A woman in Germany robbed a pharmacy by squirting breast milk into the cashier’s eye, taking cash from the till, and running off.
Again: A woman in Germany robbed a pharmacy by squirting breast milk into the cashier’s eye, taking cash from the till, and running off.
This is obviously the best boob-related news item in recent history, beating out even Tri-Boob. There’s so much to love about it — I mean, just picture in your head being at Walgreens. You’re waiting in line to pick up your prescription. The woman ahead of you is ostensibly buying a breast pump. You happen to glance up from your phone just as the woman takes her boob out of her shirt, aims it at the cashier, and squeezes breast milk into his or her face. Boob still out, she grabs $100 (it was Euros, obviously, but work with me here) from the cash register, then bolts, resettling her boob into her shirt as she runs out the door. She leaves the breast pump on the counter. Keep reading »
An Annapolis woman was robbed while in labor — how’s that for a baby story? According to the AP the woman and her boyfriend were making her way to the hospital when they got held up by three men. Get this — the woman’s boyfriend fled. She is in labor, they’re getting robbed and he runs away. Let that sink in for a minute.
The robbers tried to make her let him into the apartment, but she didn’t have a key. Instead, they stole her car. Thankfully, police busted them shortly thereafter. (Had they instead noticed she was in labor and taken her in a car to the hospital, we would have the plot of a rom-com on our hands.) No word on how this poor woman is doing, but she deserves all the gold stars. And all the epidurals. It turns out that giving birth on the New York City sidewalk and a nearby local news crew catching it on tape is not the #1 Crap Terrible Horrible Way To Give Birth. [AP] [Image of pregnant belly via Shutterstock]
After all the crap that’s happened this week, we need a little positivity. Thankfully, we’ve got a double dose for you! First, there’s the story of radio personality Tom Joyner. He’d been impressed with the way witness Rachel Jeantel comported herself throughout the Trayvon Martin trial. On Wednesday, he invited Jeantel to his morning show, where he offered her a full college scholarship.
“Here’s my offer to you, if you want to graduate from high school and go to a HBCU [historically black college or university], even if it’s not in Florida but especially Florida, like Florida Memorial, Edward Waters, Bethune Cookman or FAMU, if you want to do that, I want to help you do that. I will help you get tutors to get you out of high school, tutors to help you pass the SAT and I will give you a full ride scholarship to any HBCU you’d like.”
Jeantel, who’s endured public scorn and criticism for everything from the way she talks (her first language is Creole) to the way she looks, hopes to one day pursue a career in law enforcement. Joyner will fund the scholarship via his Tom Joyner Foundation, and also funds several other ventures, including REACH Media and BlackAmericaWeb.com. He was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame in 1998.
And our other hero of the day is… Keep reading »
Tennessee’s got a modern Bonnie and Clyde on their hands! At around 3 p.m. on Saturday, in Crossville, Tennessee, a man and women approached the 52-year-old man outside his home; soon after, the woman asked her accomplice to fetch her cigarettes from their own house nearby. The male accomplice pretended to leave the premises while the woman asked the homeowner if she could take a nude dip in his backyard pool. Obviously, he granted her request. After swimming naked for 20 minutes (the homeowner watching her poolside the whole time), the woman hopped out and the homeowner gallantly handed her a towel. What a good neighbor! The only thing is, after she got dressed and left, the homeowner walked back inside to find he’d been robbed. Okay, so he’s missing $1,195 worth of jewelry, medications and a handgun. But he did get a free show. And some people would say that is priceless. [CNHI News Service] [Image of nude woman via Shuttershock]
I’m almost positive I’ve seen at least one episode of “CSI: Miami” that goes exactly as follows: A few women team up to seduce some unsuspecting men in sleazy clubs. The men are incapacitated in some way and then robbed. Oddly enough, this is actually happening in real life.
That is, of course, if you consider what goes on in southern Florida to be real life. Keep reading »
“Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” cast member Lisa Vanderpump and her constant four-legged companion, Gigolo, were robbed while staying at the Soho Grand Hotel in Manhattan. Here’s what Lisa had to say about the violation:
“I had four purses valued at just over $8,000 including two Christian Louboutins, one Louis Vuitton and one Chanel. Those were my signature bags. Boy do I feel violated. They told me I should have put my purses in the room’s safe. Come on, the safe wasn’t big enough to fit a wallet inside. The room is suppose to be safe.”
Keep reading »