As I see it, there should be no discussion of a relationship, or exclusivity, within the first three months of dating. Those three months should be a drama and ultimatum-free zone. No jealousy or commitment. Just a period of savoring; the gritty, totally worth it hard work can come later. Save it, potentially, for the rest of your life.
If something works between two people, then there is no rush. That “click” will still be there in three months, and hopefully six, and a year, etc. And once you find that unlucky slob who will Eskimo kiss you when you’re sick, all you have to do in order to preserve your new found mutual attraction is to chill the f**k out, have faith, and not flinch. Let it happen. Keep reading »
It seems that all anyone is talking about lately is the economy, so why is money still such a tough topic to discuss with your nearest and dearest? They say married couples fight over money more than anything else, but what about when you just started dating? That’s possibly even more awkward. Keep reading »
I need your help, I’m a Sagittarius (11/23/88) and my boyfriend is a Leo (07/30/89). He’s a really nice guy and he gets along very well with my family, but I feel like he lets people tread all over him. His mom uses him and treats him like a stepchild, and he just takes it. She’s never encouraged him to go to college, and she never motivates him to be better. I’m tired of him being a momma’s boy.
I’m also tired of being the only person encouraging him to do something for himself. I help my mom by babysitting for my siblings, while I also have two jobs, go to school part time, and study for exams; I don’t have time for a loser BF. He does nothing with his life, so we never have anything to talk about. And then there’s our sex life. I feel like an idiot when I’m trying to talk dirty. He’s quiet ALL the time, even in the middle of sex, and it’s always the same two positions. Our sex life is boring, despite the fact that I try so hard by wearing sexy and provocative things. He won’t even spank me! I just don’t know if I should stay with Mr. Nice Guy. – Ms. Naughty Girl Keep reading »
I’m a strong Aquarius and my partner is a Libra. She and I started out as friends; we met through a drama club and a community service club. She would flirt with me and I would flirt back — at the time, I had no idea that I was a lesbian. We quickly became very sexual-hump buddies and then I kissed her in the heat of the moment. Three months later we started having sexy-time-escapades. Then she said she actually liked me; I hesitated, but I said I liked her too. So, we’ve been dating for about two years now, but I still have a desire to be free.
She can be very controlling and manipulating. I’ve wanted to break up with her, but she threatens to kill herself. Recently, I decided that I would break up with her because I am about to go to college and I really want a clean, focused state of mind upon entering college — but I can’t do it. I just don’t know what to do about this situation and in my opinion it is getting out of control. The first time she gave me oral sex we got in a HUGE fight right before — I regret that so much. Basically, our relationship is based on sexual desire with a hint of friendship. She is all about being out about being gay and letting everyone know, but I don’t like that idea. I just don’t know what to do. – Ms. Aqua Keep reading »
The biggest, baddest, most terrifying part of falling in love is opening up and letting yourself be vulnerable. When it works, love can seem like the stuff of fairytales: you meet someone, you get to know and like each other, you enter into a mutually trusting and respectful relationship, you fall deeply, madly, hopelessly in love, and you live happily ever after.
At least, for a while. Keep reading »
I’m a Leo (8/10/82) and my boyfriend is a Libra (9/25/81). We’ve been together for about two years and it’s the most compatible relationship I’ve ever had. Most of the time, he’s very sweet to me and would do anything for me. We love each other, marriage has come up in conversation, and we live together. However, he has a slight drinking problem. He’s cut back a lot since we temporarily broke up and got back together. He doesn’t drink every day, all day anymore. He’s not a violent drunk, and, actually, most of the time he doesn’t even get drunk.
Lately, though, when he has been drunk, he gets a little belligerent and says idiotic things that make no sense. It’s like he’s suffering from dementia. It’s really irritating, especially when he does this around my friends and makes them think he’s an idiot. When I tell him how he’s acting, he’s dismissive. Yesterday, he even called me a bitch, which he knows is my trigger word. I’ve been with an alcoholic before and the relationship was a terrible mess. I don’t want this one to get that way. Is it worth letting him take the slow road to recovery or should I just give up? – Fed Up With Nonsense Keep reading »
Between the Internet, blogging, and social networking, the concept of courtship can seem pretty antiquated. Depending on how Web-present you are, with the push of a button a guy could potentially access everything from your videotaped colonic to your SAT scores to mortifying details of your most recent heartbreak. All this before you’ve even met him in real life.
Once, I was regaling a new date with a funny story — only to have him interrupt and finish it for me. It wasn’t a case of sudden onset Alzheimer’s. I’d never met him before. He’d Googled me and read a piece I’d written that contained the anecdote. I was busted for plagiarizing my own material.
With any luck, your online presence isn’t as loud and embarrassing as mine. Still, living in a post-privacy world begs the question: How much information is too much information? Negotiating the privacy line becomes especially crucial when dating someone new. So here are some guidelines for what to reveal and what to leave unspoken. For now, anyway. Keep reading »
I’m Aries female seeing an Aquarius male for the past eight months. We started off purely sexual, after a year of flirting and shortly after we both got out of previous relationships. He has made it clear he wasn’t ready for a relationship and I agreed. But our feelings have grown stronger and we have expressed love for each other. He still maintains not being ready for a commitment, yet has gotten extremely jealous at times. In fact, we had our worst argument yet when my ex allowed me to store my things and stay in his extra bedroom when I moved out of my apartment, until I got back on my feet. (Please keep in mind that Mr. Aquarius knew I was going to be in transition and never offered for me to stay with him.) My Aquarius man ended up in the hospital from the stress of this past argument, expressing that his “love for me was about to kill him.”
I’ve never been in a “non-relationship” that was this dramatic. I really do care for this guy. However, I find it hard to follow invisible relationship rules. I have no urges to cheat on him and I completely trust him in that department as well (we’re highly compatible sexually). He’s still not ready for a relationship, yet tells me he’s never experienced a love so strong. What can I expect with him? I feel he’s being manipulative. Should I just to be patient, because it’s the Aquarius tendency to take relationships slow? I’m a typical, impatient Aries…and feel I have compromised a lot of myself. Should I just leave him alone? – (Im)patiently Waiting Keep reading »
I never trust couples that claim they don’t fight. I don’t believe them, and even if they aren’t lying, who wants to be with a guy who agrees with everything you say? How boring would that be? The best part of being in a relationship is exposing yourself to new ideas and ways of thinking. If you don’t have any conflict, you’re probably not going to have many sparks.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but one of the most important things a couple should figure out early on is how to fight fairly and effectively. Here’s what not do when you’re engaged in battle…. Keep reading »
My birthday is May 1st. My boyfriend’s birthday is June 15th. In March we’ll have been dating for eight years. I’m ready to get married and move the relationship forward. I was going to move in with him a few months back, but he said he knew that wouldn’t “entirely get him off the hook.” I know he is not ready to get married, nor does he know if he wants to have kids, while I know I do. He says I’ll just spend all his money, while I’ve said I would sign a pre-nup. Should I stick it out? I think I know the answer, but I’ve been too scared to break up with him.
To make my life more complicated, there is a guy; he is a Cancer (and seven years younger), and he has been wanting to date me badly. I can’t stop thinking about him. I keep stalling on doing anything because I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend and I also don’t necessarily want to jump from my boyfriend to another guy. Please help! I need some advice! – Lost Taurus Gal Keep reading »