Tag Archives: relationship issues

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Lies About His Porn Viewing”

Wendy AtterberryAugust 18, 2011 //

I’ve been with my boyfriend — my first boyfriend — for almost two years now. I am away from home at school, only an hour and half drive away, and we see each other every weekend. He stays with me when he comes to visit. Recently the past couple of times he has come to visit, he uses my computer while I am away for class for a couple hours. At this recent account, I came back to my room and noticed that the floor was a little damp in a certain area right next to his chair. I asked him what happened and he said he spilled something. Later after he left, I was on my computer and up popped up porn sites. Then it dawned on me that he had not spilled something on the floor … if you know what I mean … So, I checked my history and found even more porn sites. According to the timeline of the days’ events, I know he looked at this right after I left for class, so right when he woke up and got out of bed.

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Girl Talk: I’m Divorced, Get Over It

Angela TungAugust 16, 2011 //

This month marks the six-year anniversary of my divorce. A lot has changed since then. I’ve lived on my own (no parents, roommates, boyfriend, or husband). I dated again for the first time in a long time (how long? there was no internet the last time I dated). I changed jobs, got another degree, changed careers, moved across the country. Fell in love again.

I’m happy, extremely so. So why do people still act sorry for me when they hear I’m no longer married and the reason why? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On Being A Slob

Winona Dimeo-EdigerAugust 12, 2011 //

My name is Winona and I am a slob.

Growing up, my mom affectionately referred to my bedroom as “the pig sty,” and rightfully so: the clothing, books, art supplies and cereal bowls that covered the floor would often reach knee-height before I felt the urge to tidy up a bit. At some point my brothers began gathering up the trash from their cars and setting it my room instead of putting it in the garbage. Months would pass before I found the bags of Slurpee cups and cracked Green Day CDs.

When I moved into my college dorm, my roommate was also a slob, and within months the trek from our doorway to our beds had become eerily reminiscent of the scene in “Star Wars” where Luke Skywalker falls into the Death Star’s garbage compactor. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “We Don’t Have Sex Anymore”

Wendy AtterberryJune 29, 2011 //

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. We used to have sex several times a day, but over the past six months it has decreased significantly. We are in an intense graduate program, so last semester both of us were quite swamped with work and lost our libidos. After the stress of the semester was over, things picked up again over winter break. But now, this semester, neither of us has the excuse of a “ton of work” anymore. I have asked him why we don’t have sex (at this point, it has been about three weeks) and his response is “because you’ve been mean to me recently, and when you’re mean it does not make me attracted to you.” That’s fine. I can work on being a nicer person and better girlfriend. But I feel like it’s a vicious cycle — I’m mean, so he doesn’t want to bang. But then I’m nice and since we are still not banging I freak out and get worried and thus become mean again. So my question: should I shut up and work on being nicer instead of expecting our sex life to turn around on its own? — Mean Girl

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Girl Talk: How “Intervention” Helped Me To Forgive

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 21, 2010 //

I was really young and naïve when I met Christian* at a nightclub. By “young,” I mean 18 and by “naïve,” I mean an inexperienced dater who thought men would only like me for my intelligence.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Christian asked some other club goers in line. I looked behind me to see where the beautiful girl was. I certainly didn’t think it was me. But he pointed at me again. He was standing in the club’s entryway wearing big, Buddy Holly glasses, black leather pants, and reeking of “teen icon.” Then he smiled – a wide, devilish grin. With one hand, he offered me a lollipop; with the other he held a whiskey on the rocks. In fact, in the four years (on and off) that we were involved, Christian usually had a whiskey on the rocks. It was like his signature accessory. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why Do I Always Try To Change Men?

Amelia McDonell-ParryJanuary 6, 2010 //

I’ve been in therapy for, oh, almost four years, I think. I go once a week, for 45 minutes. I spend a lot of time talking about myself, obviously — issues I have from the past that I need to work on because they’re affecting me in the present (and potentially the future), as well as the usual topics I need to vent about (work, money, family, etc.) so I don’t go postal. But mostly, I talk about boys.

When I say I talk about boys, what I mean is that I talk a lot about the issues the dudes in my life are having, how they’re affecting me and, thus, us, and how improvements need to be made in order for them to be better partners. I play amateur psychologist during my little 45 minute sessions each week with my doc, diagnosing each and every one of these boyfriends based on the knowledge I’ve gathered as a patient myself. I have evolved and healed in innumerable ways through my own treatment. I was (almost) fixed, so let me fix them.
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Girl Talk: Can A Relationship Become Too Comfortable Too Fast?

Amelia McDonell-ParryDecember 28, 2009 //

Recently, my boyfriend expressed some fear that we had moved too fast. While it’s only been four months, it feels like way more. Not quite a lifetime, but certainly a few years. We had clicked almost instantly, and while I was less than a year out of a nearly five-year relationship and he was, um, not quite divorced (a whole other topic), it seemed too good to pass up. I felt ready to be totally vulnerable and open to someone new, no matter where that might lead me. It has been (mostly) awesome. Keep reading »

Confessions Of A Former Ball Buster

Amelia McDonell-ParryNovember 6, 2009 //

I am what you might call a “ball buster.” My ex-fiance’s dad always used to laugh when I would tease his son, taking him down a notch or two when he was being cocky or arrogant. He would say, “Man, you really know how to take his knees out!” His wife was similar in her approach, probably because her husband and my fiance — father and son — were temperamentally alike and could take (in fact, needed) the occasional — OK, frequent — ribbing. Keep reading »

Breakup Lesson #472: Trust Your Gut

Amelia McDonell-ParryJuly 2, 2009 //

When did I become the star of the Lifetime movie, “In Love With A Stranger”? (This movie does not exist yet, but it should.) Was this the way “General Hospital”‘s Elizabeth Webber felt when she found out her husband, Ric Lansing, had kidnapped Carly Corinthos and was keeping her locked up in a secret room in their house? Was this kind of betrayal what Janet Jackson was singing about on the song “What About?” How many songs, movies, and books have been penned about deception? Countless, I think. But there are two people I’ve been thinking about in particular, who seem like they would get what it feels like to find out you’d been lied to for years by the person you loved. They are Julie Metz, author of Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal, and my ex-fiance’s college girlfriend, who emailed me yesterday out of the blue. Keep reading »

Poll: Is It Okay To Keep Money A Secret From Your Significant Other?

Catherine StrawnApril 27, 2009 //

Nazita Aminpour is suing Chase bank for telling her husband about her secret individual bank account with $800,000 in it. Aminpour had a joint account with husband David Shamash at Chase but kept her individual account a secret. Shamash found out about her secret account when a Chase employee cold-called to suggest he take his money out of that account and invest it in a different way. According to the suit Aminpour filed, Shamash started harassing her until she gave him $155,000 to invest in the stock market and to cover a margin call he had on his stock account. Aminpour says Chase violated non-disclosure laws and is asking the bank to pay her $155,000 plus legal fees. It seems pretty crazy that a woman would keep that much money a secret from her husband, but the bank had no business telling him about it. Do you think it’s OK for husbands and wives to keep secret money stashes from their significant others? [NY Post via Jezebel] Keep reading »

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