My boyfriend Nick and I recently made a new relationship rule: as soon as either of us feels any inkling of a bad mood coming on, we tell each other ASAP. Just a quick heads up, like, “Hey, I’m feeling a little irritable right now.” Announcing your bad mood before it causes a problem lets your partner know they shouldn’t take any crankiness personally, and forces you to be accountable for your own emotions. This is such a quick, easy thing to do, but it has worked wonders for our relationship. The success of the Bad Mood Rule inspired me to compile a list of other quick, easy tips that just might save your relationship. Read on for 10 more ideas from The Frisky ladies and me, and please feel free to add your own tips in the comments! Keep reading »
I think Mary Kay Beckman wins the award for the worst online date of all time. We complain about our online dates with weirdos and shitbirds (there have been a lot), but we’ve got nothing on her awful date. The 50-year-old real estate agent is suing Match.com for $10 million because her date tried to kill her. After a week of dating, Wade Ridley tried to stab her to death. “He broke into my garage … When the police arrested him, he said he wasn’t there to hurt me. He was there to kill me. His intent was to kill me that night.” Ridley stabbed Beckman 10 times with a butcher knife, and when the knife broke, he stomped on her head. Keep reading »
So, I’ve still been thinking a lot about the New York Times’ assertion that courtship has kicked the bucket. I jotted down some thoughts about that. You can read them here. One point that the piece makes that I agree with is that lots of daters out there — men and women both — are unclear about the difference between a date and a non-date. Let’s review a few “dating experiences” cited in the piece… Keep reading »
Whenever I tell people that I write about relationships, the first thing they want to know is the most commonly asked questions we receive. Next, of course, they want to know what my answers are to said questions. When it first started happening, I would get kind of nervous, especially if I was being put on the spot by a bunch of guys who didn’t think I could possibly know anything about the male mind. Let me tell you, proving them wrong is one of the best feelings ever!
In time, however, I got it down and could quickly rattle off brief, yet on-point, answers to even the most seemingly tricky relationship dilemmas. After getting grilled for what felt like the trillionth time the other week, I decided that I should make an article out of my “bite sized” answers to the most common relationship questions. Read more…
Contrary to what guys might think, there are many women out there who are not opposed to going to strip clubs … under the appropriate circumstances.
That time you got dragged to a strip club by your cokehead, college boyfriend and he made you stuff dollar bills in panties or that time your guy friend thought a stripper wanted to sleep with him so he made you hang out with him all night waiting for her, those strip club adventures were not exactly your idea of a good time. But there were other times when you enjoyed yourself. That time you blew off work and met your boyfriend at a local strip joint in the middle of the afternoon or when you went with all your lesbian friends in Vegas. FUN!
Chances are, if you ask, many women are down to go watch some pole action. But there are a few caveats. Click through for the DOs and DON’Ts of taking your lady to a strip joint.
Have you ever gotten a text from a dude and had no idea how to respond? Like, something vague like “what’s up” or “thanks for last night” or “stop calling me, you’re creeping me out”? There’s a new website called He Texted that helps take the mystery out of dude messages. Girls post texts they’ve received from guys and readers then vote on whether they think the guy is into it, over it, or if they’re not sure. So simple, but yet so necessary. (Though generally? If you have to ask, he’s probably not that into you).
The site also offers personal advice from two bros — Ben, who calls himself a “dude whisperer,” and Mason, who is a self-proclaimed douchebag. “Hey there,” says Mason.”I’m kind of a douchebag, who knows many other douchebags. If you are having a douchebag situation, hit me up. Pretty sure I’ll be able to tell you exactly what’s going on. Oh and for the record, it’s not that I don’t like you, I just have a short attention span.” Ah, so that explains it. [He Texted]
Depending on your mood and romantic history, you’ll either find the love story of “Breaking Bad” actor Aaron Paul and his fiancee Lauren Parsekian to be hopelessly adorable or nauseatingly saccharine. During Paul’s Emmy acceptance speech Sunday night, he thanked his “beautiful, inspiring fiancée … Thank you so much for looking at me the way that you do, you truly saved me.” We love Aaron Paul, for obvious reasons, and Parsekian, who is ridiculously gorgeous, seems pretty cool, too — she’s the cofounder of the Kind Campaign, which works with abused and bullied young girls. There’s, like, a lot of love between these two, and they’ve documented it in interviews, photos and endless Twitter posts about one another. We’ve captured the most, um, intense Twitter exchanges between these two lovebirds for your enjoyment. You tell us — is it too cute or too much?
“We judge in areas where we feel insecure, and we pick people who are doing worse than we are. I think when you hear someone snark at someone about something, that’s clear as day that person has some real shame around that issue. When I’m really on that judgment train I have to stop and think, ‘What am I feeling?’ If I’m comfortable in my body, in my work, I don’t care about yours … [These judgements and shame manifest for] women, [through] appearance, body image, motherhood. It’s perfectionism: do it all, look perfect doing it … Women talk about other women’s appearance. We do it unthinkingly, and we’re not awake. If we want to be free and out from under the shame and the heaviness of not being enough, if we want to be valued, we have to practice vulnerability. We have to do the hard things.”
–Brene Brown talks to Salon about how to combat snark and other themes in her new book Daring Greatly. If you’re not familiar with Brene Brown, I highly recommend watching her TED talk on the power of vulnerability. It really moved me and shifted some of my thought paradigms. I can’t wait to read her new book, which delves into the “social climate of scarcity” and how we can all live more daringly. I’m glad someone is thinking about these big picture, cultural issues. Should we figure out how to evolve as a society, I think we should throw Brene Brown a party. [Salon]
Everybody’s got one: a friend who just won’t shut up about how awesome his or her partner is. If you’re single, there is no way you want to hear your friend prattle on about their special little flower of a relationship. Mikala Bierma and Emmy Blotnick know exactly what we’re talking about, which is why they made the very instructional “Asshole In A Relationship” video series. [Blackbook]
Karley Sciortino is the lady behind the hilarious sex blog Slutever — and now she’s the new face of Vice’s sex vlog. In her debut episode, she attempts to uncover the secrets of successful dating by asking a few “experts” — including her mom, a love expert, a gay prostitute and a neuro-scientist. This isn’t necessarily SFW, but it’s definitely worth a watch. See it after the jump! [Vice]
UPDATE: We’re trying to get the video to play. Sorry!