Tag Archives: recession

Vasectomies Are Selling Like Hot Cakes

The rich get richer and the poor get babies. Well, not anymore! These tough times aren’t gonna stop hardworking American men, just their sperm. According to CNN, the recession is responsible for a rise in the number of vasectomies and urologists are cashing in by sealing vas deferens!
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Quickies!: Josh Hartnett Has A Major Tummyache

  • Josh Hartnett was hospitalized for some sort of gastrointestinal disorder. And, no, this isn’t another Hollywood excuse, like exhaustion. [Dlisted]
  • Bjork was spotted in one of her kooky outfits while shopping in New York City. Wait, she actually shops for those clothes? I thought she conjured them in a cauldron. [Perez Hilton]
  • Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer broke up reportedly because he has a Twitter addiction. But that’s not the only annoying internet habit that can doom your relationship. [College Candy]
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    What’s For Lunch? Seven Reusable Lunchbags And Lunchboxes

    This is your mother speaking. You really shouldn’t be getting takeout for lunch every day. Not only are you throwing all of your money away, but you’re not eating all of your food groups! Why don’t you make something yummy for dinner and then pack it in a cute, reusable bag and take it to work? Martha Stewart even suggests a packable lunch recipe every day on her site, so you won’t need to waste a minute thinking about what to eat. You (and your wallet) will thank me when you’re older. Keep reading »

    Recession Special: How To Sell Yourself In This Market

    While the recession has screwed everyone, it’s really sticking it to a Romanian virgin. Grace Yataco, a Peruvian model, was offered 1.5 million for the chance to pluck her lady flower. Chaste Italian “Big Brother” star Rafaella Fico was offered 1.8 million dollars to be a whore on more than reality television. And here in the U.S., college student Natalie Dylan has been hocking her hymen to the highest bidder — so far, she’s got a $3.8 million dollar offer on the table. But for some reason, 18-year-old Alina Percea, from Romania, has only been offered a mere $7,000 in exchange for a whole weekend’s worth of sex. The beautiful, busty brunette is trying to raise enough money to go to college. But next to million dollar offers pouring in from pervs in other countries, it begs the question, what’s she doing wrong? Keep reading »

    From Jobless To Topless: Women Strip to Stimulate The Economy

    Turns out our turd economy is good for one thing: stripping. Applications to jobs in the adult entertainment industry have risen like adolescent boy schlongs in the last year. Today’s flashdancer could be a sad hottie simply downsized from her job at an imploding international investment bank…

    It’s better than an unemployment check. One night’s work at the gentleman’s club Sin City in NYC brings in an average of $1000. Dancers at Rick’s Caberet in Miami will fold up to 300,000 sweaty dollar bills into their g-strings this year. Recently, 200 women showed up for a job fair at the Foxy Lady in Providence, R.I. Keep reading »

    Does Going Brunette Keep Women Employed?

    Back in January we reported that new data suggested more women were dying their hair blonde during the recession. Catherine speculated that the added boost in confidence from going blonde might increase a woman’s number of free drinks at a bar, something we can all appreciate during these lean economic times. But now a conflicting report says that one in three blond female employees is going darker in an attempt to keep their jobs during this economic downturn. Researchers found that 62% of people think brunettes look more professional than blondes, prompting 31% of female employees to go back to their roots. Keep reading »

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