While I am on this “break” with the man friend (it remains unclear how long this break will last, FYI), I’ve sworn off certain movies, TV shows, and songs out of fear that they’ll make me depressed. A friend of mine went through a breakup recently and all she did was listen to Morrissey, but wallowing is not really my heartbreak style. I like avoidance and denial. Obviously, I can’t avoid these aspects of pop culture forever and will need to work them gradually back into my life, but for now, there will be no “General Hospital”, or Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend”, or Reese Witherspoon movies. See the rest of the list of Pop Culture No-No’s, after the jump. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: relationship advice
My boyfriend and I have been together for just under 2 ½ years and at the risk of sounding gag-arrific, I’ve really never been happier. Not only do we love each other, but we actually like each other a lot, too — two things I’ve learned don’t always go hand in hand. We have tons in common, have a great time together, always make each other laugh, and never run out of stuff to talk about. Among some of our topics of conversations are: vacation plans, buying a place in Brooklyn, having kids (when, why, and what to name them), and whether, when we’re old and gray, we’ll be like the senior couples we see in the park sometimes who hold hands on the bench and swap sections of the Sunday New York Times. One of the topics that doesn’t crop up in our conversations very much, despite everything else we discuss, is marriage, something it seems like a lot of people — my family, especially — can’t seem to understand.
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My relationship status is in limbo. Eight days ago I was engaged. Now I don’t know what I am. I’m not single, but I’m certainly feeling an aloneness that I haven’t felt in four and half years — it’s traumatizing and weirdly liberating all at once. During the first few days of this new stage of my life, I found it impossible to get out of bed, my bones ached, and I had a strong desire to sleep for the next 100 years. But since then I’ve discovered how to pick myself back up and offer to you 10 tips for surviving the first week of heartbreak.
10. Pop Pills: Obtained legally and under the advisement of your doctor, of course. Let’s face it, the first few days, it’s really hard to conceive of life being worth living. I don’t care if you’re all girl power strong and resilient — heartbreak can knock the wind out of any Calamity Jane. that’s why I can vouch for the effectiveness of a nice, doctor-prescribed dose of anti-depressants and sleeping meds to take the edge off. Sleep your ass off and after a couple deep dreams, you’ll wake up feeling refreshed.
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Whether it’s sitting in silence during dinner or enduring the long, uncomfortable pauses when he’s out with you and your friends, dating a shy guy can create some incredibly frustrating situations. What you might not realize, however, is that inspiring an introverted date to open up is surprisingly simple. “With a shy guy, you have to take the lead more often,” says Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., a recurring guest psychologist on “The Today Show” and author of “Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love”. “It may seem like a challenge, but once you give him a few little pushes in the right direction, he’ll open up to you with ease.” Find Dr. Kirschner’s hints on how to encourage your guy to take a walk on the wildly talkative side, after the jump… Keep reading »
While everyone on “Gossip Girl” is complaining of the intense heat, mid-blackout, nary a hair out of place, the rest of us know that though humidity is sticking it out, summer has come to an end. (Unless you are very, very wealthy and you can find summer any time of year.)
As Wall Street falters and the Presidential candidates politic their way into November, what is to become of your summer fling? Will you vote for him in the fall? Or will you change parties and send him packing? Sure you spent many a wine-filled eve, smelling of suntan lotion and getting sand in your pants — but is your romance seasonal? Or can it sustain Thanksgiving with your family (and the cold)?
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Fantasize about dating a rock star? Who doesn’t? They’re sexy, mysterious, oh-so-dangerous, and, apparently, insanely wild in bed. If you wanna make like Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson, Liv Tyler, or Cameron Diaz, but you’re all hung up on your lack of a Hollywood pedigree, mega-wattage celebrity, or rock star funds, fret no longer, my sister. You, too, can land yourself a music man — without looking all “groupie” — with the help of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star, a land-a-rock-star manual by Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna, who’s married to a rock star herself. Keep reading »
Everybody has a “type.” Personally, I like a man with a big schnozz — bonus points if he’s got a collection of acne scars a lá Tommy Lee Jones. My pal Annie likes preppy men — but only after they’ve gone to seed and become a little bloated in the process. Suzanne has a weakness for thin Japanese guys who like indie rock music, while Maddy adores bike messengers of all shapes and sizes.
But there are certain types of guys who should be nobody‘s type. These guys are distinguished by one thing — an overabundance of one or more very bad qualities. Your guide to boys to avoid, after the jump… Keep reading »
I was so pissed off yesterday. My boyfriend (er, fiancé…but Amelia has already addressed why that’s the worst word ever) had to help some friends move. He called to tell me they were done and he’d be leaving in a half hour so we could hang out. Two hours later, I’m killing time watching reruns of Project Runway I’ve already seen and I’m starting to get a little mad. After my text of “Where the hell are you?” and his response, “Eating pizza” that was it.
Instead of exploding, I just got mega passive-aggressive. I work from home. It’s me and the dog all day long, so on the days when people who have real jobs don’t have to be at work, I get excited by the prospect of actual two-sided conversation. But rather than explaining that, I just ignored him when he finally showed up. Which, I’ll admit, it immature and not at all proactive, but it’s like I couldn’t stop myself. I was too annoyed to be rational and I figured that if I was going to feel isolated, so was he. Finally, I yelled. And he yelled back. Then split to take the dog for an hour-long walk. When he got back, we weren’t speaking. Keep reading »
Back when our moms were on the market, they could tell right off the bat if the foxy soda jerk was unavailable because back then married men never went anywhere without their rings. Not that a band of gold would necessarily keep a cad from straying (see also, Mad Men’s Don Draper), but at least a lady could make an informed decision about whether or not she wanted to wander into “other woman” territory.
Nowadays, it’s not so easy to tell who’s taken. Lots of married men don’t bother with rings and loads more just live with their significant others in a slightly more informal (though generally no less committed) cohabitation situation. I’ll spare you the moralizing, but I’m here to tell you that being someone’s girl on the side is a sucker’s game. Keep reading »