According to reports, Pete Doherty and Macaulay Culkin are now living as roommates in Paris. Culkin is effectively “home not alone.” Rachel and I have so many questions.
Me: Rachel, what do you think an average day in the Macaulay Culkin/Pete Doherty home is like? I think it goes something like this: Wake up, cigarettes, cartoons, Pete and Macaulay both spend a couple of hours trying to get their agents on the phone. Then more cigarettes. Then online poker.
Rachel: Pete plays a little guitar, puts on a ton of bracelets.
Me: Oh my, we haven’t even gotten to the part of the day where they do their hair together.
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Last week, I found out that Lauren Graham and Connie Britton used to live together and I was like, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Two of my favorite TV moms used to be roomies?!” The story only gets better though. Lauren told Andy Cohen that the two didn’t pay rent and were technically squatters. “We lived in an empty house that we weren’t supposed to be living in. We had no furniture and all we ate were Rice Krispies Treats.” Amazing, right? I went searching for other unexpected celeb roommates and found 6 more that might surprise you. Which rock star shared a room with David Lynch in Boston? Which former child star was brave enough to shack up with Lindsay Lohan? Read on to find out…
We’ve all been guilty of it: the middle-of-the-night hookup that was so loud our roommates heard every bit of it. And possibly the neighbors, too. It’s not that we mean to interrupt anyone else’s beauty sleep, of course. It just happened. Er, loudly. But when you reach a certain age — like, say, when you’re old enough to be putting money into a 401K — you really have to cut that out. Your relationship with the person who has the ability who “accidentally” delete your entire TiVo queue depends upon it!
After the jump, eight ways to still have your middle-of-the-night booty call, but do it quietly. Keep reading »
Bro code rule number one is that if you pass out at a party or a gathering of bros, you have to accept the consequences. The consequences, historically and bro-culturally, are typically that you’ll wake up with a dick or several dicks drawn on your face. It’s not necessarily fair, but thems the rules. So when 31-year-old (!) James Denham Watson got wasted and passed out on the couch while hanging out with his friends, he shouldn’t have been surprised to wake up with a gallimaufry of penises scrawled across his face. Keep reading »
Life. So many unanswered questions. Thank God Almie Rose is here to guide us through our most intimate quandaries. In this webisode, Almie helps us figure out how to masturbate when someone else — your roommate, your study buddy, or unwanted house guest — is in the room. Because you shouldn’t be deprived of yourself, just because someone else happens to be there…
There was a moment sometime during the weekend before finals week that I looked up from the copious U.N.-related documents assigned by my Intro to Human Rights professor that I had somehow failed to read during the semester and realized: “Holy shit my first year of college is basically over.”
I thought back to about a year before and tried to remember what I thought finishing my freshman year would feel like. I guess I thought I’d be far more sophisticated, secure and grown up in general. In reality — at least at that moment at time —I just felt a hell of a lot more stressed. But the truth is, I learned a lot over the past year, even if that transformation manifested in a number of small ways rather than one grand overhaul of my childish naivete.
So here are just a few pieces of advice for rising freshmen from somebody who just finished being one. Keep reading »
Roommates get a bad rap. And often, for good reason. I’ve had some seriously insane ones. There was the girl who made everyone leave their socks outside and the guy who left an imprint of his balls on our bathroom floor where he powdered them every morning. He was fun! The four years I spent living on my own were absolute bliss. I dropped my underwear in the middle of the floor, slept with the TV on if I felt like it (I like to fall asleep to infomercials) and sang Queen songs at the top of my lungs. But when I moved back to NYC, financial necessity dictated that I have a roommate. As luck would have it, there was a vacancy in my best friend’s apartment. I say best friend, but I should also mention she was my roommate in college for three years, so I knew we could cohabitate peacefully. In total, we’ve lived together for eight years now. Sure, I look forward to living alone someday again. Or maybe, if I’m lucky, with a romantic partner. But there are so many wonderful perks of having a (non-crazy) roommate. Check them out after the jump. Keep reading »
Most of us either have already experienced or will eventually experience the roommate who is just a little too open with their sex lives. I have definitely been kept awake by muffled moans, creaking beds, dirty talk and noises that cannot be defined while sharing a place with someone else. One of my friends even told me that she walked in on her very skinny male roommate while a rather voluptuous woman was gagging him.
Most of us are willing to put up with the occasional roommate sexcapade. But one Massachusetts college student says she has had enough — and she sued for $150K. Keep reading »
Living with other human beings is hard. Like really hard. And sometimes if it’s your best friend, it’s even harder. How do you tell someone you love that they need to do their own dishes and turn the TV volume down and stop having loud sex every single night.
We feel you. In fact, we are you and that’s why we’re giving you some solutions. Read more…
I suspect that it is a universal (and perverse) hobby of college upperclassmen and graduates alike to terrify rising freshman with cautionary roommate stories of horror. This past summer, it seemed like all I had to do was mention the fact that I was about to start college and aforementioned upperclassmen/graduates would inquire about my roommate situation. Did I request a roommate? Did I know who she was? Until a couple of weeks before I left for school, the answers were always “no” and “I did not.” Apparently, these honest answers were basically invitations to terrify me with stories of the ill-adjusted and insane human beings assigned to live with whomever I might have been talking to. So, believe me, I was prepared for the worst.
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