Woohoo! “The Bachelorette” is back! Andi Dorfman, last season’s tough talking DA who told Juan Pablo where to stick it, is basically this show’s ideal star. She’s pretty, she’s feisty and, most of all, she is desperate to find love and be engaged at the end. Unfortunately for her, the casting directors phoned it the fuck in this season, as over half of the dude contestants gave me MAJOR gay vibes and many of them are just straight up unattractive. Like, I’m pretty horny these days, and I would still need beer goggles to bring 95 percent of these dudebros home. If I was her, I would ask for a do over. Alas, the cards have been dealt and Chris Harrison has uttered those infamous words, “Let the journey begin!” Here’s this week’s recap — presented in superlatives! Keep reading »
Allow me to describe last night’s episode of “The Bachelorette” in one word: CRINGE. Now, this is nothing new, as “The Bachelorette” is always chock full of cringe-worthy moments. But last night’s episode took the cringe to whole new levels of secondhand shame. From the most psychotic date in all of “Bachelorette/Bachelorette” history to the epic diss handed down to one of the bachelors — spoilers ahead! — here are the good, bad and WTF moments from last night’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” as Ashley narrowed down the field from six to four. Keep reading »
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Last night, yet another stupendous episode of “Bachelor Pad” went down and it became apparent that if you weren’t willing to get busy with a member of the opposite sex, you were going home with empty pockets. Keep reading »
Last night was the season three premiere of “True Blood” and damn, was it awesome. How I have missed watching trashy, soft-core vampire porn on Sunday nights! After the jump, a recap via the episode’s best quotes. There is also a picture of Eric’s OTHER side, if you know what I mean. Keep reading »
Will you remember where you were and who you were with the night “Jersey Shore”
premiered on MTV? I will, because the show was just that friggin’ awesome.
The show follows eight tri-state area locals as they spend the summer living, working, and partying together on the Jersey Shore. They’re all self-identified “guidos” and “guidettes,” which has offended some in the Italian-American community who believe those words are slurs. But the cast and producers insist that being a “guido” is a lifestyle — involving copious amounts of hair gel, fist-pumping, spray tanning, and drinking — that transcends race or ethnicity. Whatever. I call it entertaining. Keep reading »
I didn’t need a crystal ball to predict that the CW’s updated version of “Melrose Place” was going to be kind of awesome. It seemed like Laura Leighton, aka Sydney, was going to be the major player on the show—she was sprawled out in a chaise lounge in the center of the show’s cast promo pics, which was confusing because any “Melrose” addict knows that she died in a car crash on her wedding day back in the ’90s. Turns out that she only faked
her death, with the help of Dr. Michael Mancini, and now has come back to be Melrose Place’s landlord. She was already, of course, sleeping with one of Melrose’s tenants, David—conveniently, Michael’s son. But then, just a few minutes into the episode, Sydney was floating face-down in the infamous Spanish-tiled pool. She’d confessed to David that she’d done something “really, really bad” and no doubt she’ll become this show’s version of Laura Palmer—the season will be about figuring out who killed her. Was it Michael, who wanted to keep her from telling his wife that they’d been boning? Was it David, who was pissed she was also getting it on with his dad? Keep reading »
NeNe Leakes shouted “I’m the director” all over Buckhead as she prepared “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” for the alter-ego photo shoot by photographer Derek Banks. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The episode opened with the social director of the crew (NeNe) inviting Kandi and Sheree for Minx Nails manicures. They really over-shared about their pubic hair while getting primped. Kandi got rid of hers with electrolysis. And Sheree is completely bald, and I don’t know why. Brazilians? Alopecia? Who knows. Keep reading »
Kim has latched onto Kandi like I predicted she would. Really, I can’t blame Kim for wanting to become close to Kandi because it’s difficult to be on a show if you’re not friends with any of the other four women. Kim visited Kandi at her studio and actually convinced Kandi to produce “Tardy for the Party,” the song she and NeNe created last season, but Kim refused to sing the song in front of Kandi. Chances are, Kim, if you’re too shy to sing with others around, then you’re not a singer. Meanwhile, Lisa and NeNe were in L.A. visiting Lisa’s family. Please tell me NeNe and I weren’t the only ones shocked to find out Lisa’s mom is black and her father is Asian — I thought it’d be the other way around. NeNe met a great part of Lisa’s Asian family members because it was her grandmother’s 92nd birthday. The best advice of the night was when Lisa’s grandmother said she slathered Vaseline all over her face throughout her life to keep wrinkles at bay. And it really works. Grandma didn’t have one wrinkle on her face. I’m too scared of acne to try it, though. As it turns out, Lisa did visit the grave site of her older brother Meho, but I still don’t get why that was such a priority for her other brother. If she didn’t want to go, she shouldn’t have been forced. Sad, sad Sheree didn’t have a big part in last night’s episode. She’s planning another Sh*t by Sheree fashion show, but for some reason Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss look-alike models aren’t showing up for her auditions. I wonder why. Keep reading »
I’m a little disappointed in the behavior of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” cast members. On last night’s episode, all the women came together for the first time this season. NeNe had arranged for a private tour of a King Tut exhibit that had come to Atlanta. Kim showed up, and I think the only reason she did was because you can’t exactly have a show about five women if they’re never around each other. She latched onto newbie Kandi because Kandi genuinely reserved judgment about her until they had a chance to meet and talk. While they were chatting, Lisa made fun of Kim’s singing and tried to convince NeNe and Sheree to interrupt the conversation. This is why Lisa is an instigator. She tried to get the beef going once again at a museum exhibit. Remember, Lisa was the one who told Sheree about NeNe’s song last season, and we know that was partly to blame for the feud between NeNe and Kim. Keep reading »