Kate Middleton can add Mr. Men children’s books to list of items immortalizing her fancy nuptials. Little Miss Princess meets and falls in love with a prince, Mr. Bump, and soon she’s living a castle with a butler who puts toothpaste on her toothbrush for her. Little Miss Princess, which goes on sale in the UK on Monday, will be the first Mr. Men book to be published since 2004; an accompanying sticker and coloring book, Little Miss Princess and the Very Special Wedding, will be for sale in April. I’m not sad, though. Mr. Men wrote a book about me, too! It was called Little Miss Trouble. [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »
Kate Middleton and I have something big in common. We are both
marrying princes named Kate. And now that a brewery in Nottingham has dreamed up this royal wedding themed beer, I am feeling closer to Kate then ever before. Apparently she has been tortured by the existence of Cole Porter’s musical “Kiss Me Kate,” which is based on Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew,” too! Over the years, way too many guys have preluded a smooch with the words “Kiss Me Kate,” which—I won’t lie—makes me want to gag each and every time. Not to mention all the teachers I had, kindergarten through college, who alluded to the play’s name or plot after calling on me in class. I’m just glad to know Kate Middleton feels my pain. Keep reading »
Keep this royal wedding barf bag handy on April 29th, 2011, every time you’re reminded 1) how much this is costing the British taxpayers, and 2) you’re not the one about to become a princess. It should have been me, Prince William. It should have been me! [Creative Review UK] Keep reading »
Royal wedding memorabilia has reached a new level of tastelessness: Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is selling Prince William and Kate Middleton-themed condoms! Instructing randy Brits to “lie back and think of England” because “like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion,” the condoms are sold in royal purple packages with a picture of the happy couple on the front. But some folks are not amused. “This is completely tasteless and rather hurtful,” Ingrid Deward, editor of Majesty magazine, told Orange News. “Prince William has a great sense of humor but this is a step too far.” Alas, Crown Jewels warns customers their condoms are only “heirloom products” and do not actually protect you against pregnancy or STDs. Maybe you could hang them on the wall next to your royal wedding heirloom plate that says “It should have been me!” [Orange] Keep reading »
Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting the Lifetime movie treatment. Yup, sometime in April before their April 29th wedding, Lifetime will air a movie about their courtship. According to Entertainment Weekly, Nico Evers-Swindell of “Law & Order” and “NCIS: Los Angeles” will play Prince William, Ben Cross of “Chariots of Fire” will play Prince Charles, and the actress to play Kate Middleton has not yet been cast. No matter, this movie is totally going to be better than “The Craigslist Killer”!
Now, we all know that in Lifetime movies, someone dies a horrific and untimely death. I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen in this movie. (Except for the Princess Di part.) But we can imagine what kind of ridiculous Lifetime-esque plots, full of passion, intrigue, and even more passion, that they could come up with … Keep reading »
Planning a royal wedding is no joke—Kate Middleton has resigned from her post at her parent’s party supply company to attend to all the assorted details of her April 29th nuptials. Already, we’re a little worried that the event might be stuck in the ’80s—Kate is wearing Diana’s decade-of-decadence engagement ring, the couple’s engagement photos look eerily like the ones Princess Charles and Diana took back in the day, and the wedding is going down in Westminster Abbey which … booorrrring. And now we hear that the Buckingham Palace staff has sent out save-the-date notices to the royal families of Europe—by fax machine. I mean, couldn’t they just have sent carrier pigeons? [OMG News, People] Keep reading »
Prince Charles is rumored to have a servant who squirts his toothpaste on his toothbrush. But Prince William and Kate Middleton will forgo such extravagances — for three years at least. The engaged couple will do their own laundry and cook their own meals for the remainder of the prince’s RAF military service, according to a royal source. That’s how long the couple intends to live on weekends in a cottage William rented in the town of Anglesey. “Prince William is not into extravagance and, like any other young officer in the armed forces, that is how he chooses to live his life,” said the source. “He and [Kate] live without domestic staff and they wouldn’t do it any other way. That’s the life they want to lead.” Of course, William and Kate have 24-hour body guards protecting them, but otherwise they live without maids or butlers. At least these kids don’t have any full-time staff; somehow I don’t imagine Prince William scrubbing his own toilet once a week.
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