I’m a strong Aquarius and my partner is a Libra. She and I started out as friends; we met through a drama club and a community service club. She would flirt with me and I would flirt back — at the time, I had no idea that I was a lesbian. We quickly became very sexual-hump buddies and then I kissed her in the heat of the moment. Three months later we started having sexy-time-escapades. Then she said she actually liked me; I hesitated, but I said I liked her too. So, we’ve been dating for about two years now, but I still have a desire to be free.
She can be very controlling and manipulating. I’ve wanted to break up with her, but she threatens to kill herself. Recently, I decided that I would break up with her because I am about to go to college and I really want a clean, focused state of mind upon entering college — but I can’t do it. I just don’t know what to do about this situation and in my opinion it is getting out of control. The first time she gave me oral sex we got in a HUGE fight right before — I regret that so much. Basically, our relationship is based on sexual desire with a hint of friendship. She is all about being out about being gay and letting everyone know, but I don’t like that idea. I just don’t know what to do. – Ms. Aqua Keep reading »
The biggest, baddest, most terrifying part of falling in love is opening up and letting yourself be vulnerable. When it works, love can seem like the stuff of fairytales: you meet someone, you get to know and like each other, you enter into a mutually trusting and respectful relationship, you fall deeply, madly, hopelessly in love, and you live happily ever after.
At least, for a while. Keep reading »
I’m a Leo (8/10/82) and my boyfriend is a Libra (9/25/81). We’ve been together for about two years and it’s the most compatible relationship I’ve ever had. Most of the time, he’s very sweet to me and would do anything for me. We love each other, marriage has come up in conversation, and we live together. However, he has a slight drinking problem. He’s cut back a lot since we temporarily broke up and got back together. He doesn’t drink every day, all day anymore. He’s not a violent drunk, and, actually, most of the time he doesn’t even get drunk.
Lately, though, when he has been drunk, he gets a little belligerent and says idiotic things that make no sense. It’s like he’s suffering from dementia. It’s really irritating, especially when he does this around my friends and makes them think he’s an idiot. When I tell him how he’s acting, he’s dismissive. Yesterday, he even called me a bitch, which he knows is my trigger word. I’ve been with an alcoholic before and the relationship was a terrible mess. I don’t want this one to get that way. Is it worth letting him take the slow road to recovery or should I just give up? – Fed Up With Nonsense Keep reading »
Between the Internet, blogging, and social networking, the concept of courtship can seem pretty antiquated. Depending on how Web-present you are, with the push of a button a guy could potentially access everything from your videotaped colonic to your SAT scores to mortifying details of your most recent heartbreak. All this before you’ve even met him in real life.
Once, I was regaling a new date with a funny story — only to have him interrupt and finish it for me. It wasn’t a case of sudden onset Alzheimer’s. I’d never met him before. He’d Googled me and read a piece I’d written that contained the anecdote. I was busted for plagiarizing my own material.
With any luck, your online presence isn’t as loud and embarrassing as mine. Still, living in a post-privacy world begs the question: How much information is too much information? Negotiating the privacy line becomes especially crucial when dating someone new. So here are some guidelines for what to reveal and what to leave unspoken. For now, anyway. Keep reading »
I’m Aries female seeing an Aquarius male for the past eight months. We started off purely sexual, after a year of flirting and shortly after we both got out of previous relationships. He has made it clear he wasn’t ready for a relationship and I agreed. But our feelings have grown stronger and we have expressed love for each other. He still maintains not being ready for a commitment, yet has gotten extremely jealous at times. In fact, we had our worst argument yet when my ex allowed me to store my things and stay in his extra bedroom when I moved out of my apartment, until I got back on my feet. (Please keep in mind that Mr. Aquarius knew I was going to be in transition and never offered for me to stay with him.) My Aquarius man ended up in the hospital from the stress of this past argument, expressing that his “love for me was about to kill him.”
I’ve never been in a “non-relationship” that was this dramatic. I really do care for this guy. However, I find it hard to follow invisible relationship rules. I have no urges to cheat on him and I completely trust him in that department as well (we’re highly compatible sexually). He’s still not ready for a relationship, yet tells me he’s never experienced a love so strong. What can I expect with him? I feel he’s being manipulative. Should I just to be patient, because it’s the Aquarius tendency to take relationships slow? I’m a typical, impatient Aries…and feel I have compromised a lot of myself. Should I just leave him alone? – (Im)patiently Waiting Keep reading »
I never trust couples that claim they don’t fight. I don’t believe them, and even if they aren’t lying, who wants to be with a guy who agrees with everything you say? How boring would that be? The best part of being in a relationship is exposing yourself to new ideas and ways of thinking. If you don’t have any conflict, you’re probably not going to have many sparks.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but one of the most important things a couple should figure out early on is how to fight fairly and effectively. Here’s what not do when you’re engaged in battle…. Keep reading »
My birthday is May 1st. My boyfriend’s birthday is June 15th. In March we’ll have been dating for eight years. I’m ready to get married and move the relationship forward. I was going to move in with him a few months back, but he said he knew that wouldn’t “entirely get him off the hook.” I know he is not ready to get married, nor does he know if he wants to have kids, while I know I do. He says I’ll just spend all his money, while I’ve said I would sign a pre-nup. Should I stick it out? I think I know the answer, but I’ve been too scared to break up with him.
To make my life more complicated, there is a guy; he is a Cancer (and seven years younger), and he has been wanting to date me badly. I can’t stop thinking about him. I keep stalling on doing anything because I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend and I also don’t necessarily want to jump from my boyfriend to another guy. Please help! I need some advice! – Lost Taurus Gal Keep reading »
A good friend of mine recently reminded me of some advice I’d given her back in college. She was about to sleep with a new boyfriend for the first time and had been fretting about some body part. Apparently I shrugged and told her, “Please—boys are just happy to have a naked girl in the same room as them.”
I was kind of surprised and impressed when she told me I’d actually said these words. Over the years I have had pre-sex panic attacks over (in no particular order): my eyebrows, nasally voice, bad breath, body hair, belly roll(s), teeth, table manners, inner thighs… basically if I had it, I wasted valuable lady hours worrying about it. Keep reading »
I’m a Capricorn girl (moon in Pisces, Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Libra) who’s four years into a long-distance relationship with a Sagittarian guy (moon in Cancer, Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Virgo). I think we both feel a sense of being drawn to the other, but this long-distance situation has taken a big toll on me emotionally. My biggest problem is that I have such a hard time trusting him and believing his motives are genuine. My dad (Aries) was a philanderer so my natural cynicism and disbelief that men can truly love and be happy with one woman is quite high. Sag guy makes an effort to listen to my doubts, learn to communicate better through words, and let me know how important I am to him. I think I love his freewheeling Sag ways when we’re together, but feel some concern over them when we’re apart. Keep reading »
Women who fall in love with and sometimes marry psychotic killers — like Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) or Ted Bundy — have always fascinated me. I mean, why? Sure, people do tend to have types, but “big-schnozzed manorexic” is a far cry from “slitter of throats and raper of ladies.” However, I have to give these women some credit—at least those guys were still in jail and therefore unable to harm them when they hooked up.
Drew Peterson’s latest fiancé is more of a risk-taker. Twenty-four-year-old Christina Raines is set to marry 53-year-old Peterson despite the fact that two out of his four ex-wives were either murdered or missing and presumed murdered. Though he hasn’t been formally charged in either murder, he remains Suspect #1.
That said, most of us who’ve dated law-breakers go a lot less high-profile—here are a few signs that you might be seeing someone who lives on Johnny Law’s bad side. Keep reading »