I want to meet the guy who guzzled a Red Bull, checked his watch after a few minutes and was like “Where the hell are my wings? This company is bullshit. I’m suing!”
For over 20 years, Red Bull has been lying to consumers by using the slogan “Red Bull gives you wings,” and now they’re paying $13 million dollars for not ACTUALLY giving you wings. Lucky for you, if you’ve bought a Red Bull even once in the last 12 years, you’re eligible for a $10 cash settlement, or (surprise, surprise) $15 worth of free Red Bull. Keep reading »
Awards shows are always a little bit of a hit or miss affair. Jane Lynch happened to be a pretty stellar choice for this year’s Emmys, but we’re feeling kind of meh about the idea of Eddie Murphy hosting this year’s Oscars. Never fear, all-star funny guy Steve Martin is around to offer necessary hosting advice and wisdom. As a part of a hosting duo with Alec Baldwin, Martin killed it, and in an open letter, he gives Murphy everything he needs to know about making it through the four hour mega-show monstrosity. Read the hilarious letter after the jump. Keep reading »
Who knew Mandy Moore could actually be funny? (We lost hope forever after “Because I Said So.”) [Uh, speak for yourself. I love that movie. -- Editor] But here’s Mandy in a hilarious and vag-tastic Funny Or Die video hawking Red Bull Energy Douche: the world’s first energy drink-slash-feminine hygiene product! Hmm, maybe if we had an energy douche around the Frisky offices, we’d turn in our copy more quickly… Keep reading »
If Red Bull gives you wings, than Drank, a new relaxation beverage, gives you the power to stop flapping them. Touted as a chill pill in a purple can, Drank doubled 7-Eleven’s sale expectations during the bev’s testing phase, and its profits were up 198% last year. But before you crack open a can, check out what’s inside the calming potion: Melatonin, rose hips, and valerian root. Melatonin “controls the human sleep cycle,” according to the company’s website, rose hips give you an antioxidant boost, and valerian root tames anxiety and helps the central nervous system get in chill mode. Ahhh, I feel relaxed already.
Oh, but wait, some doctors aren’t buying it. “I would not recommend it,” David DiPersio, clinical pharmacist at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center said. He says valerian root is known to cause seizures. Now if I ever pick up a can, I’ll be too freaked out to chillax. Keep reading »
Figuring out whether or not youâ€™re a swinger doesnâ€™t seem like it would be all that difficult. There’s not really any gray area: Either you are, or you aren’t. So if you find yourself relating to a few of the â€œ100 Signs You May Be a Swingerâ€ but don’t consider yourself a swinger, there can be other explanations…
3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend. You have lame coworkers.
29. You don’t think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels, and fishnets when there is three feet of snow on the ground. You are a hooker, a drag queen, or a sorority girl.
79. Making it an early night means getting home before 3 a.m. You are under 30 and live in New York City.
87. You’re at the market, and the only things in your basket are condoms, breath mints, and Red Bull. You are Britney Spears.
99. You spent twice as long on your online profile than you did on your resume. You are in your 20s. [Kasidie] Keep reading »