In dating, it’s always important to smile, laugh, respect each other and feel a mutual connection, but until now, I can honestly say I’d forgotten what it feels like to be comfortable with someone, how to be my truest self from the get-go. At no fault of my own, I feel like that missing piece wasn’t something I had much control over. I truly believe it takes the right person to draw that authenticity out of you. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. But when it does happen, that comfort can create a little blind spot where red flags go to hide. I, more now than ever, am on the lookout for them. Keep reading »
Part of the excitement of meeting someone new is the endless possibilities. This could be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, or the person who can give you an orgasm from oral, or the person who finally understands all of your obscure pop culture references. Getting swept up in the butterflies and the excitement is a blast, but it can also cloud your judgment and lead you to overlook the signs that the person you’re falling for kind of sucks. Let’s preempt part of the relationship where you’re crying over a bottle of alcohol, listening to your favorite Taylor Swift song and wondering where everything went wrong. Beware of anyone who displays any of these traits.
1. Balks at the idea of getting tested. It is the most reasonable idea in the world to want the person you’re having sex with to get tested. This is your health at stake. While most common STIs are curable, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking preventative measures to protect yourself. STIs are not just for “dirty” people, and anyone who thinks that way is not deserving of access to your body. Nor is it a matter of trust. There’s plenty of incentive to lie in this situation, and asking for proof is just pragmatism. Read more…
A man’s Facebook profile is his social resume. The photos, friends and groups he chooses, along with other Facebook features he employs, paint a picture of his personality. Here’s how to find out if that picture is a Rembrandt or rubbish. Keep reading »
Yesterday, I received a letter from a reader who says she has “terrible taste in boyfriends” and gets quickly attached to them and tends to “gloss over any bad attributes they might demonstrate that could represent negative qualities to come.” So, she asked if there were any “lesser known, more subtle relationship red flags” that she should watch for early on. Oh, honey! The list of dating-related red flags could go on and on. But to help save her and others potential relationship train wrecks, I’ve culled 25 of the more outrageous and surprisingly overlooked red flags I’ve heard of. Check ‘em out after the jump. Keep reading »
To help women tackle the well-known problems they have in their relationships with men, there are a number of popular TV shows, Web sites, newsletters, and self-help books that attempt to discuss what men are all about, and purport to help women understand men better. Women — generally being the more insightful and self-effacing gender — write the majority of these self-help tomes, so a man’s perspective is conspicuously missing. In my opinion (and with no disrespect intended toward those female writers), it doesn’t matter how a woman analyzes and assesses men’s societal ills, or how many focus groups she holds; she is still not a man… and she never will be. She is attempting to interpret men; her data-driven research is internalized and offered solely from a woman’s point of view, and thus incomplete. There is no choice but for her views to be skewed, because they’re based on the following societal program/lie: Women are responsible for the problems in relationships, and must fix them. But that is completely inaccurate, and is one of the reasons I offer the following insights into the world of men from a man’s point of view … as a man who has been on both sides of the fence — womanizer turned dedicated husband and father. Keep reading »