Let’s talk about how mother-effing excited I am for this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live.” Yes, last week’s season premiere totally blew, but tomorrow night, Mr. Scarlett Johansson, aka my second favorite Ryan in Hollywood—Ryan Reynolds—is hosting, with musical guest, Lady Gaga. This shiz is gonna be hot. Promo above.

Because we’ll never run out of excuses to root for men in leotards, we’re excited for the slew of superhero movies that are currently in the works. Last week, we swooned when we heard that Ryan Reynolds had been cast as the Green Lantern, everyone’s favorite super hero test pilot. “Thor” is also gearing up for filming, Natalie Portman will be appearing in it alongside Chris Hemsworth—Kirk’s hot dad in “Star Trek.” And then there’s “Iron Man 2.” Robert Downey Jr. assures us that the new flick will be sex-soaked. “We’re horny,” he said. “Not, like, can’t-bring-your-kids horny. Just… horny.” [I’m Not Obsessed]

So which of these super heroes should we Shun, Shag, or Marry?

I know it seems futile to get excited about a movie opening two years from now. But Ryan Reynolds has been given the part of DC comics hero “Green Lantern” (not to be confused with “Green Hornet” starring Seth Rogen) over Bradley Cooper, Jared Leto, and Justin Timberlake. The character the Green Lantern is a test pilot who’s gifted a “power ring and battery lantern” by a dying alien, and is left to fight crime in the alien’s stead. The casting took forever because the director and producers each had their own favorite. Thank goodness Ryan won, ‘cause that boy is gorgeous sans shirt. Sure, we have to wait 734 days to see him (fingers crossed) half-nakedly beating up bad guys, but a girl can still get excited, can’t she? [TheMoneyTimes]

• Ryan Reynolds says he and wife Scarlett Johansson will definitely adopt because he was lucky to have an older adopted brother and he realizes there are so many orphans in the world. [PopEater]—Maybe they’ll go against the Hollywood trend and adopt an American or Canadian orphan.
• Jim Carrey’s 21-year-old daughter Jane is pregnant, making him a first-time grandfather. [People]—I wonder if he’ll try to persuade her not to inoculate the baby.
• Teresa Giudice from “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” has been indulging in decadent treats while pregnant because she can’t have her favorite sweet cocktails. [OK! Magazine]

Rydonna? Ryarlett? I don’t know what we’ll call them, but Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson may be the newest celebs to start adopting a small tribe. The hunky “Proposal” star recently blabbed to Britain’s Glamour magazine that he “couldn’t be more pro-adoption” and “has every intention of adopting at some time.”  Why? Because his older brother was adopted. Well, Ryan is 32, so it’s time to get cracking! Not sure yet where he is thinking of eventually picking up his little one, but I know one girl in Manhattan who would love the gig. [I’m Not Obsessed]

The testosterone-fueled, ruggedly “handsome” screen star as we know him—strong jaw line, brooding eyes, a prominent nose—is on the way out, if the New York Observer is to be believed. Surely, in this post-“Queer Eye” world, it’s no secret that even the Manliest of Manly Men are trimming their facial scruff and plucking their beastly brows. But Irina Aleksader at the Observer wonders if what currently makes girls squeal are…girlie men.

Ryan Reynolds stopped to say “hi” on his way to tape the “Late Show with David Letterman.” [NYC, 6/17/09]

He and Scarlett Johansson are being super stealth-like in their mission to overtake Brangelina as the most genetically gifted couple in Hollywood. [EW]

In the July issue of InStyle, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were interviewed for two separate stories—him for the “Man of Style” and her for “Beauty Talk”—but the recently married couple are either totally on the same page or did their interviews with the other in the room, because they have similar wishes.

PAGE 60
InStyle: Do you ever wish you could change a characteristic about yourself?
Ryan Reynolds: I know this sounds weird, but I wish I were an inch shorter. [He’s 6-foot-2.]

PAGE 103
InStyle: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Scarlett Johansson: I’d like to be taller. I’m 5-foot-4 on a good day, and a couple extra inches would be nice.

They totally want to be able to kiss each other more easily!

Would wife Scarlett Johansson care that Sandra Bullock is holding her husband so tightly? We don’t think she has anything to worry about. [LA, 6/1/09]

New mom Jennifer Lopez was spotted on the lamb at “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” premiere last night, sans her husband Marc Anthony, as well as her wedding ring.  Whoa! While she wasn’t showing of her rock, she was showing off her jewels in a very sexy low-cut dress. Hmm, could J.Lo be back on the market? Well, while we speculate about her single status, here are some celebs we’d actually like to see back on the market…

Ever since Sean Avery was suspended for referring to his ex-girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert, as “sloppy seconds,” I’ve been thinking about how Cuthbert has been at the center of controversy before. Read on for all the details…