I love the natural high of exercise. To me, it serves as a kind of pseudo anti-depressant* that puts me in an instant good mood, and I like to alternate new workout plans to give me something to look forward to during dull or stressful stretches of time (like, say, the bulk of winter). For most of my life, largely because of Lululemon models that looked nothing like me and my overall hatred of gym class, I thought of myself as the opposite of a “fitness person.” I was on a sports team for a few years of high school, but I still felt like I’d never be someone who exercised of my own accord, and I dreaded “mile run day” in school like it was the plague. At that point, I figured I’d be doomed to choose between either a sedentary life or one full of countless miserable, wasted hours forcing myself to break a sweat when I’d rather be reading a book. I can’t pinpoint exactly when that changed, but sometime within the last few years, I started to kind of like going to the gym. I started to realize (and this is going to sound painfully obvious, so don’t laugh) that exercise is not just for those among us who are ultra-thin and have $200 Nike fitness gear, or something that only some people are “good” at. Instead, it’s an amazingly simple, egalitarian way to improve your life and practice keeping promises to yourself (for real, this was an actual surprise to me). These days, I get twitchy after a few days without a workout, which has me in a bind, because I just injured my foot and am totally out of commission. Keep reading »
In March, I signed up for a 5k called Bacon Chase that took place in June (the lure being that you got unlimited bacon at the end). I figured by the time it rolled around, I’d be ready for it. So, of course, I proceeded to not prepare at all and then run it anyway to get my money’s worth — and I did OK! I managed not to stop running the whole time, and I ran at my normal 12:00 pace.
What happened next is what’s kind of messed in the head: I thought, OK, now I’m gonna do a 10k. The next day I thought, Oh, fuck it all, I’m doing the marathon. Yes, I have poor impulse control and I self-aggrandize about my capabilities. But it’s turned out all right. I was able to get registered on the Advocate Hospitals charity team to raise money for one of their city-based behavioral health centers (they serve the underserved and they need it, please donate!), so far I’ve stuck pretty well to the plan, and to my complete and utter surprise it is no longer a big deal for me to run 10 miles in a day anymore.
Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned during my marathon training so far… Keep reading »
I have to admit that I’m somewhat of a runner myself, so maybe I’m not supposed to find this video funny, but this Onion ad for a fake fitness tracker is such a perfect joke. For those who run from any form of angst, whether it’s a disappointed father, constant shame or a lack of real friends, the +Runlogic is here to help point out your every flaw. [Gizmodo]
I hate running with a fiery passion. But thanks to one genius woman who has turned her exercise misery into something inappropriate, I am now inspired to lace up my old sneakers and sprint my little heart out. There’s nothing like hitting the pavement knowing that the calories you’re burning will eventually form a dick pic.
New national treasure, San Francisco’s Claire Wyckoff, has been using satellite-enabled exercise tracking technology from Nike+ to run courses and paths around the city that form penises. We’re talking big ones, small ones, long ones, fat ones, everything. But per her Running Drawing Tumblr page, Claire doesn’t limit herself to just dicks— she also recently drew an extended middle finger and a stripper on a pole, for example. Basically, she’s the new Picasso. Keep reading »
Lululemon, the pricey workout clothing retailer known for saying larger women’s sizes aren’t part of their “formula,” have gone and trumped themselves in the Shaking My Head department by creating a new product that’s a total workout repellent: The “Runsie,” a stylish romper designed for running. Yes, a onesie for exercise. Keep reading »
In my continuing quest to become a runner, I’ve conquered a number of mental obstacles, but until recently, had yet to figure out the solution to a more tangible challenge: finding running clothes that are comfortable and functional for my big-busted, short, curvy body (not exactly the shape most athletic companies cater to). After finally tracking down my dream sports bra, my next goal was to find a pair of running shorts. The requirements:
- Thick spandex, because those flimsy nylon running shorts just don’t cut it.
- Don’t fall down, ride up, pinch, sag, or require any adjustments while running.
- Don’t make my thighs look like freshly stuffed sausages.
- Have a zip pocket for my keys, gym ID card, etc.
- Not too short.
That’s not too much to ask, is it? After buying and trying many different types of running tights, leggings, and shorts with results that ranged from “god, no!” to “meh,” I took Moving Comfort’s 7.5″ Endurance Shorts for a test run (literally), and fell in love. They meet all my requirements and more. Here’s why they’re awesome: Keep reading »