I didn’t need a crystal ball to predict that the CW’s updated version of “Melrose Place” was going to be kind of awesome. It seemed like Laura Leighton, aka Sydney, was going to be the major player on the show—she was sprawled out in a chaise lounge in the center of the show’s cast promo pics, which was confusing because any “Melrose” addict knows that she died in a car crash on her wedding day back in the ’90s. Turns out that she only faked
her death, with the help of Dr. Michael Mancini, and now has come back to be Melrose Place’s landlord. She was already, of course, sleeping with one of Melrose’s tenants, David—conveniently, Michael’s son. But then, just a few minutes into the episode, Sydney was floating face-down in the infamous Spanish-tiled pool. She’d confessed to David that she’d done something “really, really bad” and no doubt she’ll become this show’s version of Laura Palmer—the season will be about figuring out who killed her. Was it Michael, who wanted to keep her from telling his wife that they’d been boning? Was it David, who was pissed she was also getting it on with his dad? Keep reading »
NeNe Leakes shouted “I’m the director” all over Buckhead as she prepared “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” for the alter-ego photo shoot by photographer Derek Banks. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The episode opened with the social director of the crew (NeNe) inviting Kandi and Sheree for Minx Nails manicures. They really over-shared about their pubic hair while getting primped. Kandi got rid of hers with electrolysis. And Sheree is completely bald, and I don’t know why. Brazilians? Alopecia? Who knows. Keep reading »
Kim has latched onto Kandi like I predicted she would. Really, I can’t blame Kim for wanting to become close to Kandi because it’s difficult to be on a show if you’re not friends with any of the other four women. Kim visited Kandi at her studio and actually convinced Kandi to produce “Tardy for the Party,” the song she and NeNe created last season, but Kim refused to sing the song in front of Kandi. Chances are, Kim, if you’re too shy to sing with others around, then you’re not a singer. Meanwhile, Lisa and NeNe were in L.A. visiting Lisa’s family. Please tell me NeNe and I weren’t the only ones shocked to find out Lisa’s mom is black and her father is Asian — I thought it’d be the other way around. NeNe met a great part of Lisa’s Asian family members because it was her grandmother’s 92nd birthday. The best advice of the night was when Lisa’s grandmother said she slathered Vaseline all over her face throughout her life to keep wrinkles at bay. And it really works. Grandma didn’t have one wrinkle on her face. I’m too scared of acne to try it, though. As it turns out, Lisa did visit the grave site of her older brother Meho, but I still don’t get why that was such a priority for her other brother. If she didn’t want to go, she shouldn’t have been forced. Sad, sad Sheree didn’t have a big part in last night’s episode. She’s planning another Sh*t by Sheree fashion show, but for some reason Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss look-alike models aren’t showing up for her auditions. I wonder why. Keep reading »
I’m a little disappointed in the behavior of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” cast members. On last night’s episode, all the women came together for the first time this season. NeNe had arranged for a private tour of a King Tut exhibit that had come to Atlanta. Kim showed up, and I think the only reason she did was because you can’t exactly have a show about five women if they’re never around each other. She latched onto newbie Kandi because Kandi genuinely reserved judgment about her until they had a chance to meet and talk. While they were chatting, Lisa made fun of Kim’s singing and tried to convince NeNe and Sheree to interrupt the conversation. This is why Lisa is an instigator. She tried to get the beef going once again at a museum exhibit. Remember, Lisa was the one who told Sheree about NeNe’s song last season, and we know that was partly to blame for the feud between NeNe and Kim. Keep reading »
Yesterday I enjoyed three of the things I missed the most while I was in Costa Rica (to be honest, the list isn’t much longer than that) — my dog Lucca, a big ol’ breakfast burrito from my favorite brunch joint, and “True Blood.” I caught up on last week’s episode first (Annika did a killer recap), which should have been called “Hoytsica & The Never-Ending Hymen.” Jessica is eternally a virgin! How awesomely strange is that?! Last night’s episode was just as thrilling — Hoyt continued to prove that he’s the most evolved man in all of Bon Temps, Mary Ann continued to spread her black-eyed craziness in her hunt for Sam, Jason “Action” Stackhouse kicked Preacher Steve’s ass, and Lafayette proved that gay men in eyeliner aren’t to be f**ked with. Sookie continued to be a pain in the ass (though she had one good line, telling Jason to use his brain instead of “letting it take up space in your skull”), Bill was a little less wimpy than usual, and Erik continued to dominate, tricking Sookie into drinking his blood, resulting in her having sexual fantasies about him.
You wouldn’t expect it, but “True Blood” has become a bit of a tearjerker. When Godric decided that his vampire existence must come to an end and stood in the sun, evaporating into a burning vortex with the help of totally ’80s special effects, I welled up. I didn’t, however, blubber as much as Erik, whose mourning for his maker was positively heartbreaking. It’s a good thing we got to see his naked vampire viking ass in the flesh, because otherwise, he might have lost some manly points for that display. Clip above! Keep reading »
The folks at HBO seem to outdo themselves with every “True Blood” episode and last night’s was no different. Basically, it was all about rescuing Sookie and Godric, who didn’t really need any assistance, from the Fellowship of the Sun people, and Maryann continued her domination over Tara and Eggs. Keep reading »