Our usual “Gossip Girl” recapper, Sara B., is off this week, so Simcha stepped in to analyze the season finale’s style.
Finale, it has happened to me! Last night was the last episode of “Gossip Girl.” As if the writing hasn’t already gotten patchy (honestly, if “GG” was hackable, why wouldn’t you delete the rumors you didn’t want published?), now they’re heading into the dreaded college years. Sigh. On the upside, the death knell was the hot jam “Zero” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. But while the teens may have graduated high school, there were some major fashion fails on the show. Like Serena lazily tacking her tassel into her hair. WTF? So, let’s rich bitch it up together, shall we?
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Last night, “Gossip Girl” was awesome fun! It was weirdly sentimental, and sweet, and No Doubt was there covering Adam and the Ants, and Brittany Snow actually charmed my dang pants off with her turn as Young Lily, and the ‘80s fashion was ADORBZ, and they played Men Without Hats, and there were actual nice parallels between the dual storylines! I feel like someone sat the writers down and gave them a talking-to. Keep reading »
OMFG this episode was actually F-U-N in spots! Can you believe it? Neither can I! Well, don’t worry. I’m sure next week’s episode will be supreme crossover lameness to pimp the new Lily-is-young-in-the-‘80s series. But today it’s still 2009, and I’m still basking in the afterglow of a sorta-good episode.
To review: Serena’s ugstown boyfriend Gabriel stole a bunch of money through a Ponzi scheme and disappeared. In this episode, Serena lures him in with a false pregnancy claim and then gets him to admit everything. He’s wearing softest powder blue and has a weird sudden fake tan. Because she’s stupid, she doesn’t involve the police but instead tries to play Encyclopedia Brown. Keep reading »
“Lost” turned 100 last night, airing its 100th episode, and, go figure, last night’s show ended with a shocker/head-scratcher/WHAT? The show has always been full of horrible fathers — from Jack’s alcoholic pop to Locke’s father who went so far as to steal his son’s kidney — but last night Eloise Hawking shot her son, scientist Daniel Faraday. Why’d she get trigger-happy? After recovering from shock, the blogosphere discussed. Keep reading »
After an excruciating hiatus, “Gossip Girl” is back! On last night’s episode, Passover was in the air, and Blair’s Jewish stepdad was back onscreen for Seder in the latest installment of your favorite meaningless teen dramedy. Also, other things happened. Keep reading »
After the amazing brouhaha between Kelly and Bethenny on last week’s episode of “The Real Housewives of New York,” this week’s episode was a downright snooze fest. Watching rich, middle-aged white people play tennis is about as exciting as watching the paint dry in Jill’s new Liberace-inspired apartment, and with Ramona’s new “cool as a cucumber” M.O. when it comes to Simon, we didn’t even have the pleasure of seeing her get her feathers all ruffled when he showed up as her surprise opponent. At least we can always count on the LuAnne to say something utterly ridiculous. This time, her particularly doltish remark of the episode came when the C(o)untess was visiting a group of preteen girls to talk about the importance of self-esteem. When one pleasantly plump girl said she’d like to be a model one day, LuAnne asked her to stand up and without missing a beat, said, “Well, you have a beautiful face, and you know what? Losing weight is easy.” The C(o)untess: writing the book on etiquette one social gaffe at a time!
Anyhoo, check out this hilarious “Ode To The Real Housewives Of NYC” clip above. Let’s hope next week the ladies (including Simon!) are back to their normal insanity. Keep reading »
Just when I had convinced myself that I actually enjoyed the first season of MTV’s “The City,” Lauren, Heidi, Spencer, Audrina, and the rest of “The Hills” crew are back, like the back-stabbing best friends I never had. The season premiere featured a tearful Heidi and Lauren reunion, and Spencer beating up a kid who dared to tell Heidi he saw Spencer hitting on a female bartender. And what’s this I see on the season teaser…? Keep reading »
OMG! Spoiler alert, for those of you who have yet to review your DVR’d “Gossip Girl” from last night: this episode didn’t completely suck! I know, right? Amazing! Let’s dive right into it.
First up: did they or didn’t they? Meaning Blair and Nate, of course. Turns out they didn’t, although Blair has been bringing Nate breakfast at his manse on the windswept Upper East Side moors for the past week. Try telling that to Vanessa, though. After getting a friendly text from her estranged loverboy (or so she thinks!), Our Lady of Indeterminate Ethnicity catches sight of Blair leaving Nate’s abode before school one morning. Chuck rolls up in his limo and lets V know that it was in fact he, the dastardly Bassling, who sent the false text. For you see, Charles has been stalking Blair and is convinced that Nate has resumed sticking his Archibald in her Waldorf. Vanessa resists Chuckie’s attempt to draw her into his plans for revenge, but oh: the episode’s only just begun…. Keep reading »
At this point, I love “Gossip Girl” the way I once loved a certain young lad back in my high school days. It’s almost like reliving that entire romance, in fact. Though I loved the show once with a passion beyond compare, it no longer satisfies me. I talk trash about it behind its back. But at the same time, I just can’t let go, because the good parts (the soundtrack, Ed Westwick’s face) are still so good. On some level, I’m still in love.
With that in mind, let’s enter the spectacular zone of white privilege and excess that is this thrice-baked trifle of a guilty pleasure… Keep reading »
I have so many questions as I sit, rapt, through the intro to Monday’s night episode of “Gossip Girl”: Would Dan boink Ol’ Teachy McTeacherson again? Would Serena’s breasts push free of their restrictive corsetry and finally take over the entire screen with their golden magnificence? Would Chuck take his custom-made Saville Row pants off and dance for me and me alone? Keep reading »