under the influence and have big wads of cotton stuffed in their cheeks. For example, this woman is hilarious. All she wants is to have sex with Ryan Gosling. Can’t the girl get a little white dick? And if not, looking like a Kardashian will do. This is pretty much my daily inner monologue, minus the “white” dick part. I like dicks of all colors. [Gawker]
It started when I was 11 years old. I was flipping through the very first Seventeen magazine my mom ever let me have (June 1996 — Liv Tyler was on the cover, if you must know) and I saw one of those “hot guy” features. You know those “hot guy” features: A collage of very different, but still traditionally attractive actors and musicians. Conventional wisdom says there has to be at least one that strikes your fancy if you are a girl with heterosexual inclinations. (Otherwise, you can spend more time on the Liv Tyler profile.)
Anyway, I remember flipping through it and not being particularly struck by Johnny Depp or Edward Furlong or Jakob Dylan. I mean, I got that they were cute. I understood that women wanted to date them. They just didn’t speak to tween me.
Then, I turned the page and spotted a young Brad Renfro. He had greasy, tawny hair parted down the middle and he had such a direct gaze, that I truly thought he was staring me down. I immediately felt my first ever rush of sexual desire and developed my first all-consuming celebrity crush. Keep reading »
OK! Magazine is reporting that Ryan Gosling has allowed his precious, beautiful sperm to impregnate girlfriend Eva Mendes, despite ongoing rumors that the couple has broken up. Supposedly Eva is seven months along and “it’s a dream come true for her,” according to the “pal” who leaked the status of Mendes’ womb to the gossip mag. Naturally, before I completely LOST MY SHIT over this bit of gossip — because as you perhaps maybe heard, Ryan and I are M2B — I decided to do some investigating… Keep reading »