The baby that represents all of my crushed hopes and dreams has finally made her debut. According to Us Weekly, Eva Mendes and boyfriend Ryan Gosling allegedly welcomed their first child, a girl, on September 12. No word on the baby’s name but I’m sure it will be adorable. Eva and Ryan are going to be great parents and I suppose I shall have to live the rest of my life satisfied by watching Ryan be a rad dad from afar. Congrats to them both, seriously. As for me, I shall be alright. [Us Weekly]
Leave it to my hometown to have a restaurant with my boo’s face wallpapering the walls of its women’s bathroom! Bang Bang, an Asian Fusion restaurant located in downtown San Diego, not far from where I grew up, has lined the walls of their women’s loo with Ryan Gosling wallpaper — not, like, pics of the actor ripped out of magazines and taped to the wall, but WALLPAPER of my dream lover’s gorgeous mug. Is this wallpaper for purchase somewhere? I think it would look fantastic in the walk-in-closet/shrine I plan to have in my next apartment. In the meantime, next time I’m in San Diego, I know where I’m going to take a piss. [House Beautiful]
Wouldn’t you? (And you can — for only $319!) [Photos: Splash News]
Real Ryan Gosling is procreating with girlfriend Eva Mendes, but wax Ryan Gosling is single and ready to mingle. [Photos: Getty Images]
Hmm, filming someone as they’re waking up from anesthesia after getting their wisdom teeth removed — mean or hilarious? I think it depends entirely on what they say while they’re under the influence and have big wads of cotton stuffed in their cheeks. For example, this woman is hilarious. All she wants is to have sex with Ryan Gosling. Can’t the girl get a little white dick? And if not, looking like a Kardashian will do. This is pretty much my daily inner monologue, minus the “white” dick part. I like dicks of all colors. [Gawker]
It started when I was 11 years old. I was flipping through the very first Seventeen magazine my mom ever let me have (June 1996 — Liv Tyler was on the cover, if you must know) and I saw one of those “hot guy” features. You know those “hot guy” features: A collage of very different, but still traditionally attractive actors and musicians. Conventional wisdom says there has to be at least one that strikes your fancy if you are a girl with heterosexual inclinations. (Otherwise, you can spend more time on the Liv Tyler profile.)
Anyway, I remember flipping through it and not being particularly struck by Johnny Depp or Edward Furlong or Jakob Dylan. I mean, I got that they were cute. I understood that women wanted to date them. They just didn’t speak to tween me.
Then, I turned the page and spotted a young Brad Renfro. He had greasy, tawny hair parted down the middle and he had such a direct gaze, that I truly thought he was staring me down. I immediately felt my first ever rush of sexual desire and developed my first all-consuming celebrity crush. Keep reading »