I don’t watch that show “Styl’d” on MTV because 11 p.m. is past my bedtime and I don’t understand why the title has the missing “e” and an odd apostrophe, but I might be interested in seeing a spin-off featuring worst employee ever, Tara. Tara is one of the gals competing for, uh, something (a contract with a stylist’s company or agency?), but she totes hates her boss, despite acting nice to her face. But behind the scenes, in this outtake, Tara licks her boss’s glasses, puts her toothbrush in the toilet, and spits in her orange juice. (After gargling with it! Nice touch!) It’s revolting.

It made me wonder—have any of you ever exacted revenge upon a boss, coworker, or any other enemy with this kind of behavior? I used to work at a coffee shop in college and hated some of my regular customers, but the worst I ever did to them was swap non-fat milk for whole. Fess up, naughty kids!

I’ve had a couple messy breakups, but mostly they involve me being “crazy” and him being “incompetent.” Or maybe me breaking into his house and introducing the contents of my stomach to the inside of his boot? Whatever. A Houston woman brought on the crazy this week when she fried and ate her common-law husband’s goldfish! There were seven beloved goldfish which the couple bought together back when they weren’t so dysfunctional, but the couple had just had a fight about some jewelry her man bought her and took back. When the officers arrived at their apartment, she was at the dinner table with four fried fishies on her plate. (She told the po-po that she’d already eaten the other three!) No charges were filed as the case was considered a “civil matter.”

Um, there’s nothing civil about eating house pets! For her sake, I hope they were battered and deep fried because I just spent the last half hour thinking about goldfish texture and gagging (where’s that other boot?), but maybe with some tarter sauce and fries they’d be edible? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done as a lover scorned? [AOL]

Usually when a man finds himself tied to a bed, he’s having a freaky good time. But for one husband, who was cheating on his wife with two women, what sounded like sexy time with one of his lovers was really a revenge plot. When she found out her man was sleeping around, instead of going after her husband’s two lovers, the wife contacted them and they banded together in the name of scorned women everywhere. The girls got scheming, and a few days later put their very “9 to 5” plan into action. The husband thought he was meeting lover Therese Ziemann for a tryst at a Wisconsin motel. He allowed her to tie him to the bed with the sheets and to blindfold him for a “massage.” Ziemann quickly texted the man’s wife, his second lover and, just for kicks, her own sister, who was secretly waiting outside. The women burst into the room and began taunting the bound man. But they really “stuck it to him” when Ziemann super-glued his penis to his stomach. The man eventually got loose by chewing off his sheet cuffs and calling the police. Now, the women face charges of assault and false imprisonment for their creative revenge tactic. Too bad that the whole cheating-on-your-wife-with-multiple-women part isn’t punishable by law. [MSNBC] 

As if a thong bikini wasn’t hard enough to wear already, a German company has created one that dissolves in water within seconds. Um, what’s the point of a swimsuit that disappears when wet? Well, supposedly the company is marketing the Get Naked Bikini as a way for spurned dudes to embarrass their old girlfriends. Spike.com called it “The Ultimate Revenge Gift.”  Uh huh, cause nothing says “I still love you” quite like getting an itty-bitty bikini from your ex, right ladies? Sheesh, we can see right through this trick, literally. [Spike]

“Be careful who you cheat on” isn’t a famous, old adage, but it should be, because some scorned women go freaking crazy trying to get revenge on unfaithful spouses. Just last night, a 67-year-old woman in Queens, NY, woke up at 6 a.m., boiled a pot of water, and poured it on her husband’s private parts, leaving him with second- and third-degree burns from his knees to his abdomen. Oyinda Ojofeitimi told police she had recently learned her husband of 20 years had been unfaithful. “She was hurt and angry that after all this time married, he was stepping out on her,” a police source told the New York Daily News. “She wanted to shut down that possibility forever because he had treated her with such contempt.” Ojofeitimi then regretted what she had done and called 911, but that’s not really enough, is it? She has been arrested on assault charges. This isn’t the first time (and it certainly won’t be the last) that a woman has retaliated against her cheating husband. After the jump, a hall of fame for scorned women.

Well-known peacenik Mahatma Ghandi famously proclaimed, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Sorry, Ghandi, but I beg to disagree. The sad fact is, there are times in a lady’s life when revenge tastes pretty sweet. (Even in a blind taste test.)

One of those times is after some cad shatters your tender little heart into a billion tiny shards. Sure, embracing the gloom is one way of dealing, but who are you really hurting by forcing ice cream down your pie-hole whilst weeping over Lifetime movies and stalking his Facebook page? Answer: Yourself. 

Wouldn’t it be more fun to hurt him? The dude who done you wrong?

Yesterday, 37-year old Helen Sun handcuffed herself to her estranged husband to keep him from leaving. Sun told investigators that she just wanted to talk—don’t we all?—and the only way she could get hubby to listen was by tying him up….

Over at Tracie Egan’s blog One D At A Time, she writes about a recent fight she had with her fiance, in which she was left so enraged (and convinced that they were through) that she put his electric guitar in her bathtub and proceeded to pee on it over the course of a day. Oh, and she had her period too, “so it was extra destructive and stinky. The guitar, of course, is ruined.”

This anecdote is buried within a larger post about the Rihanna/Chris Brown scandal and she tells it as a way of conveying what it’s like to be both the offender and the offendee. And while the context of the post is sad—the image of Rihanna post-beating is at the bottom—this particular nugget made me almost wet myself. Haven’t we all done something out of control to the one we love/like in a crazy rage? I have. Years ago, when I was drunk and out on the town, the guy I loved (loved, like, madly) told me he had a new girlfriend—in a rage (he had waited to tell me this information until after I had taken an eight hour bus ride down to visit him in D.C.) I kind of, sort of, maybe shoved him into oncoming traffic. He didn’t get hurt at all, thank god, and somehow has forgiven me. We’re even friends! What’s the nuttiest thing you’ve ever done when you’ve been pissed at a significant other?

No need to annoy all your girlfriends with that story of what happened between you and that hipster DJ, Sorry-Mom.com is a website that let’s any woman spill her tale of woe and whoa.  Page after page, women pour over their crappy sexual encounters.  Each story comes complete with the dude’s picture (Bonus! Though his eyes are always blacked out, to “protect” privacy) and a blurb. It’s the kind of dirt that’ll make a girl smirk with empathy! With a vicious bent like trash talking a guy’s Johnson, I expect the site to be run by a spurned divorcee ala Tricia “Crazy Eyes” Walsh-Smith of Park Avenue. Bitching about boys and literally hitting them below the belt seems like such a mean girl thing to do. And it begs the question, why isn’t there a version of this site so guys can rant?  I’ve heard some things about ladies that made my jaw drop.  But, would a man ever care enough to write a paragraph that admits to their broken heart, then diss the chick, add a pic and email it in, just for the satisfaction of ranting? Do guys seek emotional revenge….and at the grandiose level of the internet? May be we should all be grateful that so far, the answer is no.

Well if you feel like laughing like you just don’t care, here are our favorite tales from “I Bang The Worst Dudes” after the jump…

You can get anything from the Internet, even an STD! RevengeCrabs.com is a site dedicated to selling spurned lovers genital lice, otherwise known as crabs.  If you thought your breakup fight had bite, it’s got nothing on what these lil’ buggers can do once they start snapping at a crotch. The eggs are so cheap and easy to purchase and use, this “settling the score” is sadistic like nothing else we’ve ever seen! And the mad scientists behind this lab have already expanded their line of lice to include shampoo resistant super crabs, bedbugs, and are even working on developing chlamydia and the clap for consumer use. But what could drive someone to go to this kind of extreme, let alone develop a business plan?  These CEO frat bros claim they all got crabs back in college by the same woman and now they want revenge on the world. Even scarier, they promise this kind of payback is totally legal. Right…. Oh yeah, and just to add that extra creep factor, they offer school children tours of their facilities.  We’re itchy just thinking about these buggin’ business dirt bags. [Trend Hunter]

After J. broke up with me my senior year in high school, I was pissed. Livid. Just a few weeks earlier, he told me he loved me, we went to prom and all was glorious in the world. What the heck? After a few weeks of having an intimate rebound relationship with a box of Kleenex, I became dead-set on making his life as unpleasant as he had made mine.

In order to exact my revenge, my best friend and I went to the mall where the kids who went to his high school always hung out. We approached every high-school aged girl we could find, asked if she knew J., and then told her to stay away from him and his terrible case of back-ne. Mature? Hell no. Satisfying? Undeniably.

Though I think my plan was rather brilliant, I probably would have received some nice inspiration had Alison Grambs’ book “The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting Even” been around in 1994. In it, she offers all sorts of perfectly legal yet wholly satisfying ways to get back at the Js —i.e. the complete and total jerks—of the world. After the jump, find a sampling of her I-will-not-go-down-quietly strategies.

As I’m sure you’re well aware, there are many good reasons to have sex. In fact, sometimes you don’t need any reason at all—other than, say, loving your partner.

However, sometimes a lady finds herself doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons. That’s what we’re here to cover. So if you find yourself in any of the following situations, please extricate yourself as quickly as possible:

Revenge: The most popular very-wrong reason to have sex, revenge sex never ends well. Hooking up with his best friend because you’re angry at your boyfriend will get you nowhere. If you do manage to break up their friendship, then you’re stuck with an untrustworthy dude (if he did it to him, he’ll do it to you). Even worse, there’s always the (strong) possibility that he went right back and told his buddy and the two of them are now comparing notes over high-fives and hot wings.

Infidelity, betrayal and abuse are very difficult things to forgive, but most people resist the urge to cause a partner bodily-harm. However, there are some women that go against their better judgment and exact revenge on their guy. Most recently, the Premier of the Turks & Caicos Islands, Michael Misick, claims that his estranged wife, actress Lisa Raye McCoy-Misick, attacked him at his mansion in Turks & Caicos. She claims that she was refused entry to their home and was forcibly removed. In any event, both were taken to the hospital for bite injuries. “Whilst it is my sincere wish to avoid unnecessary conflict, I shall not be intimidated, nor shall those individuals whose job it is to protect and represent me,” said a statement released by Lisa Raye. The Misick’s separated after rumors of an affair between the premier and BET on-air personality Rocsi surfaced.

While I hate to admit that I’m throwing up a girl-power fist right now, I can’t help to think of all the other famous and not-so famous women that got revenge on their guys for infidelity or mistreatment, whether real or perceived. So check out this list after the jump.