“I’m a Libra woman (10/01/85) dating a Gemini woman (05/30/86). We started as friends, but then developed an attraction to each other. I’m a lesbian, but she made all the first moves, even though she identified as straight. She introduced herself, gave me her phone number, invited me over, asked me to be her girlfriend, etc. I feel like I can’t trust her because she has a lot of guy ‘friends,’ some are closer then others. When I try to get intimate with her, she pulls away and says, ‘If I let you, that’s when things will get crazy and I’ll want you all the time.’
I’m a virgin and I feel like she is having sex with other people. I tried talking to her about it, but she says it’s not all about sex. She always talks about herself and hardly anyone knows we’re together. I like her a lot, but I feel she could care less, though she claims to. I’m lost. Help!” – Lost Libra Keep reading »
Whether you’re getting married or have decided to live in (gasp!) sin, the decision to cohabitate is one of the most nerve-wracking, potentially fight-provoking, all-around-scariest things you will do as a couple. Here are some pitfalls to avoid:
1. The Money-Saver Move-In: The recession is kicking everyone’s ass, but if the major reasoning behind your decision to shack up is to save money, don’t. Living together, while fun, is also hard work and you’re going to need a big fat love connection when things get rough. Keep reading »
I don’t know what to do about my Virgo coworker (9/09/77). I’m a much younger Taurus (5/09/87), and he’s been flirting with me since November. He stares at me often — to the point that other workers have noticed and commented. Most of the office assumes that there’s something between us, but we’ve grabbed dinner after work only once (and fast food hardly counts). I’ve asked him out on a few occasions, but he always declines. He says he has issues caused by an ex, who was also younger than him, that he’s still broken up about. Apparently, she left him after he got laid off, and she broke his heart.
He told a mutual friend that he thinks I’m very attractive and that he does like me, but he won’t date me because of the age difference. Personally, I think that age doesn’t matter. I hold a higher position, despite being one of the youngest in our office, and usually act more mature than he does. Is there something more that he won’t own up to? Am I missing something? Is there some way to show him that age is just a number?” – Too Stubborn to Give Up Keep reading »
This week in “Keepin’ It Classy,” I received a letter from a lady who is trying to get back out onto the dating scene, but she’s confused about current social mores:
“I’m recently single and although I’m not quite yet ready to mingle, I do want to go out with my old girlfriends. Now that I have so much free time, I thought that it would make my social life easier, but it totally hasn’t. I’m so used to just hanging out at home with my man or making couple plans, that I don’t know what the protocol for an average date with the girls is. When did I get this lame? If I want to make plans day of, can I text two friends at the same time to see what they’re doing? Or do I have to wait for one to respond first? Making plans to hang out with friends is even tougher than dating!”
Keep reading »
“I’m a Scorpio (11/9/84 at 3:08pm) and the guy in question is a Pisces (3/15/84 at 4:26pm). I met him three years ago, and we dated for nine months. We ended up breaking up because he wasn’t able to juggle school, work, friendships and a girlfriend. Since then we have stayed really good friends. Last summer, after about 19 months, we started hooking up again, no strings attached. The problem is, I have been in love with him since the beginning. We both admit there is some strong connection between us, but I’m confused. He stated once before that he was afraid to get back with me because he didn’t want it to end badly and ruin our friendship. We often get into fights that are beyond heated and passionate, only to be fine with each other a few hours later, even if one of us has said we are walking away forever. Things have recently become more confusing since he started hooking up with a much older Gemini woman. Are we a match that will eventually work out when he gets over himself or am I wasting my breath?” – Optimistic Scorpio Keep reading »
“My ‘was-boyfriend’ (2/20/87) decided that he and I (5/07/86) should take some time apart after almost three years together. Our first year together was wonderful, and the second was great, but the third had become a little too comfortable — less about love and more about being best friends. He says this isn’t about anyone else, but he isn’t sure that I’m ‘the one.’ Sometimes I feel the same, but I think back to how amazing things were in the beginning. We’ve dealt with more than our fair share of long-distance love, and now he’ll be going to grad school while I’m out in the workforce. Do you think we have a chance of rekindling the romance and falling back in love?” – Tepid Taurus Keep reading »
When I asked an old friend why she hadn’t just broken up with her live-in boyfriend instead of beginning a messy affair with a married neighbor, she snapped, “Don’t be stupid—nobody leaves a relationship without having another one in place.”
Oh, please, I corrected her. Of course they do. People fall out of love or get angry and leave without a safety net all the time. But as I thought back, I realized that for as long as I knew her, she never had. Even when she pretty much hated the one she was with, she stuck it out until she’d lined up his replacement. I could never understand why. My friend is beautiful, successful and very smart; surely being single for a little while wouldn’t end her world.
Women aren’t the only ones guilty of this. I know—and have unfortunately dated——plenty of men who careen from one girlfriend directly into another, often with a big fat overlap; connecting the two relationships like a murky Venn diagram. I understand that being single can be annoying and lonely sometimes, but there are plenty of good reasons not to be—or date!—an Overlapper.
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I’m so confused about my current girlfriend. I’m a Sag and she’s a Libra. A little background info: We’ve only been together since February 13, but it started before that. Recently, I got stationed back home, after being gone for almost four years. I “re-met” this girl Ashley from high school when I was out celebrating my 22nd birthday. It was fireworks from the start. A few weeks later, we started talking about my deployment, and she said the longest she’s been away from a boyfriend is two weeks and even that was too hard. She promised me that she’d wait for me. Up until a week ago (five weeks in), things were good. I emailed her regularly, called her from foreign ports when I could. She even broke down and said that she never really noticed how much I meant to her until I was gone, eventually coming out and saying that she loved me. I knew how I felt about her and told her I loved her, too. Keep reading »
I used to dog sit for two of the cutest pups in the whole world.Their owners gave me strict instructions to always leave the TV on, set to Lifetime, whenever I left them alone. Without fail, when I’d come back, I’d find the dogs lying on the rug together, holding paws and watching the “Golden Girls.” Aww! Those dogs clearly learned a thing or two about how to love each other, and I bet Bea Arthur, as Dorothy Zbornak, taught them a lesson or two. She was always going out with some Tom, Dick (Van Dyke), or Dr. Harry — her neighbor/star of “Empty Nest.” Here are five things we learned from Dorothy’s dating debacles. Keep reading »
Here in the states, couples rarely admit to sleeping in separate beds, but across the pond not only do one in five couples avoid sharing a bed, they claim it improves their sex lives, too. An article in the Daily Mail tells the story of engaged couple Laura Mason and Colin Byers, both of whom are 28 and have slept in separate beds four of the last five years they’ve lived together. Citing sleep incompatibility as the reason for their separate beds — his snoring and warm body temperature keep her awake at night — they say their relationship and sex life improved when they stopped sleeping together: “We are just as close as ever. In fact, as soon as we made the decision, our sex life improved. We’d had a great sex life in our first year together, but having no sleep was making us too tired and irritable to crave that intimacy.” Keep reading »