Last Friday, the weather was so lovely that I decided to walk home from work. On my way, I stopped by a deli and bought a big bunch of beautiful peonies, my favorite flower. They’re only in season for six weeks and I basically hoard them during that time. So anyway, a few blocks from my apartment, a guy in his early-’20s sidled up next to me and asked, “Who bought you flowers?”
“I bought them for myself,” I replied. Oh lord, what’s this dude want?
“Awwww,” he said with pity in his voice. “That’s so sad. A guy should be buying you flowers. I would.”
This, friends, is classic negging. Buying yourself flowers is sad! Flowers are supposed to be bought for you! By a mannnn! I should be flattered that this guy, who just declared my flower-buying “sad,” would buy me flowers. Little old sad me. What-the-fuck-ever. I rolled my eyes, uttered an “mmkay,” and detoured down another street.
The truth is, while it’s of course nice to get a bouquet from a dude, flowers are actually on the short list of so-called “romantic gifts” that boyfriends sometimes give that I would actually rather buy for myself. Allow me to explain… Keep reading »
Romance is project management. All successful romantic gestures are the result of one person observing, plotting and executing a plan. Sometimes the plan is big and bold like a prison break. Sometimes it’s quick like a commando raid. I had a girlfriend once who forgave me my comic book addiction and remembered that I was a fan of the character “Wolverine.” She randomly saw a “Wolverine” action figure on sale one day and bought it. Before I came over that night, she told me she was hanging out with a friend she wanted me to meet. They had ordered my favorite pizza and to hurry up. Wolverine was waiting for me on the couch. Keep reading »
Romance is dead.
That’s the consensus you could draw from five minutes on the dating scene. Instead of butterflies, hormones seem to be driving our coupling up. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing if all you want is sexual gratification. I’m only human: there’s been times I’ve just needed a roll in the hay. But I’m also a woman who loves romance — traditional, old school, stars-in-my-eyes romance — and I speak from personal experience that it’s not easy to find.
Alas, both men and women have forgotten how to woo each other. I wholeheartedly agreed with the actress Emma Watson when she told Vogue recently, “I’m a feminist, but I think that romance has been taken away a bit for my generation.”
Yesterday Amelia published a post called “Dating Don’ts: These 7 Romantic Gestures Need To Go.” Here in The Frisky’s office, we spent all morning fighting about it. A few of my fellow Frisky ladies would run for the hills if a dude bought them chocolate, serenaded them with a song [No, only a song that he misinterpreted as romantic. -- Editor], or showered rose petals on their bed. But me? That sounds like my perfect guy.
I respectfully disagree with you, Amelia, that romantic gestures can be cheesy or infantilizing. Romance is about stimulating the senses, creating an aura, and drawing someone in. Romance does not have to be dead, people! After the jump, five romantic gestures that need to stay. Keep reading »
The romantic gesture: a lovely thing or reserved for creepy stalkers? Blogger Joshua Lyon, writing for Thought Catalog, seems to feel that the romantic gesture is dying. He talks about being branded “scary intense” for writing a letter to a man he had a crush on and suggesting an old-fashioned correspondence. That seems rather sweet to me. Also, he mentions a time when a boyfriend pulled a “Say Anything” and played “In Your Eyes” on a boombox at his window, Lloyd Dobler-style. He found it to be “one of the bravest and most romantic things” anyone had ever done for him. I see what he’s getting at. The grand romantic gesture does deserve a rightful place in the world of wooing. But it can walk the fine line of “creepiness.” Romantic gestures only work when being done by the right person in the right way. For example, a guy I was dating once had a handwritten note couriered over to my office to ask me out on a date. Sweet! Another time, a man I had exchanged a smile with followed me home from the grocery store to leave a letter of admiration on my doorstep. Frightening! After the jump, the difference between sweet/romantic and creepy/romantic. [Thought Catalog] Keep reading »
Last week, I posted a poll about the romantic gestures that would actually make you swoon. While you voted in the thousands — with a surprise trip getting the most votes — I was struck by how many of you offered your own suggestions for romantic gestures in the comments. I noticed a few themes and compiled them into seven types of romantic gestures that make the biggest impression. Check ‘em out after the jump! (And please, continue to leave more swoon-worthy suggestions in the comments!) Keep reading »