It can be confusing to sort out your feelings for someone, especially if you’ve been in a committed relationship with them for a long time. We make up all kinds of crazy reasons to stick together rather than break up, but just because you’ve been together a long time, that doesn’t mean it’s healthy for you. There are lots of obvious reasons to break up, but the ones on this list disguise themselves as reasons to stay together.
1. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”/”He’s such a good person”/”He’s a great boyfriend.” In every other area of life, not doing anything wrong does not earn you an A+. It earns you a passing grade, but a passing grade is not the same as a stellar significant other. Not doing anything wrong does not equate to doing everything right. You deserve someone who is more than a C. Read more on Your Tango….
What is love? (Baby don’t hurt me.) It’s pretty likely that everyone is going to experience something akin to love at some point in their life. And maybe the fact that I have to use some awkward, twattish, old-school word like “akin” speaks to the confusing nature of the subject. There’s a fine line between love and infatuation, or lust, or a half chub you get whilst daydreaming about Scarlett Johansson. And for all the poems and novels and movies and songs on the subject, there’s a surprising lack of information on what to do with the damn emotion once you have it, short of tweeting to a celebrity about how you want them to murder your vagina (or mangina, depending on context), or how to deal with it when things go wonky on you. So why not give that a spin? Read more on Cracked…
Is your computer affecting your relationship? According to a survey conducted by Crucial.com, probably.
Dating in this tech-obsessed era isn’t easy, but now that just about everyone has a computer, is hooked on a social networking site or two and has an email account they’re constantly checking, it has become even more frustrating.
In fact, according to the survey two out of every five U.S. adults who reported having a computer also reported having computer-related issues in their relationship. Read more…
I like to consider myself a strong and independent woman. I live alone; I take care of myself and never waiver in my beliefs. I’ve managed to convince myself that I’m fearless; I look confrontation in the eye and am without regret in my behavior – even when it isn’t the most flattering or well thought-out way to handle certain situations. I am, admittedly, a hot head.
I do not allow others to define me, put me in a box labeled by how they see me and will scream at the top of my lungs before I’ll ever let someone try to silence me. I am all these things; I have been all these things, and years from now these expectations that I have for myself will still be true. I don’t give a fuck who might be angered or won’t agree along the way. In the words of the great sailor, Popeye, “I am what I am.”
However, there were a few years in there, the dark years, that I was not all these things. When it came to Christoffer, I was a shadow. Keep reading »
I’m just going to come clean: I hate every woman my husband has ever dated.
I won’t apologize for it or try to get over it. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will always hate them to some degree, depending on the depth of their relationship. If she was a random hook up, I’ll hate her slightly less than if she was a serious long term girlfriend. Regardless, I hate them all. Keep reading »
Last week’s Hitched column was all about the “myth of the happily married woman,” challenging the idea that marriage is some kind of natural state of being for women, who are biologically and culturally destined to need a man to complete their happiness.
Whether you believe in the Man Jesus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it is a cruel supreme being, indeed, who would create women to be destined for lovey-dovey hearts-and-rainbows partnership, and create ramblin’ men only to burp and drink beer and stick their penises in the closest convenient hole. Keep reading »
The first and only time my husband called me a “nag” invoked a cringe-worthy shudder, followed by the thought, “Am I seriously turning into my mother?!” In my personal catalog of unsavory labels, “nag” occupies a space somewhere between “brownnoser” and “snob,” insults I neither want to be called nor become, yet sting fiercely because they often embody a flicker of truth. No woman aspires to be a nag. Yet the moniker remains synonymous with marriage, as though men across the globe all spat, “Nag!” when the word “Wife” is drawn in those psychological word association tests.
The stereotype that all wives are nags is filed neatly under another catalog of mine, the Marriage Myths List. My favorite examples include “married couples don’t have sex” (really?), “all husbands are under the thumb” (mine’s not), and “new moms inevitably let themselves go” (yes, she’s a model, but has anyone seen Miranda Kerr lately?). Since I am in the business of debunking matrimonial fables, it’s worthwhile to expose the easy and cliché tag for wives who mean well everywhere. Truthfully, nagging should be defined as a breakdown in communication that can characterize any relationship, not just marriage. Keep reading »
Couples fight. We know this. Even the most functional couples have spats now and again. Relationship fights, they happen.
However, there are many relationship fights that happen that can be avoided. Because let’s face it — the more stress and fighting a relationship has, the less enjoyable it is.
Here are some common relationship fights and how to (hopefully) avoid them. Read more…
A few months ago my fiancée and I watched an episode of “Thirtysomethings” when Elliot and Nancy start seeing a marriage counselor. At first they are both embarrassed and ashamed, and neither wants their circle of friends to know. But as it goes in a television show, the secret gets out and they both feel like crap.
Call me a stereotypical New Yorker, but I love therapy and never understood why people are embarrassed or ashamed about it. I also never got why people wait until they feel like breaking up to start couples’ therapy. Therapy got me through adolescence, depression, disorder, and my relationship with my fiancée. Keep reading »