I am an Aries (3/28/89 at 4:25 a.m.) and the guy is a Libra (10/2/1987). We’ve been dating for two years. However, since late last year, he has been having what I call an “early life crisis.” He wants to hang out with his friends and he restarted his friendship with an ex-girlfriend; there is hardly time for us anymore. Our last conversation became heated when we didn’t listen to what each other had to say. I ranted about how I felt about the direction of our relationship, but the conversation soured quickly. He wants to “figure things out.”
He is learning to grow up on his own after a difficult life with his family. He understands that our relationship has become problematic, and he repeatedly explains that he’s just confused on the direction of his life. I’ve been really patient with him for the past couple months, but I do not know how much longer I can be. I’d like to sit down and talk things out with him, but there’s no effort by him to do so. I feel conflicted on what to do — can we reconcile as a couple or are we better off on our own separate ways? – Confused Aries Keep reading »
I (1/22/89) have been in and out of a serious relationship with my ex (3/04/88) for almost two years. We hit it off right away, but I was leaving for a few months and he didn’t want to do a long distant thing. We dated anyway and things got very serious. After I left, he visited and asked me out. I tried to keep the relationship light, despite my feelings, because I was young and we were far away. However, the biggest problem was he had mood swings and got really nasty. We had one big fight and broke up, but he said he still had feelings for me. We continued to date without having a title because he did not want to. Keep reading »
I (5/10/85) have been dating my boyfriend (6/27/78) for about a year and a half now. Our relationship is the best I’ve ever been in. We hardly fight (and not because one of us is holding something back, we are just highly compatible) and we like a lot of the same things. Our feelings about family, religion, and relationships are also similar.
But after over a year of dating, my boyfriend has yet to tell me he loves me. I brought up the topic about three months ago and he said, “Do I need to spell it out? Don’t my actions show you how I feel?” (I’m the first girl he’s ever introduced to his family and all his friends.) Then he said he hasn’t said the “L” word because there’s something “missing” between us. Keep reading »
Passive aggressive behavior is probably on most people’s list of annoying qualities in another person. Scratch that, passive aggressive behavior usually falls into the category of legit reasons to banish someone for your life. I have never been pro passive aggression, in fact, I get rather peeved when someone pulls the hot/cold routine on me. I think my thoughts on passive aggression and its unfailing ability to make any situation worse is probably shared by most of you. Over the past week or so I have posted on the complexities of friendship, especially girlfriendship, and many of you commented that the tendency for girls to engage in passive aggression was one of the number one reasons you did not pursue female friendships. I was totally on board with this popular sentiment until I realized that not only have I been acting all passive aggressive myself this week, but I was glad I had. Keep reading »
I (8/31/84) have a great man (11/6/86) who couldn’t have a leisurely chat to save his life. He’s of the mindset that he will only speak if it’s of dire importance. The days I feel like being the listener are terrible — filled with awkward silences, where I seek solace in chattier friends and make him feel inadequate. The problem is I’m considering moving in with him after two years of long distance. The times we’ve visited each other are great, because actions really do speak louder than words and he never fails to make me feel like a goddess in person. This only partially quells my fears, because he’s made it very clear he wants to marry me. What is marriage without great communication? I’ve never been with the strong, silent type before, and we get in spats over it all the time. This is our only weak point. I know he’s a great man and I want this to work out. Scorpios have physical down pat, but I am barking up the wrong tree expecting him to ravish my body and my mind? – Verbal Virgo Keep reading »
I’m a 21-year-old Virgo and this guy I’ve been seeing is a 21-year-old Gemini. Things have been good off and on since last November. We haven’t been exclusively dating because he wants to take things slowly and he just got out of an off/on again relationship with another Virgo. He warned me that he is pretty much a typical Gemini. We get along great and we communicate very well… when we want to. We both have a tendency to hide things, but these days things have been really open between the two of us. He and I broke up twice in the first three months of dating. (I dumped him the second time because he wanted to date other people.) Keep reading »
When I questioned a friend about why she was marrying a guy whom she found only mildly attractive, didn’t enjoy having sex with and wasn’t in love with, she told me this: “Marriage isn’t about love, it’s about finding the person who gets on your nerves the least.”
I recall being both horrified and saddened by her cynicism. But as I pondered it further, I wondered if she might have a point. I was single at the time. A long-term relationship had gone bust a few years earlier and after a hyper-extended mourning period I’d been dating a seemingly non-stop parade of utterly unsuitable suitors. Keep reading »
My favorite sex and relationship columnist, Dan Savage, is now on Nerve and a few days ago he tackled a question from a woman who revealed she started talking marriage with her boyfriend three months into their relationship. Savage balked at this admission. His response, after the jump…
Keep reading »
Please help, I can’t tell who the true top in my relationship is! I’m an Aquarian woman (2/6/72, 3:51 pm, Providence, RI) who has been dating a Virgo man (9/11/66, 1:59 am, Concord, NH) for four months. He told me he loved me within a week of dating, and has not hidden the fact that he would love to get married. We slept together on the first date, even though he has only been with a couple of women and claims to be very against casual hookups (I admit to seducing him). We are both extremely kinky, and have great sexual chemistry.
My question involves which one of us is really the top. I’m an extremely dominant female, and he is very much the man’s man. While he seems to love his rightful place underneath me, sometimes he turns the tables on me out of the blue and pulls rank as the man of the house. I like both apparent sides to his personality coin, but I do worry that perhaps he’s allowing me to do things he doesn’t enjoy because he cares for me so much. I sense a hidden romantic under his tough exterior. I’m also already married to a woman, and although they have always known about each other (my wife and I are polyamorous), he does get jealous at times and I wonder if he will eventually push me to choose him or her. – Aroused Aquarian Keep reading »
“I’m a Libra woman (10/01/85) dating a Gemini woman (05/30/86). We started as friends, but then developed an attraction to each other. I’m a lesbian, but she made all the first moves, even though she identified as straight. She introduced herself, gave me her phone number, invited me over, asked me to be her girlfriend, etc. I feel like I can’t trust her because she has a lot of guy ‘friends,’ some are closer then others. When I try to get intimate with her, she pulls away and says, ‘If I let you, that’s when things will get crazy and I’ll want you all the time.’
I’m a virgin and I feel like she is having sex with other people. I tried talking to her about it, but she says it’s not all about sex. She always talks about herself and hardly anyone knows we’re together. I like her a lot, but I feel she could care less, though she claims to. I’m lost. Help!” – Lost Libra Keep reading »