Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are being even more confusing than usual this week. The December issue of Harper’s Bazaar hits newsstands soon, featuring the pair on the cover and in a hyper-romantic photo spread. The cover story is essentially all about their relationship—their first meeting (auditioning for “Twilight” and being thrown into a make-out scene together) and who is more romantic (Rob, apparently). Heck, for half of the story, the two even play the “Newlywed Game,” answering questions about who spends more time on their hair, who is more egotistical, and who is more superstitious. But wait, what’s this? In an Entertainment Weekly roundtable interview yesterday, Kristen got crazy worked-up and dropped a few f-bombs when asked about whether they are dating. Yeah, it’s really hard to understand why people want to know when you FAN THE FREAKING FLAMES.

Check out the photos and the best quotes from these interviews after the jump.

“I peaked at 12. There are so many photos from that time where I look unbearably awkward. I’d just be looking in random directions and stuff.”

—Robert Pattinson on his modeling roots in Harper’s Bazaar [ONTD]

• Robert Pattinson denies rumors that he and Kristen Stewart are dating in the December issue of Vanity Fair. Also in the story, he says he thinks he resembles a cartoon character and that one of his legs is longer than the other. [Vanity Fair]—This could be the first time the Tiger Beat crowd will rush to purchase a copy of Vanity Fair.
• Lindsay Lohan and Gerard Butler reportedly got cozy in Morocco on Sunday night, locking lips on the dance floor and then leaving together. [NY Daily News]—If this is true, Gerard is totally taking advantage of Lindsay, who still seems to be getting over Sam Ronson.
• Some people are saying Kate Hudson, who is dating Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, is a good luck charm for the team. Also, a source told Us Weekly that A-Rod is “less of a jerk” and “more free-spirited” now that he’s with her. [Us Weekly]—If he’s become less of a jerk, she’s a real miracle worker.

It’s hard to imagine Robert Pattinson as anything but a total stud who makes us cream our panties. But lo and behold, when director Catherine Hardwicke presented her casting choice to Twilight‘s producers, those goons weren’t sure this vampiric hunk was Edward material! (By his own admission, RPatz had been “getting drunk for a year” before.) In an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, Hardwicke dished:

“[The producers] called me up and they literally said, ‘Catherine, do you think you can make this guy look good?’ So I said, ‘Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to get his hair back to a different color, do a different style. He would work with a trainer from now on. My cinematographer is great with lighting. He will study the cheekbones, and I promise you, we’ll make the guy look good.’”

Mission accomplished, indeed. After the jump, a smoldering Pattinson pic from Vanity Fair‘s dee-lish slideshow:

Most heartthrobs get panties thrown at them. Robert Pattinson just gets panties. Hey, if your tampon leaks, Panties Pattinson can have actual blood dribbling down his chin! [Robert Pattinson Life]

Oh sweet Wednesdays, alleviating the happy hangovers of last weekend and preparing us for the crazy times that will be this weekend’s Halloween candy-corn binge. Just like the neighborhood kids, your favorite celebrities are also playing make-believe—although not voluntarily—in the pages of this week’s tabloids. Once again, we’ve compiled the super true-ish stories from this week’s ‘bloids for your unembarrassed perusal. Enjoy, cause this week’s are pretty major.

In a recent interview with the Sydney Morning Herald, Robert Pattinson said that he is totally bewildered by his fame and hopes that “New Moon” will calm down his rabid fans since he’s not the focus of the film. Yeah, fat chance on that. Still, Robert seems to have pretty good perspective on the whole thing. “I just don’t take any of it seriously,” he said. “It’s just a job and while it’s a job I love, girls scream out for Edward [Cullen], not Robert. I still can’t get a date.” Wait just a second. Robert “Sparkles” Pattinson can’t get a date?!?! Not only did he crush the Kristen Stewart rumors, but now fans are going to try to drag him home! [The Insider]

Interestingly, plenty of celebs lament the difficulties of dating while famous. After the jump, a selection of those who say it’s especially hard.

Have you guys heard of this guy Robert Pattinson? Apparently, he stars in some little indie movies called “Harry Potter” and “Twilight”? Well, apparently, lots of people—mainly of the teenage girl variety—are sooooo into him that he’s the subject of a new documentary called “Robsessed,” which is being distributed by Revolver Films and should be out before “New Moon.” The doc looks into his younger years and current life—how he got into acting, how he got cast in these flicks, what kind of socks he wears. Do they really think they’re going to sell more than five copies of this thing? [EW]

Robert Pattinson does his best James Dean impression on the cover of AnOther Man magazine.

I don’t know about you guys, but this has already been the longest week ever and I could use a vacay. But since that’s out of the question, we’ll have to take a vacation with our minds. What better way to do that than indulge in some trashy tabloid drama? We did the dirty work and packaged the headlines in short, easy-to-read blurbs, cause we like you that much!

 

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it through hump day. But even more importantly, new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy them, here’s the juiciest and, uh, most ultra-true stories from each.

It’s official: “Twilight” is the sell-out of the century. In fact, it could even be the sell-out of the millennium. I liked the books, but then there was the movie which spawned obnoxious Robert Pattinson fangirls and incessant Kristen Stewart gossip. This was followed by fugly “Twilight” gear and a weekly TV show dedicated to the making of “New Moon.” Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Summit and Creation Entertainment have teamed up to produce “Twlight” fan conventions. These ridic things are coming to a bunch of major U.S. cities, complete with panel discussions, parties, musical performances, screenings, competitions, auctions, and, of course, merchandising opportunities. Oh yeah, and celebs will show up for pics and autographs. The details are fuzzy but check out my predictions, after the jump. [NY Times]

• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were photographed at a concert in Vancouver recently, and it’s quite easy to assume they’re doing the nasty. [Dlisted]—The body language says it all.
• ”True Blood” actress Kristin Bauer says she thinks Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin will have children in the future because Anna is so good with Stephen’s children from another relationship. [E! Online]
• Hailey Glassman says Jon Gosselin was her “first love,” and she has also revealed that she started dating him a month before he and Kate announced their separation in June. [Us Weekly]—Too bad he hasn’t expressed the same feelings.

Stop the presses! “Twilight” won 11 awards at the Teen Choice Awards last night, and Robert Pattinson was voted “Choice Male Hottie.” Personally, I’m so tired of hearing about R-Patz and this vampy flick that I’m about to drive a stake through my heart. But, lucky for you, we’ve got the highlights of what else happened at this year’s teenybopper fest. After the jump, our fave “Twilight”-less Teen Choice moments.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart couldn’t hide their nerd love at a ComicCon conference for “New Moon.” Girl, if he still wants to bone you, despite the mullet, you know it’s L-O-V-E. [San Diego, 7/24/09]

Just like middle-aged actresses must feel threatened when they're upstaged by ingenues, famous heartthrobs notice when hot younguns infiltrate the Hollywood scene, too. Perhaps no new face is getting more attention than Robert Pattinson, and Justin Timberlake admits he kind of knocks him out of the ballpark. In a Twitter exchange with his GF Jessica Biel, who asked him, "Why aren't you sexy like Robert Pattinson?" he responded, "Because God loved him more than me." Grain of salt, grain of salt. (Though it begs the question: If you're a celeb in a relationship, wouldn't you rather flirt via text rather than Twitter!? Privacy much?) But moving on to more important asks, which of these famously hot dudes does it for you? Are you still feeling JT? Or if you were in junior high, would an RPatz poster now be in your locker? [E! Online]

Just when you thought he couldn’t get tastier, Robert Pattinson goes and puts on a suit. And man, does he clean up real nice! Of course, we’ll also take him in his usual dirty grunge hotness too. [NYC, 7/13/09]

Several tabloids this week did Michael Jackson tribute issues, which is to be expected. But there’s so much other trashy celebrity drama that we need to catch up on! We’ve practically forgotten all about Jon and whatsherface or Rihanna and so-and-so. I never thought I’d say this, but I kinda need more diverse hubbub in my life (no offense MJ), so thank goodness this week hit a few of our favorite drama mongers.