“We judge in areas where we feel insecure, and we pick people who are doing worse than we are. I think when you hear someone snark at someone about something, that’s clear as day that person has some real shame around that issue. When I’m really on that judgment train I have to stop and think, ‘What am I feeling?’ If I’m comfortable in my body, in my work, I don’t care about yours … [These judgements and shame manifest for] women, [through] appearance, body image, motherhood. It’s perfectionism: do it all, look perfect doing it … Women talk about other women’s appearance. We do it unthinkingly, and we’re not awake. If we want to be free and out from under the shame and the heaviness of not being enough, if we want to be valued, we have to practice vulnerability. We have to do the hard things.”
–Brene Brown talks to Salon about how to combat snark and other themes in her new book Daring Greatly. If you’re not familiar with Brene Brown, I highly recommend watching her TED talk on the power of vulnerability. It really moved me and shifted some of my thought paradigms. I can’t wait to read her new book, which delves into the “social climate of scarcity” and how we can all live more daringly. I’m glad someone is thinking about these big picture, cultural issues. Should we figure out how to evolve as a society, I think we should throw Brene Brown a party. [Salon]
Everybody’s got one: a friend who just won’t shut up about how awesome his or her partner is. If you’re single, there is no way you want to hear your friend prattle on about their special little flower of a relationship. Mikala Bierma and Emmy Blotnick know exactly what we’re talking about, which is why they made the very instructional “Asshole In A Relationship” video series. [Blackbook]
Karley Sciortino is the lady behind the hilarious sex blog Slutever — and now she’s the new face of Vice’s sex vlog. In her debut episode, she attempts to uncover the secrets of successful dating by asking a few “experts” — including her mom, a love expert, a gay prostitute and a neuro-scientist. This isn’t necessarily SFW, but it’s definitely worth a watch. See it after the jump! [Vice]
UPDATE: We’re trying to get the video to play. Sorry!
Here’s a fun one for you. Let me say first: People never cease to impress me with their strangeness. This week, in Slate’s Dear Prudence column, a woman ponders whether or not she should date the guy at the gym who SNIFFED HER SWEATY BICYCLE SEAT. Keep reading »
I think it’s so annoying when girls won’t eat a big meal in front of their date, or just have to wear a full face of makeup whenever a guy they like is around. We’re humans, not dolls with no organs, and last time I checked, men feel pretty comfortable burping and the rest around us. This piece on Madame Noire listing “7 things you should be comfortable doing around your man” is right on target. Unless he accepts you the way you are, it isn’t true love! Read more …
If nothing else, this website is devoted to helping you find a mate … using science. After all, attracting a partner is still a thankless chore full of wearing pants and pretending to care.
Or is it? Turns out there are even more things that get people to consider knowing us in the biblical way, and they’re so subtle and random that pants-wearing just seems stupid now. Things like … Read more …