Last night’s “Jersey Shore” was a big time set-up episode, setting the stage for all the drama that’s going to go down this season. (If you haven’t watched yet, SPOILER ALERT.) The Situation is slithering up Snooki‘s miniskirt; Sammi is whimpering over Ronnie again; and Pauly D has, thank God, not yet inhaled enough hairspray fumes to think sex with Deena is a good idea. I am going to need six limoncello shots to cope if any of these housemates hook up with each other, let alone start dating.
After the jump, the good, the bad, and the WTF of last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore.” Keep reading »
Maybe it’s because I’ve come to expect little more than fist fights, hot tub hookups and peeing in public, but lately, approximately once an episode, I’ve noticed some serious words of wisdom coming from the mouths of the cast members of “Jersey Shore.” Last week, I was impressed by Deena‘s coinage of the phrase “female backpack.” This week it’s—and I can’t believe that I’m actually saying this—Ronnie who gave me something to think about. During a fight with Sammi he yelled, “I need a mind condom because you are mentally f**king me.”
Yeah. Let’s all take a moment to let Ronnie’s words sink in. Keep reading »
Sometimes being a feminist means sticking up for someone you hate when she is being treated wrong. That feminist is me and the person I hate is Angelina from “Jersey Shore.” Angelina is the embodiment of every awful characteristic in a human being: duplicitous, slimy, back-stabbing. None of her “Jersey Shore” cast members like or trust Angelina and call her the “Staten Island dump” to her face. Really, the girl’s lack of self-awareness would be amusing if it weren’t so sad.
One person does like Angelina, though: Jose, a gent from Miami who buys her a Fossil watch after two dates. Angelina takes the watch from Jose, but then “smushes” with Vinny during a drunken night of bad decisions. The cast will have none of this. They call Angelina a “whore” and a “slut.” The Situation goes up to Jose at the club one night to say Angelina has something she needs to tell him. Keep reading »
Stop the presses! Sammi finally grew a teeny-tiny backbone this weekend and quit “Jersey Shore.” According to sources at OK! magazine, the Jersey Shore’s dimmest bulb didn’t realize the horrifying range of Ronnie‘s wandering penis until last week’s episode aired. On Friday night, she allegedly had “a monster fight” with her slimeball on-again-off-again ex, ripped off her microphone and quit the show. “The door was left open for Sammi to return whenever she wanted, but she said ‘No way, not happening’ and is home,” the source said. But hold your applause. This is Sammi we’re talking about, remember? Girlfriend came crawling back like she always does. “After negotiations with producers,” she’s back in the house filming, the source says. And probably still in love with Ronnie. Is this girl the most codependent person you’ve ever met or what? [OK!] Keep reading »
Why do I keep watching this show about these terrible people? The “Jersey Shore”
gang is back and this time, it’s in Miami
is still a juiced up d-bag, JWoww
still has the temper of an enraged rhino, and it looks like Vinny
finally gets laid by Snooki and
Angelina. It all looks just as offensive-yet-entertaining as last season, but seriously, MTV
, where the hell
is the duck phone? [MTV.com
] Keep reading »